There’s just no arguing

It’s late evening, Nani and G’pa are exhausted after a day of chasing two little demons. They buy themselves a reprieve by bribing them with two little foil wrapped chocolates. But one little pair of greedy eyes isn’t content with it. It looks up behind Nani at the shelf where a box holds some more foil wrapped chocolates and badly wants some more.

Bean: Nani, would you like to give me something shiny and red from your shelf?

Nasty Nani (brusquely): No, it is almost dinner time and I don’t want to give you anything shiny, red, purple, blue, or green.

The Bean takes a walk around the room, thinking over her strategy. She returns.

Bean: Nani, would you like to think again, about giving me something shiny and red from your shelf?

Nani: I am not thinking about anything at all, thank you very much.

Bean takes a walk around the room and returns: Nani, I’d really like you to give me something red and shiny from your shelf.

Nani gives up all attempts at discipline and hands over the red, shiny thing.


Since the kids are there for 3 weeks and most kids tend to forget everything during school holidays, Nani and G’pa have been given strict instructions on giving the babies some colouring or writing to do everyday. Life being the way it is, the grandparents refuse to make their grandchildren study and a sweet tempered teacher from Chhota Nana’s nursery school is asked to come over and teach/play with the Brat for an hour everyday so that he doesn’t come back to Delhi like a slate wiped clean. The poor teacher has been run ragged and all because the Brat is finally living up to his nick. Home is no place for a teacher to be, he believes and so he is well within his rights to refuse to study.

The teacher on the other hand is doing her best to befriend the Brat before moving on to an education.  “Can we be friends?” she asks.

Brat appraises her height and says: No, grown ups and small people can’t be friends.

Teacher promptly kneels down so that she is his height: There, now you and I are both small people. Can we be friends now?

Brat ponders, then climbs up on the bed so that he is higher than her and says: Not really. Now I am a grown up and I don’t want to be friends with a small person.


Having been told by Brat’s old school that we were turning him into a social retard (in pretty much so many words) we tried to remedy it by showing him cartoons that his peers might be watching and so on and so forth. The Calvin-ish Brat suddenly confronted with super heroes took to them with a vengeance and nowadays its impossible to hold a conversation with him because he only responds to the name of Batman. He has owned Batman underwear for at least two years but paid it no heed until now.  A few days ago I came home to a crimson faced maid who on questioning responded that she refuses to be seen in public with the Brat. He has in all innocence been pulling down his shorts and lifting up his teeshirt to show an unwilling audience his Batman underwear and vest!

Nani and G’pa took them to Banaras over the weekend and as they hopped out of the car and walked into the hotel, the hotel staff greeted them and asked them their names.

I’m Batman, says the Brat.

And I’m Catwoman, says the Bean.

When told that they need haircuts, the Brat only agreed to go after being told that it would be a Batman haircut. The Bean gave it some thought and said she’d only go if she got a Poison Ivy haircut. *rolls eyes*

And the piece de resistance, an unsuspecting kitten who wandered into Nani-G’Pa’s garden has been kidnapped and locked up in their bedroom and each time Nani suggests setting it free, the babies throw themselves on the floor and sob like their hearts are breaking. It’s been named – BatCat.


Also, for all the mommies reading this, almost all of us have had acute cases of mommy guilt. Go here and participate in a contest by telling your mommy guilt story. You might just win something! Hurry, there’s barely a week to go!


65 thoughts on “There’s just no arguing

  1. BATCAT? i almost fell off my chair- Poison Ivy? WHAAAAAAA? I didnt even know what Ivy was until I was like fifteen or something! OMG OMG OMG. ok, i’ll shut up now. But seriously, POISON IVY? Hugs, dear woman.

  2. I hear you babe! Our until-recently Hanuman-besotted son decided to try out some not-so-gentle moves with his sister, and on rebuking him, he insisted he’s Spiderman now. We don’t even have a TV, but what do you do when his classmates and friends are pushing these superheroes in their faces?

    LOLing at BatCat. So where’s the Batmobile?

    Bean is so very cute with her polite repeated requests!

    • painful isnt it? i spend five years keeping my kid away from TV and in one fell swoop the school insists that he should be exposed to it and crash…. everything comes tumbling down!

      • From personal experience school is doing the right thing..i remember my parents being very strict with me and most of the time i was unable to discuss the programs with my friends and then i remember i rebelled, even requested my neighbours to allow me to watch TV and did all sorts of things basically just to watch TV..

        • i think i’m going to have to disagree. parents should have a right to bring up their children in the way they want, unless theyre doing something illegal, unethical or cruel.

          what if a school in the US insists that a Hindu kid/vegetarian kid, needs to worship/eat differently, just to fit in? Surely schools should teach you to appreciate diversity and respect a parent’s choice?

          • MM, i really dont know what kids discuss these days but cartoon’s /movies are more likely to be discussed than religion and evidently even Brat is enjoying the cartoon stuff

            • okay…
              1) Children will enjoy so many things. They love chocolates and chips. but surely you dont expect parents to give it to them simply because other kids are having them, knowing very well that it is harmful for the child? another parent might be okay with letting their kids ruin their health, but each parent has to do what they think is best, right? certainly not give in to peer pressure. in this case, peer pressure made the school put pressure on us
              2) kids are certainly not discussing religion. you didnt understand my point. this is about a belief system. if i believe in a certain thing, should i stop doing it, just to make my child fit in? or should i stand up for my beliefs and teach my kid what i think is right?

        • I don’t think so. Kids discuss hundreds of things, and even when my kids’ friends discuss TV with them, my kids (we don’t have a TV) just pick up stuff without feeling left out or misfits. Every household can’t be the same.

          I remember feeling left out of certain conversations when my friends discussed cable TV, which we didn’t have, but it didn’t affect our friendships in anyway.

          How anyone can say it’s essential for a kid to know stuff going on on TV is beyond me.

          • MM,
            1)Peer pressure is something one has to live with , you just cant wish it away and all i am trying to say is school gave its point of view and then its up to the parents to take it or leave it and then at the end of the day the parents should do the balancing act

            2)Who said to stop doing what you believe is right ..just a bit of balancing would go a long way and anyways in a couple of years more Brat will be doing his own thing and not what his parents or school want him to do..

            • sure – but is it right for a school to put pressure on you and say they will not keep your child on in school and that he needs psychiatric help because he doesnt know his pepsi from his coke? you’re a regular reader so i assume you’ve read the old posts and know the history. also, the school did not simply give a POV – it insisted that the child be sent to a psychiatrist (they even set up the appt and took feedback from the psych!) and that we start making him watch TV if we want him to stay on.

              also – who is to decide what is is balanced? we were doing our best and letting him watch animal planet, discovery and a lot of disney cartoons. balance is rather subjective, right?
              and i dont think brat will be doing his own thing for atleast another ten years, considering i’m his mother 😀

  3. BatCat. Shiny red things. Poison Ivy haircut. No homework.

    That’s all the stuff you need to make one happy summer vacation and one set of fast-greying grandparents! 🙂

    When are they back? I’m only asking because I really want to see how your little girl carries off the otherwise-ridiculous Poison Ivy haircut. I’m really hoping she got that 😀

  4. OMG ! Cute !!

    This blog HAS to be the Cutest space on Web Blogosphere!!

    *Off with that fake-I-am-trying-to-get-ppl-off-kids-story*

  5. u know MM, when i read about this horrid hideous fuckedup school of brat it makes me so mad i want to fucking go and give a piece of mind to the fucked up management and teachers who think it is in their capacity to break a child’s spirit like that and create self doubt for parents.

    i am SO glad you have found him a school where he will belong but i wonder how many kids will grow up believing they are not good enough because ‘teacher said so’.

    i don’t kow why i am so worked up about this but really… is it just this school? our education system? our culture? what what WHAT?

    sorry this is such a cutesy post. of whatever little i have seen of your tiny babies i wonder how any fucking idiot could do this to them.

    • I agree! Any school that makes a kid feel small for being different should be banned!

      Isnt it bad enough that grown-ups with all their “maturity” and “understanding” feel the pressure to fit in? do we have to do this to our kids too? Why can we not celebrate difference? Why can we not bring up our kids to see that another point of view is just as valid as our own?

      And since when did schools start advocating TV?I lost count of the number of debates I have taken part in on the topic ” The negative effects of TV on our education system”!!

  6. Poison Ivy…who feeds her with this information…YOU ?? 😉 i did not even know something like this existed…

    I like Brat’s idea of friendship…And i like Beanie’s polite persistence AND the BatCat is hillarious….And….

    OK…to sum it up i like it all coz am not at the receiving end here 😉
    I pity the poor grandparents. 😀 😀

  7. LOL. ur kids are adorable! 🙂
    Sounds like fun having red shiny things, doting gparents, bat cat, poison ivy haircuts.. a scene out of an enid blyton kids book :p

  8. bratman should do whatever superbeings with underwear outside their leotards do to eliminate any attempt at schoolwork during holidays. more power to this bratboy!
    more power to catgirl for having what it takes to get the red shiny stuff!

    and you, you mother of the superbeings, should not look forward to meeting me very soon! i will have a lot to say about making the kids watch TV. why oh why. tell the school social retards is what they should aspire to being as well, will probably set their assessment mechanisms right.

    jokes aside- forget the retard programming on tv meant for kids. for once just watch the ads aired on channels meant for kids. its chilling. and how can a school advocate WATCHING tv as opposed to DOING stuff like painting pots etc?

  9. Batman.. Catwoman.. BatCat.. Poison Ivy.. Flashing Batman vest.. Making poor Nani part with chocolates.. Are all kids soo adorable? And so smart? Zabardast bachche hain aapke.. Ekdam mast! 🙂

  10. Yahahaha. Kids after my own heart. I love the Batman story. It’s so nice that Bean has a hero to follow around and worship, also to boss and order 🙂 It’s nice to see a longish post. Hugs.

  11. Your kids are a hoot and three-quarters…and then some! Witty, intelligent and just plain adorable!

    As for the TV bit…there, there! I bow to thee for staying away foe as long as you did! Just monitor what they watch and for how long and I promise they’ll be fine 🙂

  12. BatCat? Wait till she finds a BatMobile. I think everyone in your hometown will be saying soon, “so jaa bete, nahi toh Batman, CatWomand and BatCat aa jayenge, BatMobile pe!”

    Can we see some pictures of Poison Ivy haircut? My little one needs a summer cut. I should find her a style before she starts thinking for herself 🙂

  13. A child who actually waits patiently and uses ‘please’ to ask for a piece of chocolate and you call her a demon?? You na, Mad Momma!

    My 3 yr nephew insists on showing off his Diego undies too – only, he needs to take off all his clothes and then walk around the house 🙂

  14. hey yaad aaya ki since the two little pair of eyes are away having fun, hope you two are playing your share of indoor games too. Wink wink .. Sorry if i sound cheap, just couldn’t help it 🙂

  15. Are your kids for real?!!! Seriously, how can they be soo witty, cute and funny all in one package!!!

    I love street cats – I had tons of them and you know what, kids that grow with pets have fewer allergies – so let them have fun and name them after the batman genealogy 🙂

  16. When we were kids , there was this cartoon called “Captain planet” and it really helped me and my brother a lot more environment conscious.

    We totally stopped littering and actually learned quite a lot about pollution and the various ways to contribute towards stopping it.

    So…cartoons are really not all that bad. Sometimes even good!

    And MM , i am going to start work as an architect in a firm soon. I hope you remember me , i had mailed you.

  17. Poison Ivy??!!! No really, POISON IVY!!!! How do kids pick these things up? I didnt think they remembered stuff like that. And the Brat should probably now be called BratMan, will due respect to his new name. And poor maid must be tired pulling up his shorts everytime he has to mood to flash 😛 hehe But a craze is a craze and what good is it if its not complete with the flashing Batman underwear 😛
    And BatCat? ROTFL. Its good thing the cat cant talk.
    And that little thing called Catwoman is so persistent, I can already see her going places. That s one persuasive, persistent and stubborn woman in the making, or is it just in the blood? 😉
    Your kids are so loveable I’ve had dreams about them, yes, only about them and you featuring only sometimes as a cameo. Never knew I could love them so much, even if we havent met/spoken.
    Tight hugs to the kids and oh, you too 🙂

    • Hey,

      Ask politely and repeatedly. may be you will get your wish liek Beanie got her red and shiny chocolate 😉

      (PS:Sorry! couldnt resist! 😀 )

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