Sweet heart

It’s a nice crisp  morning-after-a-night-of-rain and we decide to drop the kids to school and then go to our favourite park for a jog instead of the OA hitting the gym and me the pool. Breakfast at a lovely little organic cafe, Roots and then home to dress and rush to work, is the plan. And so we head out to school.

The windows are rolled down and the kids are clowning around. The Bean’s hair is flying in the breeze and she’s pretending to be a pup and barking at other cars. The Brat is cheering her on and squealing with laughter. The breeze has blown our papers all over the place, the kids have had a pillow fight with the two cushions in the backseat, the OA and I are in tattered shorts and tees and sneakers and we’re dancing to whatever RJ Sarthak is subjecting us to. This car is a far cry from peaceful.

Just then the Brat sees his classmate in the car next to ours and waves excitedly. The other child is sitting quietly in a chauffeur driven car with his older, neatly groomed, dressed-for-office father reading the newspaper. Peace and calm reign in their car.

The Brat gestures to the other child who begs his father to let him roll the window down. The Brat then calls out, “Yours is a really cool racing car. You’re going to come first – yayy! I’ll see you in school.”

The OA smiles, “Only our son would tell another boy that he has the better car! He never feels the need to sound cooler or better, does he?”

I nod and smile back. That is our Brat. And we’re making our peace with our non-competitive child who will give visiting kids his cycle, share his Beyblades, offer you the better piece of cake and forgive you for punching him in about ten minutes.

A few days ago they went for a birthday party. The kids were mostly older and it was time for the pinata. The Bean usually gets stamped on and pushed out of the way, emerging from under the pile of kids with only a handful of sparkle. The Brat usually wanders around on the periphery, uninterested in the proceedings. I was surprised to see him dive in this time and emerge triumphant. In his hand, other than a few odds and ends was a pink sparkly pencil sharpener in the shape of a PC mouse.

Clutching it tight he came to his sister – I got this for you because I knew you wouldn’t be able to get anything out of there. Ma ka dil and all that jazz, I blinked back tears and looked away. Unwilling to bear witness to this sort of honest love. The Bean held up a bag – she’d already got herself a bag of loot!

The OA and I took one look at each other and burst out laughing. Clearly our little Monster no longer needs to be looked out for. Although I still felt bad that the Brat dived in there only to get something out for her and nothing much for himself.

Oh well… everyday in little ways we learn something about them. And almost everyday, what I learn about the Brat, breaks my heart just a little bit.


49 thoughts on “Sweet heart

  1. Not to worry re MM!! You know better than me, what Brat will have to face later in life, but I too have seen/known/experienced a bit of all that. And trust me, it makes you much more stronger than the rest. Yeah, at times, you do feel ki kaash there were more people to understand what you so clearly see, ignore the trivial stuff and go for what really matters…but the happiness that comes from just being there for everyone, making someone feel the love, knowing that only you can make someone’s day…is a high, higher than most! And given a choice, even after he has faced the bad ugly world, he would want to be himself all over again 🙂

    Can I say he has my blessings? 🙂 And loaaaads of heartfelt love. Thats all that matters, really!

  2. Please give me tips- on what books u read, what music u listened to and what movies u saw-while u were pregnant with Brat!! fast-just two more months left and i will die if the second one is a copy of the first one…

    • Because he is really such a gentle child, so easily hurt, so easily affected, so quick to help, to care – its not easy being that person. right now I shelter him. Someday he’s going to be on his own. I am sure the Bean will take everything the world throws at her and aim it right back. My son on the other hand…..

  3. he IS a sweetheart. and he’ll be fine (saying this from experience). sending you a link of a related post.

  4. The Brat is a shona, shona, shona darling. So is the Bean…. God bless them both! 🙂 Don’t you worry, MM! Both will do very well for themsevles with the kind of values they are already demonstrating….. Muah to both kiddos!

  5. I want to put him in a cocoon and protect his heart from the big bad world.. Lovely child that you have there..

  6. actually what you learn about your brat should mend your heart, a little bit, no?

    p.s. hey. why arent your posts being shown on google reader?

    • umm… you want to ask me technical questions? You might as well be speaking Greek.
      And no, what I learn about the Brat always shakes me up a little more because he seems so ill equipped to deal with the real world and the highly competitive people I see out there.

  7. MM, the Brat is such a wonderful little boy. He will grow up to be an amazing person.

    He reminds me so much of my cousin – who was the most generous, kind-hearted, honest little boy I ever knew. And for some reason, his naivete and his generosity always made me worry for him, though I was just two years older than him. But he turned out fine, able to take care of himself, able to brush off the rest of the world, and in general happy with his own little world. So don’t worry about the Brat – he will turn out to be a man you are going to be very proud of!

  8. Is he even real. How sweet and amazing he is ( i cannot bring myself to call him a brat. with every post providing more evidence of his awesomeness).

    Now if only someone would pass a little of this to my son. Oh, the shame. He’ll fight his little sister for things.

  9. He is such a sweet heart. I have never seen a kid saying ..’Yayy, you will reach first’.
    When I read these kind of posts on sibling love, I get tempted to go for a secnd kid 🙂

    • I hope so. Yesterday we were at a restaurant and the OA was teasing the Brat about another missing tooth and she climbed on to her father, made fists of her little hands and put her nose on the OA’s nose and menacingly bit out – Don’t.Make.Fun.Of.My.Brother.

      We were too shocked to laugh anymore.

  10. He sure is a sweet heart. See he’ll do better than the ones in the rat-race. He’ll be much comfortable with himself and be happy. He’ll have the last laugh. You just wait and see.

  11. I have never said this to anyone: you are truly blessed to have a son like the Brat. (I cried reading this post: does the world deserve someone like him? I’m scared, very scared.)

  12. Awww………. what an Angel!He’s truly one of a kind,bless his generous heart.
    As for the Bean she compliments him beautifully.This one’s going to be one protective little (BIG) sister to her brother in the near future, mark my words.

  13. Oh he is a sweetheart, and don’t worry, he will take care of himself alright 🙂 kids are survivors, and they will adapt to circumstances just fine.

    • I know, I know…people say that. And I am proud of him for being the person he is. But I’ve seen so many good people fall by the wayside that I worry. Kya karein.. ma ka dil hai 😉

  14. the brat sounds like a breath of fresh air! the world needs more subdued, sensitive, totally lovable kids like that! he’s the yin to the bean’s yang, what say you?

  15. Oh he’s such a heart-breaker! *Sigh*

    I think I’ve said it on one of your earlier posts (before I had a blog of my own) but I’ll say it again: the Brat reminds me of myself when I was a kid, to some extent. I was less gentle and giving, but still too gentle for the rest of the world. Easily taken advantage of, easily manipulated by playing on my emotions. And my brother (or parents when they were around) had to protect me. It changed when I went away for undergrad. I wasn’t even conscious of it at the time…..something about being at the other end of the country from EVERYONE you’d ever known. For my first vacation from college, I came back home a version of the Bean.

    For the record, though, I am still the same person in a lot of ways. The only difference is you have to know me REALLY well to take advantage of me. It’s not easy….you have to be really good at it. Most people wouldn’t dare because they know I’d give back as good as I get. My parents are STILL scared, most of the time. They know I can take care of myself, but the once-in-a-while occurrences still leave them shaken.

    I know it’ll break your heart even more to just let him be on his own, and let him get hurt a little, but there’s nothing like it to learn how to protect yourself. You still have lots of time before you let it happen, though. Yes, there is the child’s inherent nature, but there is also the circumstance. The synergies. So it’s easy for the Brat to become more of the Brat because he has the Bean as his sibling, and the Bean more of the Bean.

    It’s all a learning curve — he’ll learn how to protect himself while other people are learning how to be more gentle, forgiving, kind, less-competitive. Some of them never will. Their loss.

    It’s still only a LAYER, though……I don’t know if you can change the core of who you are, ever. And there’s no dearth of parasites who only know how to feed off of other people. You can only spend so much time and effort perfecting your detection mechanism. Lyfe! (I don’t even know what my point is, any more!)

    I wish your sweetheart a far, far easier teenage than mine!

  16. You know MM, I could so relate to this post! My 6 year old daughter is exactly like this! most of the kids in the neighbourhood bully her and take advantage of her niceness, she happilly shares her toys, her color pencils everything, however, the other kids just take and don’t bother to invite her over. Once she heard about a homeless family on radio and she said, mommy, we have such a big house, we can easily take care of them na? She actually wanted me to reach out to the family and have them over. It breaks my heart too to see that she is so gentle and nice, I don’t ever want to see her hurt. Everytime I read a post on Brat like this one, I can’t help but think of my own child who is so similar. I enrolled her in taekwondo, she is doing very well touchwood. This will help her defend against bullies. God bless Brat.

  17. I am married to a man like this…and on most days it makes me love him even more, on some it makes me want to stick a knife into every single leech he comes in contact with and on some it makes me want to shake him and rattle him so hard asking how can you let this happen to you again?

    Its not an easy life by any means…Our worlds have become very competitive and our society is structured in such a way that I think there are traits which are expected of men- and gentleness and kindness of spirit no longer fit in any of the lists anymore!

    God bless him and I hope he has an easy time growing up…

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