This and that

It’s raining and the Brat is quietly looking out. Rain in the hills is always awe-inspiring. I ask him what is fascinating him and he says in an awed voice – The lightning scribbles.

After a while the Bean points out that it is no longer raining. Merely ‘grizzling’.

Dear God, please don’t let anyone correct them.


The Bean calls out to me – Mama, would you come and take a look at the size of this spider?!!!

I run down ready to whack the spider with something if she’s scared.

She’s crouched on her haunches, watching it weave a web.

“Shall I whack it?” I ask, brandishing a duster.

No, I want to keep it as a pet, like the fish in the bowl!!

Err.. okay then.

And that ladies and gentlemen is why in my otherwise spotless house we have a spider lazily sipping Long Island Tea.


The Bean draws a picture of the family. Brat, Mama and herself. I look at the family of three and ask – where is Dada?

She looks at me with a don’t-you-know-anything-at-all look on her face.

He’s in your stomach, of course!

Ye Gods and little fishes, I may not be a great teacher, but what the hell are they teaching her in school? Β Or should I just be hitting the gym?


The Brat drags all his toys to my bedroom while I’m working, not really noticing how much he’s bringing in.

Once he’s done, he looks around with genuine concern and disgust and says “Mama! What a mess your room is. Why don’t you tidy it up.”

??! WTF!?


The Brat looks at an old picture of the OA and I Β – “Do we look nice Β ” I ask “This is even before Mama and Dada got married and had babies.”

He shrugs. “You look nice but you don’t look beautiful.”

*horrified gasp” I don’t?

“No, you only look beautiful when you wear nice clothes like sarees and bindis.”

Great – now I have Ekta Kapoor’s emissary living in my house.

Bean chips in, “I think you need to get married again and have some more babies.”

Sure. That’s a plan. So that I lose the last couple of functional joints and my three strands of hair.


31 thoughts on “This and that

  1. Just a very broad smile on my face. My lil one too has started forming sentences and it is the sweetest, most fantastic feeling – almost anything he says is “awww”! Cannot imagine what I will do when they reach thier stage – I am guessing, still “aawww”!

  2. Soooo cute…i can’t stop laughing at Dada being in ur tummy…i am not meeting the bean until i have washboard abs or whatever they are called…and brat dragging his toys into your room..too funny!

  3. Long Island Tea? What if the spider gets drunk, puckers its lips, reaches out and gives the Bean a nice little kiss? πŸ˜›

    Oh and mommy who’s cool enough to go all WTF? I like. πŸ˜€ But, question – when the kids grow up…and are teens and go around frothing with swear words (if that ever happens, because I really can’t imagine the gentle Brat letting out so much as even an abbreviation of profanity wriggle out of his mouth assuming of course we’re able to protect his innocence) …’ll you try to be cool about it since you do it yourself and its no big deal really…or be the quintessential indian mother and glare at your child? My mom and dad hush everything up…sex, love, drinking, bgr, swearing….so its kind of conservative and tacitly illegal…you know? Parenting sort of fascinates me…so just curious. πŸ™‚


    Young person you loathe.

    P.S. I’ve commented just once before on your blog…so doubt you remember πŸ˜› Don’t usually comment.. flock here religiously your writing.)

    • ha ha! young person I do not loathe but wish I was….
      I don’t use cuss words in front of the kids. I only stopped recently. But it’s a great effort. Sometimes they go out of the room and my shoulders sag with the relief of knowing I can throw the f-bomb as far as I like without corrupting young minds.

      That said, they have heard me say oh shit or oh crap in a crisis. And yes I am the quintessential mother who glares at them if they use it because hey, my house, my rules πŸ˜‰ I did a post on this long ago when my kids were too young for this be an issue. I am not one of those good mothers who always lead by example. I try to keep a balance. So they see people smoking and drinking and the rule is simple – we’re adults and we get to do some things that you dont – namely voting, smoking, drinking, driving, holding down jobs and getting married. I could never lead a spotless life just to set an example. That isn’t a good enough reason to give up a bad habit. You should do something only if you believe in it and right now saying WTF feels rather right!

      Will I allow it in my presence when they are teens? unlikely – I dont cuss in front of my parents because its just rude and shows a lack of vocabulary πŸ˜€ but my cussing or not cussing wont stop my kids from picking it up from others – lets see how that goes. If I were to stop to give it some thought I’d say cussing isnt a sin or a crime. there is so much worse that kids could do that I would probably heave a sigh of relief that they just said the f word and didnt actually do it πŸ˜€

      • Hmm…my parents generally dont swear in front of me…but when they do..I find myself disapproving..because if I, as their kid, avoid swearing in front of them out of respect…then I’d expect them to maintain the decorum too, you know? And that respect to not swear in front of them…probably comes out of growing up hearing those things hushed up…non? So I don’t know how that’ll work for you…but glad you stopped. I mean…mummy log toh ekdam sati saavitri hoti hain… gaali galocha thodi karti hain.. πŸ˜› Haha.

        Have you seen the southpark movie? Do watch it sometime if you haven’t.. πŸ˜€

        • I’m going to disagree – as a parent I can’t be living my life only for them (damn, did I destroy the bollywood ma image? ;)) . I adore them. I don’t even work fulltime because I believe they need me around more than anyone else. But my personal habits are something I don’t want to give up and become a changed person altogether. parenthood shouldnt stop you from being who or what you are. I don’t smoke, drink, gamble – this is my only vice!
          I also think its really unfair of kids to always believe that just because they don’t do something, parents shouldn’t do it too. Although this is largely age applicable I guess. My kids are way younger than you so they cant use that logic to play with knives, drive a car or light a matchstick.
          The rest largely depends on your home atmosphere. I’ve grown up in a home where pretty much everyone drinks and many smoke – but I never did pick it up. I dont believe kids only learn from their parents. So much is their own personality.

          • Nahi nahi it’s not like ‘i don’t do it so you don’t do it either’…i the presence of kids…parents should maintain a certain decorum…and vice versa. When they’re not around, by all means throw away your fairy wand and pick up your butcher knives and get back to stirring your cauldron full of dead heads, but not in front of them πŸ˜€
            Kintu theek aache…truce πŸ™‚

            Btw, initially I thought you started this blog as a little log…and once the babies grow up they get to read the whole thing…you do intend to preserve all this right..?

            • yes of course they get to read all this. its good to know your parents for the people they are.
              I think decorum is a slippery slope. i dont understand parents who dont smoke or drink in front of the kids but do it otherwise. if you think its such a bad thing, why do it at all? where does one draw the line in that case? plus what happens when they catch you at it? its such a big betrayal.

  4. Hahaha!!! Mr.Spidey sipping long island tea was just effing hilarious!!

    Precious..absolutely precious post MM.

    Love you for these πŸ˜€

    [And, of course, may God bless those two little kuttis πŸ™‚ ]

    • Mostly English. The Brat started out speaking only Hindi because the OA and I made an effort. Then he joined playschool and they insisted that he speak english. he had a rough time. the bean was born around then and began to pick up english from him. family mostly speaks to them in english to keep it simple. but they speak hindi decently and the bean speaks bengali but the brat refuses to – he understands it all though, so the easiest way to get him to do something is to tell the OA in bengali that “lets leave them behind” and he frantically screams, no no, i’ll do it, dont leave me home!

  5. So cute! I love these posts with the Bratisms and the Beanisms. I’m still laughing at the OA being in your tummy. What in the world does she mean?

  6. Well, Brat & Bean are angels (btw did you notice, Brat & Bean makes Bran…:-D)
    I threatened to jump from the balcony when I was their age. The elders didn’t take me seriously however, otherwise I would have been in Bollywood now.

  7. It is tricky to find you! This is a nice clean new site. There was no link from the old blog on that site- was that on purpose or did I just not find it!?

    Your post made me smile.
    We always talk about ‘unfinished business’- this really fits all house related work. Whether it is gardening or tidying up. Just as soon as it is finished you are ready to start again- especially with the help of kids.

    What are your thoughts on ‘unfinished business’?

    Well, today is a birthday day and tomorrow a day snorkelling with the family on the reef. Hope you have a good weekend.

    • no no.. there were at least 4 links, sorry you didn’t find them. Will do a post on the questions you usually leave me with. always plan to sit and think about it and never end up doing it. apologies!

      • Thanks for the wishes.
        It was my birthday!! πŸ™‚
        We had a lovely tropical night out enjoyed a French meal in a local Cairns restaurant with friends looking after the girls.
        Have a good weekend!

  8. this has nothing with this blog per se, but i just have to tell you this. the other day i was washing utensils (!!!!), and left the tap running for just a wee bit before, very very smoothly, the brats voice came to me.. “waste mat karo didi….” oh man !!! it was such a cute moment. I had to tell you, of course πŸ™‚

    Awesome post as always. Actually, i love the babies so much that when posts on non-babies come along, I cant help but feel a tad bit disappointed.

    Take care πŸ™‚

    • πŸ™‚ that is so cute. you make me feel so happy.So often you have idiots saying – why do you always talk about the environment? here’s why, you idiots!

  9. I *loved* this post. Brat asking you to clean up and Bean’s idea of Dada being in your stomach. Now, you must ask her what that means…. πŸ˜€

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