Six years of Her Beanness

And I use the term Her Beanness, advisedly, because she’s quite a diva now. She likes the spotlight, she loves attention and she plays to the gallery. I worry at times that this might just hamper her becoming the person she could. That she’ll be too busy entertaining, to take off the makeup and get back to reality. But I guess that is just a mother worrying about something for lack of something truly worrisome.

This year she goes to big school, to class one. And I can’t help but feel bereft. My last little baby will spend longer hours in school, freeing up a chunk of my day. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what this will mean to me, but as of now, I have no plans to join the rat race and run with the other rodents. I still want to be home when they both get back from school and I don’t know anyone who will give me those working hours.

I worry yes, more so, because she’s a little girl in a violent world. I worry because she’s trusting – having a full time mother who never leaves her with strangers has given her no reason to suspect others. And that just makes it harder for her as well as for me. She’s full of beans (I know, I chose the nick well!) and has developed a grace it’s hard to capture in words. Slim, muscled limbs that only look skinny and fragile until she throws herself backwards over a couch or nimbly springs up atop a wall and floats across it. The little child who kept tripping over her feet, running into walls and tripping over her own feet, did a 180 in the last year as she gained muscle control. She’s skipping like a pro, learned to cycle on two wheels in a day and can hoola with the best. I watch the supreme control she has over each muscle, the determination to get it right and the willingness to keep at it, and I admire it in one so young.

Her hair is a mess. It’s like mine. Flyaway, brown, fine, unimpressive. She has beautiful, expressive huge eyes though and they take up a third of her face and dominate every conversation. She doesn’t need them really. She could close her eyes and still have people hanging on her every word. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, definitely, obsessive, realisation, determination, she rattles off the biggest words with ease, spends hours painting and crafting, but still refuses to pick up a book and read.

Earlier this evening we were wrapping up the return gifts for her birthday party and a friend dropped by to help me with the task. I mentioned to her that the Bean’s not reading yet.

The Bean smiled, flashing a missing tooth and said,’Yes Aunty, I don’t know the difference between B and D, or W and M.’

She then proceeded to pick up the gifts I’d packed and read the names on the gift tags out aloud.

That’s the Bean for you. Brings me to the edge of despair and then carelessly throws me a crumb.

Time’s a-flying and the tiny little burnt baby is a human with a personality to rival any adult’s. I watch her slip through my fingers, light as sand, delicate as foam, strong as silken thread.

Welcome to year 6, Bean. Your father says this is just the first 6. The other 66 will appear in time and you will come into your true form.

As for me… When I grow up, I want to be like you.

I leave you with some Beanisms – haven’t had the time to put them all down here yet.

—————

Me: Bean! Did you take my lip balm?

Bean: NO! I NEVER take your balm.

Me: Really?

Bean: Okay, sometimes I do.

Me: Uh huh?

Bean: Okay I do it all the time, but not today.

Right.

———–

Bean to her: Well, why don’t we spend the morning painting on tee shirts? That is what I’m currently obsessing over.

Don’t believe me. Go over to her blog and ask her. After all she only flew down to spend the weekend with the Bean and all they did was talk about elephants.

———–

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27 thoughts on “Six years of Her Beanness

  1. Happy Birthday Bean….6 is a milestone year. At 6 i pretended DD was still my baby and she let me do that. In the next 2 years, she came into her own and now there are times when i feel we’ve reversed roles. 6 is a precious, precious year, a year which, if I had all over again, i would bundle up and store safely in a cupboard perfumed by lavender and cocooned in wool. God Bless Beansie baby, stay innocent, stay strong. May you love and be loved more and more everyday.

  2. Trunk-loads of happinesses to your little woman. She’s every girl I’ve always wanted to be. I wish your slipping, shining sand much love and excitement as she takes a dip into the ocean of adventure out there.

  3. Oh, Happy Birthday to Her Beanness…errr…Bean!

    And you, Momma, i understand so well about how you feel to find her slipping through your fingers. Hugs.

  4. My daughter Mimi reminds me of the Bean. So feisty, so determined, such strong personalities. And my son, her older brother is probably like the Brat, a gentler soul, a little scared of the dark, ready to give way. Is this the new 21st C big brother-little sister iteration?

  5. And when asked what “obsessing” meant, she gave me that missing-toothwala smile and a nonchalant shrug as if to say its-a-big-word-i-heard-and-felt-like-using.

    And FYI, I flew down to meet the Brat AND the Bean. And they did not disappoint, one bit 😛 Her with her energetic, non stop chatter and intelligent entertainment. And him, always with his pencil in one hand, lost in thoughts about, I dunno, dinosaurs coming back to save the world, maybe?

    A big big squoosh to them both and an elephantine one, all the way from Goa for the birthday girl. I’m sure the theme party will be fabulous xoxx

  6. This child makes me yearn for a baby, way more than any other child ever has! Despite all her seeming wordly wisdom, she is still such a baby – Rev and I have spoken about her almost every day since we got back. She’s such a warm, happy, trusting child – I hope the world is always good to her and she never loses her sense of wonder and excitement. I am waiting for another chance to come and do some ‘creative things and artwork’ with her. What fun 🙂
    Lots of love to her.

  7. Her Beanness is right! But that second last pic is bittersweet… she’s all stretched out and big-girl looking in that one… I miss the bug-eyed cherub pic!

  8. Hi MM, i can relate to everything you said about your little princess:) .My doll will turn six this April. Wishing Bean a very very happywala b’day. God bless.

  9. A big hug to the Beanie and Congratulations to you and OA! .I wish our kids could spend some more time together.The Bean sounds just like R who is also spirited,feisty and a firebrand.Yes,nothing can replace the feeling of receiving your kids when they return home from school and listening to their tales for the day.As the session ended for the kids today , I had the same feeling of sand slipping through my fingers as R enters formal school from playschool and J goes up one more grade.How we wish time would stop!

  10. Happy Birthday to Bean! She is just 6 months from my little one and the resemblances are uncanny. I can totally relate. Glad you are savoring every bit of them. They grow up too fast!

  11. Beany Baby is SIX??! Wasn’t she just a tiny baby yesterday?! :O :O How time flies!!! Happiest of Happy birthdays to darling Bean! 🙂 She already is amazingly awesome!

  12. All the best to the little Ms. Beany for the big school. I am sure you will love yourself to have captured the emotion of her growing up so well. All the best mommy

  13. It seems to be that your daughter is a beautiful treasure of an artist that is going to need some extra encouragement with academics even though she has what it takes to succeed. Much luck with parenting her through her school years and I hope she has many teachers who can appreciate her saucy, artistic smarty-pants!

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