Going, going, gone

At 5.50 am the platform was crowded with parents looking sleep-deprived and hurriedly dressed. The two coaches were buzzing with activity as teachers took attendance.
The other passengers looked like it might be better to disembark and try another day.
The kids had been seated for a while but all of us parents in one accord, chose to stand there until the train left. The huge train windows framed each tableau. We parents were left standing outside, viewing our children’s lives as outsiders. Not participants in this scene. Just audience.
A couple of kids were struggling to help their pal heft his suitcase to another place. Others were trying out their new cameras. They hung over the backs of the seats, not getting enough of each other, talking to their partners, talking across rows.The tuck boxes were already opened and being passed around. A few suddenly realised what they’d signed up for and the tears began to roll.
I nervously checked to see if the Brat was one of them but he was waving his arms around excitedly relating something to his friends, in his element – travel is something he craves.
We shifted from foot to foot, tired, the excitement finally getting to our older bones. And then the train jerked to life and we all snapped to attention, eyes seeking out our children.
And in that very same second all the kids dropped everything they were doing and turned to the windows I have no idea what anyone else did at that time, but I had my eyes trained on the Brat’s face and was waiting for him to spot me. I saw the panic in his eyes as his eyes scanned the crowds for me- his hand froze in a half wave and he looked – bereft. It had finally hit home – he was going away without mama.
Right now it seems like if i live to be a hundred, I’ll never forget that moment, that expression. And I’m sorry it’s the one I came home with.

I can’t wait to see the look when he spots mama on the station waiting to pick him up. It happens to be our 13th wedding anniversary, but somehow that fades in comparison to the anticipation of picking up my big boy!

PS: Two posts in a day -whoulda thunk it!

13 thoughts on “Going, going, gone

  1. Hugs MM !
    Please do update us once he is back from the trip.
    Happy 13th Anniversary MM !
    It’s been so long that we didn’t have Bean Tales. Can I request for one please??

  2. Awww! i always find myself going To n Fro between feeling proud and insecure when my boys are headed off w/o looking back at me at daycare or when friends stop by.

    Is that a feeling that will ever go away?

  3. Awww! Parenting is always scuttling to and fro between letting your child find their roots and trying to give them wings, I read somewhere, and that is what your posts remind me of. 🙂
    Can’t wait for these experiences with my darling Bubboo, though she is just 1-1/2 now.

  4. Nostaligia brought me here, and hey there are two wonderful new posts!
    I think I used to be a silent stalker. Hello, I’m Sonam 🙂

  5. We give them wings and nervously tie messages of love and support to their scrawny feet. With generous smiles and frightened eyes, they dust their feathers and disappear into the flock. They can still smell the spices in our chai as we wait by the window.

    Ah, I ramble. What I really came to say is — Happy birthday Brat! Wishing you wonderful stories and friendships that exude the warmth of campfire.

  6. Dear MM,

    My best wishes to Brat on his birthday!!! How was his trip? Did he enjoy ?

    happy belated anniversary too !

    with lots of love and wishes

  7. Happy 13th to you and the OA, MM! I actually cried as I read the part about when the train began to move. Do you have to write so well that we ‘feel’ things we don’t know how to feel, you mean woman?

  8. Dear MM ! i tried not to nag..but you have been gone for too long! How about a Hello , we are doing well post?

    You have been missed, if that isnt obvious from the above request.

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