On kickers and talkers

Caught a late, late night show of Queen after the babies went to bed. I’m jinxed where movies are concerned. I always, always, ALWAYS have a kicker sitting behind me. I understand long-legged men find the space a little inadequate but I’m married to a long-legged man myself and he’s very careful about not inconveniencing other viewers.

Last night when the kicking began I turned around and requested the woman behind me to stop. She was one of a huge group and they chattered loudly through the movie but I let it pass. It was better than the idiots who bring cranky kids to late night films or the louts who have to take phone calls, mid-film.

But she wouldn’t stop kicking. I turned around and glared at her this time. She ignored me. And kept kicking, like a spoilt 4 year old.

By this time the interval was over and they’d passed in and out carrying food and bumping into our entire row and rocking it, with what must have been insanely huge butts if the shockwaves were anything to go by. The woman next to me began to complain, but most of us were just too decent to get into an all out fight.

The movie began and the kicking started again.

I stood up, arms akimbo, my shawl hanging on either side. For all practical purposes, creating a screen in front of her. The entire lot of them went silent and began whispering (oh, now they could whisper?!), wondering what was wrong with me.

The OA took one look at me, grinned and kept watching the movie.

I stood there and held it for all of about three minutes and the woman behind me stayed mum. She knew why I was doing it.

Then I turned around, bent towards her and said – I can’t help it. You’re not allowing me to sit in peace, so I’m forced to stand.

She had the grace to look uncomfortable but not the decency to apologise.

I sat down and enjoyed the rest of my movie in peace.

Sharing so that you can try this in future. Carry a stole or a dupatta to make it more effective and annoying.

——————-

I had the pleasure of catching both Queen and Highway in the last couple of weeks.

I was a little undecided over Highway. Yes, Randeep Hooda is toe curlingly hot and admittedly I have no experience in being kidnapped, but it just didn’t seem plausible. This insanely rich girl and the hired goon from the class they depicted him as coming from. Just didn’t fit. I found the second half dragged a little. The music was decent. And I was thrilled that they touched upon Child Sexual Abuse, a topic close to my heart. I just wish there had been a little more closure over that than they chose to give. On the other hand, that is exactly how it is in real life. You tell you family, you imagine a big scene. They stay quiet and the next day its like nothing happened.

Queen was good too. It’s just that Kangana’s voice and diction drive me nails-on-a-chalkboard-crazy.

I find it interesting that we’re finally doing films that show that a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. Two films where the girls are oppressed unwittingly. Can’t take a late night drive, can’t go for dinner without a brother, can’t burp, can’t breathe in peace. I loved that they used the travel metaphor to set them free. To be themselves. I loved that they ended the film single and strong.

The OA and I got into the usual art imitating life conversation and looped it endlessly.

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20 thoughts on “On kickers and talkers

  1. You’ve sold both movies to me, MM.

    And LOL over the antarpaat. That is what we call the sheet of cloth between a bride and groom at the wedding, before the garlands are exchanged. Brilliant idea!

  2. What do you do with people who comment through an entire movie! I had to watch American Hustle while a group of teenagers talked incessantly couple of rows away. I shouted, another couple begged, my husband complained to the staff…. The staff came over and stood next to them for like 10-15min. As soon as they left the chatting continued. I did contemplate blocking the view for them…but I couldn’t have done it without inconveniencing a lot of other people. Anyway…kudos to you!

    By the way, I’m also a kicker-magnet. But usually raising my voice solves the problem (asking politely never helped me!).

  3. Ro just ranted on her blog about movie-goers who bring noisy babies along, to late night shows no less. So Im not going to repeat my comment here to tell you what I have started doing. You’re right, asking politely and expecting common sense is pointless..

    I loved Queen and Highway for all the same reasons. Im so glad that in a country where the norm for every woman is to watch her back, be seen but not heard and the like, we’re finally talking about the sliver of women who break those boundaries. I liked Queen more than I did Highway, though. It wasnt so much the plausibility of the situation but, I felt like the CSA issue was bunged in just as a last minute excuse for her being this social misfit given her elite upbringing. It just wasnt dealt with the way I felt it should have — closure like you said, was missing. Even though I didn’t like that they (SPOILER ALERT) —- killed him, I liked that it didn’t end in a happily ever after with the hero and heroine united walking into a sunset.

    Damn, I really need to do a movie post. i’ve watched far too many in recent time.

  4. Lol.. good thinking there MM. I’m always at a loss at handling at the kickers! Loved the OA’s reaction. :-). Dying to watch Queen – the verdict has been unanimous.

  5. I kept waiting for Anna to grow up a bit so we could leave her and go and watch movies but then we had another one. One more round of waiting. Sigh. I’ve heard so much about both movies and really dying to watch them now.
    And I loved what you did to the creep sitting behind you. Hope it taught her a lesson.

  6. It’s a major put off when people start kicking, whispering and flashing fone lights..where the movie etiquette, I wonder? laud your courage for standing up to them and they need a lesson for watching movie and letting others enjoy. I just sit on ma seat, cursing them or, for that matter, change ma seat…Nowadays, film makers are coming up with refreshing topics which is a blessing for cinegoers like us, looking for varied and different topic. It feels great to be a new age Hindi cinema audience. By the way, I am working on a topic, Kela Awards…any suggestions to ask someone qs for a fun interview chat?

  7. Loved Highway and Queen. Hated Shaadi Ke Side Effects.

    To me Highway was not about kidnapping or the plausibility of Veera and Mahabir living happily ever after. To me it was about just one thing – FREEDOM…at many levels. As a victim of CSA and as someone raring to run away from it all (not because of CSA!;) from time to time, I lived through that movie. I didn’t think the issue of CSA was awkwardly placed. In fact, Veera’s character hid from the police because she felt secure with a stranger. Many dialogues in that movie spoke to me and I couldn’t control myself in the last scene. How much I wish I could do something like that!
    Now when my mom calls me up and asks me to be safe when I go out, I get this urge to tell her, “You couldn’t save me from your brother, when all of you were sleeping in the next room. So why bother now!”
    But I don’t. I don’t want to hurt her!

  8. I found Queen a very good movie that the Indian filmmakers have made in a very long time.There were some truly funny scenes. The one in which she gets up on the bar to dance, flings her sweater and then keeps it in the bag, that was truly hilarious! I loved the fact that she didn’t had to fall in love with somebody else to have the courage to end her engagement to the hero (or anti-hero!) She traveled and discovered herself, that was nicely shown! They could have maybe shortened the movie a little, but nevertheless, a good watch.

    And highway, loved Rehman’s music. I understand when you say that it is not very plausible. But then the movie was very brilliantly done. She has acted so much better in the movie. And he was so so good. I thought that there was silence, but then there was peace too.

    Oh, loved the way you handled the kicker. That was quick-witted and brave, and when I imagine that in my mind’s eye, extremely funny! πŸ™‚

  9. Thanks for sharing that incident πŸ˜€ Will definitely try it out if I run into some kickers! That must have been a sight… you standing there in all glory…er…fury…arms akimbo! :mrgreen:

    Watched Highway, yet to watch Queen. Need to catch it soon.

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