Chaddi solidarity

Thought long and hard before writing this one and finally said, what the heck, let’s overshare as usual.
I noticed over the last few days that the ten year old daughter had begun to wear shorts under a short-ish dress. She’s outgrown it, but it’s a thin, cool, comfortable cotton slip – perfect for these awful summers.
I wondered if it was an attack of modesty and asked her about it. It seems her 12 year old brother had been teasing her about the dress flying up and her undies being on show. I let it pass without interfering in the sibling relationship, until I realised she was wearing it everyday, and that it could no longer be dismissed as a joke or a sibling thing.
My son is being raised by a mother who thinks hijabs and veils, and the policing of women’s bodies and chastity culture are the devil’s own idea (smash the patriarchy, yo!), so this is just unacceptable.
A casual chat with him and I realised he didn’t actually have a real issue, and wasn’t playing protective, patriarchal elder brother. He’s actually more of a feminist than his sister. He was simply playing annoying sibling. Very pleased to have found something to annoy his sister about.
It wasn’t his attitude I was worried about, it was hers. I didn’t want her to lose the safe space of home, covering up even when there was just family around. Choosing modesty over comfort.
So I did the only thing I could. I took off my jeans, and sat down by her side. Just. Chaddi solidarity, sistah. The son gaped. The daughter began to giggle.
I swim with them, so they’re used to seeing me in swimwear, which is much less clothing than the tee shirt and undies I was in. It wasn’t the sight of undies that was supposed to horrify him. It was the reminder that mama is also a girl, and she feels hot too, and has every right to be comfortable in her own home without anyone commenting on it, even as a joke.
The maid who realised what was happening, was in splits. The daughter smiled widely, and took off her shorts. And the son conceded that it was unfair to tease someone and make them self conscious, specially in a world where women are constantly being told to cover up to make others feel comfortable. That it might be a joke in this case, but in the real world, society and men, force women to cover up.
In case you feel strongly about how traumatised he might be, I’ll send you my bank account number. You can donate some money towards his therapy at a later stage.

Advertisements

12 thoughts on “Chaddi solidarity

  1. Yo cool momma! You truly practice what you preach. πŸ™‚

    Are you ready to be a teen-mom yet? 4 days left, right?

    PS: You and the Mad Family have been missed ❀ . Hope all is well in your world!

      • OOOOO yes! 2005-2017 would make hikm 12; Ugh, my math is so rusted !

        Here is wishing the BRAT a Very Happy B’day ! Wishing him another year of adventure, fun, love, Good Health and Happiness! God Bless πŸ™‚

  2. So good to see your post MM! As usual, I loved it!
    Chaddi teasing happens at my home also (between the siblings). I find it quite annoying.

    • I try not to get too politically correct. People tease about a sibling found in the garbage can/adopted. Chaddis on show. And so on. None of it is malicious, but if you see if begin to affect the other child, then you’re forced to step in. 😦

  3. This. I want to share this with everyone who advises girls to sit with their legs closed or goes ‘shame shame’ when my toddler runs around without undies.

  4. Wow! So its been 12 years since I’ve been following your posts. Out here in North America – come summer girls are in tank tops and the teeniest of shorts. Of course some desi moms are aghast especially the FOBs!

And in your opinion....

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s