The eternal romantic

This life…is what you make it. No matter what you are going to mess up sometimes, it’s a universal truth. But the good part is, you get to decide how you’re going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends – they’ll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything – They’re your true best friends. Don’t let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they’ll come and go too. And babe, I hate to say it, most of them – actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up; because if you give up, you’ll never find your soul mate. You’ll never find that half who makes you whole. And that goes for everything; Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself. Because if you don’t, then who will sweetie? So. Keep your head high. Keep your chin up. And most importantly, keep smiling. Because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about. – Marilyn Monroe.

This quote by Monroe is a very famous one. And I happen to agree with a lot of it. But for a bit in the middle about lovers coming and going. There is something about that line that makes it seem as though lovers are fickle. I don’t believe that is true. I have no doubt that many of us have broken hearts or had our own broken. But there is something so jaded about the observation that lovers will come and go. Not if they really love you.

In my experience, if you’re even half smart, you know which ones are in it for love and which ones are in it for the fun of it. At times you fool yourself, but if you keep  your eyes open, it is rare. Which is not to say there are no crooks -just that many of the relationships that end are for reasons. Time, distance, different needs. As for the assholes who are just messing with you, they need to be publicly stoned to death.

I often wonder about this quote and it seems like this is the sort of thing that might happen to a celebrity like Monroe. I can imagine that plenty of men wanted to get into her pants. I can imagine her expectations being high, just as theirs would have been. I can imagine ego clashes. There is so much more baggage when you are involved with a celebrity.

The rest of us ordinary women? I doubt anyone is tripping over their feet to be with us. The only ones who want to be with us are those who really do care. And if for some reason that doesn’t work out, lets try not to be cynical about it. Yes okay, so I’m the eternal romantic. What are you?

Also – my Bible reading for today (Psalm 32:8 in case anyone wants to read what I am talking about) was about God guiding one along the best pathway for your life. Made me wonder a little about success. What does success mean to you? Does it mean excelling in a particular field? What if you have challenges like family, financial issues, anything. I know most will say it is not necessarily professional excellence. So then what is it?

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16 thoughts on “The eternal romantic

  1. For me??
    I try to live life such that tomorrow I do not regret my actions. I am ready to take chances and I know I will make mistakes. But, as long as tomorrow I dont repent about a missed chance for something i really wanted to do, I think I will call myself successful. I am not saying I wont repent about things, but the repent should not be such that it makes me lose sleep over it.

  2. I thought of me as the eternal skeptic. Since my earliest years, I got the idea that everyone in your life is going to hurt you and that it’s just around the corner. So much so that I only saw and remember things that validated this belief. It’s a miracle that I fell in love so hard that I can’t even believe I was the same person I was. I now know that if you stop looking, you’ll never find your soulmate.

  3. I agree its very cynical to believe that lovers are fickle. I think the concept of soul mates is largely a function of timing.Its about two people who are willing to love the other in the way each needs at that particular time more than anything else. I know – slight cockeyed theory but then how do you explain why some wonderful, kind, caring and sensitive people just are not able to engage you in the manner that you need to be in a loving and content relationship.

  4. I was seeing bits of this bad movie on TV on the weekend and suddenly there was this one little speech that I agree with: “Success is being so excited about what you do that you literally fly out of the door in the morning.” (Well, excluding the “literally”, of course. And if this is true, why, I’m very successful right now!

  5. Success to me is, never feeling the need to define it. It is never having it narrow it down to a few words, and have it speak of the quality of my life. Because every moment is already perfect just the way it is, and right ‘now’ when I know it, and feel it, I am already ‘there’!

  6. Marilyn poor thing had an awful life and looked to men to fill the void her family left – an abusive father, the works. I am currently reading Marilyn by Gloria Steinem and it’s quite heartbreaking her vulnerability, her sheer need to be loved and desired. Here was a woman who actually thought she came with an expiry date. Her romantic experiences are probably not comparable to most of ours but it’s easy to see why she so desperately sought a half to make her whole. I went to a Steinem talk 2 weeks ago (and died but that’s different:)) and she talked about how Norma would walk down the street with a friend and no one really would notice her. Then she’d tell her friend “Want to see me be Marilyn” and she would, and heads would turn. Clearly not someone who had a strong sense of self and it made its way into her relationships.

  7. So here is Ms. Eternal Romantic, who, after having believed in, well, eternal romance for more than 26 years of her life, decided 2 days ago that she is done with the foolish optimism; that cynicism was the way to go. That it is easier to be guarded than to lay bare your heart and soul and believe in soulmates and the forever kind of mush.
    Part of the rebellion included a screaming slanging match with parents, a seething anger that refused to go. Refusal to read the daily morning Bible passage among other things(yes, yes, we are very mature like that) and generally being tantrum-my with the world. And just when I thought the day was ending, with no sign of a ‘sign’ (I did mention our levels of maturity, didnt I?), here is your post. With even a beautiful Bible verse thrown in for good measure. Made me smile after 2 days of sporting a frown on my face!
    Success to me would be that happy family I go home to, at the end of the day. A bunch of kids (3/4?) and a husband I love. I dont say this because I dont currently have one :P. Thanks to my family, which, while it lays all the emphasis in the world on a good education, great jobs et al, has shown me that at the end of the day, its the family and the friends you make, for life, that matters.
    Honesty, gratitude,compassion; throw in huge doses of warmth (a welcome home and hearth to anyone who seeks one) – my dad’s formula for success (at least the way he defines it) and its worked well for him for 55 odd years. That would be it for me too, I guess. 😀

  8. Currently, for me it is to pull my mother out of the hellish life she has lived for more than 35+ years. Getting her out to the other side- the sane, decent side- will be probably be my biggest success in life. So yeah, I guess that would mean bringing dignity and happiness to my loved one’s life is success for me. I’m like that and at my age it is unlikely to change.

  9. To me, success is not something I can pinpoint. It is the state of my mind that forms a large part of my success. Coz, there have been times wen I have done well and still been hollow, and at times, did nothing or was going thru tough times, but still experienced inner peace and strength.
    I mean, sometime, wordly success can be empty and a failure enriching and graceful.

    For me, real success is wen my happiness is not dependent on the situations or incidents or a person or an outcome. Still, if I have to think of success, then it’s a mix of happiness, contentment, gratitude and generosity, though again, not defined this specifically. It’s no one big moment, “yes I am successful”. It’s an everyday feeling, tat yes, my life is what it was meant to be. My Life is me, my signature life.

  10. Wow, I’m amazed Marilyn wrote that because as someone above said, she had a crazy and unstable life. I guess the “lovers come and go” part because she really had dysfunctional relationships with a lot of men. I also believe that friends first, lovers later. If your lovers happen to be your friends, that’s different. They aren’t always. Marilyn ended up killing herself so I guess her own self-belief wore out 😦

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