This Valentine’s Day

… let’s talk about love – everybody’s right to love. If there’s one thing I’ve heard over the years, it is – how do I explain homosexuality to my kids. I might have asked that question years ago on this blog too. I think I have some answers now. And for all the years that I asked that stupid question, I have a lifetime to make up for it.




My darling babies,

A while ago we were sitting on the carpet, sorting out laundry, pairing socks, folding t-shirts. The warm winter sun shone through the house, casting a golden glow on everything it touched. It is in mundane moments like these, that the big questions are asked by little voices.

And you, my little girl, asked, “Mama, why does your profile picture on Facebook have an image of 377 with a big red cross over it?”


Read the rest of the postΒ on yowoto.Β 

26 thoughts on “This Valentine’s Day

  1. ” A child can wrap his mind around the right to love freely, but adults find this hard to accept?”
    Had a similar conversation with my daughter some time back.
    ” Amma, India free country thaane? ( Isn’t India a free country?) Then why are they not free to marry anyone?”

    Sharing this on FB

  2. So agree with making it part of life early for the babies to internalize this. True freedom lies in choice. Its amazing the clarity kids can give us, only if we choose to go down that path with them and allow them to teach us.

  3. This is so beautiful MM. And I need to show this to my dad, who is raving mad at a cousin who dared to come out in the open!!!

    • I’m sorry to hear that. I understand the older generation is having trouble dealing with homosexuality. The only thing I can say is that it means we have to stand up for the community and be stronger, for their sake.

  4. Mad Momma..think im here first time n loove the beautiful post bout love and making love:) Very well explained and high time for people to com in the open and declare their love. A fab Valentine post:)

  5. Been a long long time reader of your blogs ( delurks once in a while when something really touches my heart)… from the time brat was a baby…… and would say today.. you have two lovely sensitive children, with their heart in the right place and head screwed the right way… and kudos to you and OA for shaping them…. Kids have no preconcieved notions .. its us adults that fill their head with our prejudices and insecurities….

  6. This is EXACTLY how I would have had the conversation with my kids if I had any. Goosebumps (at the simplicity of it all), misty eyes, and loads of love. (Hugs)

  7. About the last paragraph in your post – my husband and I are usually on the same page when it comes to things on which we must have an opinion (religion, children and same-sex relationships, to name a few) and usually find ourselves swimming against the current, together. A parent’s duty is to inform/guide the child and let the child take his/her own decisions. I like how you talk to your kids. This is *EXACTLY* how my parents brought us up and I constantly strive to bring up my son.

  8. ” A child can wrap his mind around the right to love freely, but adults find this hard to accept?” That’s the big lesson in a nutshell :).
    When I was 12 or so, I learned about gay love through several personal stories on Oprah.And I think, the earlier you understand it without any prejudices, the easier it is to embrace it wholeheartedly.

  9. I strongly feel this letter should be framed and shared as the standard explanation for human rights for ages 6 to growthefuckup. How come you never worked with kiddos, girl? You could be a consulting sexuality and justice advisor to schools!

  10. Hi mm, on a slightly different note…regarding how much one should tell at what age…
    We were at this annual dance recital by a dance academy in mumbai last week. They have little kids between 3-5 upto mommies wanting to lose weight. And all were showing their skills. The audience was filled with friends and families, that included many kids. The finale of the show was a near realistic piece on Nirbhaya.three guys pouncing on a woman, dupatta getting thrown, shrieks and even the part where they inserted the rod…it was all in dim lights on stage and after the first minute my legs were shaking, it looked that real. I cd not believe my 4yr old nephew and many his age, my young daughter and niece all were watching this. They didnt announce before the performance, no warning of what was to come. I ran out wanting to find an organiser and interrupt it, i resisted the urge to stand up and pause it to let the kids leave, i shud hv walked away with our kids, but was so upset/ taken aback that i went looking for an organiser. By the time i found one the ppiece had ended.
    And all the choreographer/ organisers said was soooo sorry it was not intentional, infact it was in the script to ask the 12 and under kids to leave but the MC forgot ….they had made sure their little performers had been ushered out…they forgot to tell the rest of the audience to do the same….my son and daughter are aware of what happened in delhi and when they heard some details at school the little one cd not sleep for a few nights. After the show, it was the same story she could not get the image of the rod being inserted in the victims vagina out of her mind and found her way to our bed that night.

    What should one do in such circumstances? It was damage done,so other than angrily spluttering and saying ‘this is not done’, i could do nothing. They were proud that the performance had such an impact that it shook me up. But i still am upset that we have people who are so irresposible…in order to ‘sensitise’ people they chose to ignore being sensitive themselves! In fact another proof of idiocy was a narrative for a rati- kama ballet, where a ‘Kama’ spouts these erotic lines in describing Ratis beauty and his lust for her….again with an underage audience!!!!

    My 4yr old nephews take : he was watching the rape being portrayed on stage and asked : what are they doing, robbing her? His mother could not come up with a response, stunned as she was, and said, Auntie has gone to find out. Round eyed he turns and says : why did she go, what if they rob her too! He was assured that auntie had her cell phone and wd call if there was trouble”
    What do u think? What would u do? Is it ok to expose kids to such violent stuff? What does one do in such a situation? Am i overreacting? I thot it was my right to decide how much and how my kids should be introduced to such things.

    Sorry this should have been an email. Feel free to not publish it. But i wd like to hear your take on it, by email if not here.

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