Love moves mountains

The Mad Sibling, aka Tambi can’t stand the sight of blood. No one else gives it much thought but I joined the dots and I seem to remember a childhood incident triggering it.

My uncle (Chhote Nana) was about 18 and Tambi was probably all of 4. So uncle was in a bike accident and he was carried into our house by some men who found him on the road. His foot was dripping blood all over the wooden floor and I have a very vivid memory of it. He was on the right side of my vision and on the far left, Tambi walked in, took one look at him and began puking all over the floor. It was a scary sight for a 4 year old particularly since it involved a loved one. Me? Apparently I’ve always been hard as nails.

So anyway, while it wasn’t severe enough to prevent him from watching chickens being slaughtered for dinner and running around headless, it was enough to ensure that he never again got involved in anything that required him to see human blood. Years later a cousin came to us for some weeks. He was in our town for college and had a foot injury. Part of the ragging rules required him to be in formals and his foot had festered within the closed shoes to an extent where he needed to take medical leave and leave it open. Everyday I would sit and clean his foot in a basin of warm water, press out the pus, and dress the wound for him. Tambi ran around and did his errands but refused to even be in the same room when I cleaned the wound.

Tambi was dating my SIL when I had the Bean. The OA was with me right through tests, examinations, injections, everything and of course finally even sat through my C-sec and watched the doctors carve me open, put in their hands and pull out a plum, Bean. The OA was held up by the SIL as a shining example of everything a man, husband and father should be (I am wondering how he deals with the pressure)  – although if anyone had bothered to ask me, in true wife style I’d have described to them in great detail, every one of his flaws. He is in fact held up as a shining example all the time, very often by this man’s wife when she wants the curtains changed or the fans cleaned.

Anyhow, Tambi shrugged and told the SIL that he’d do anything that didn’t involve being in hospital. And to be fair, he did – from romantic proposal, to stunning ring engraved with a verse, to surprise romantic getaways. I figured the SIL was running out of luck because you can’t have all the luck on earth you know. And if you can, then where the hell was my romantic proposal and diamond ring, I ask you?!

Now if I’d been the SIL I’d have given him a kick in the pants and told him he had another think coming and he’d jolly well be in the labour room having his fingers crushed to a pulp. But the SIL is a wiser, gentler girl who accepted his failing and moved on. Or perhaps she wisely realised it  wasn’t yet the time or place for that conversation.

Now this might be time for a full disclosure. The SIL too, has a terribly low pain tolerance level and the last time she was in town, she fell ill and needed an injection. The sibling went in with her but was looking so grey that she chased him out and called Ma and me in to be hold her hands.  At that time I remember teasing her and asking her how she’d go through labour pain. She wanted kids and there is no way around that. She paled at the thought and admitted to being absolutely terrified.

By the grace of God when they did plan kids, she had a smooth pregnancy and as the due date neared I was beginning to feel bad for her. To have a husband who is not comfortable in the labour room is not the ideal situation. Being a rather intrepid sort myself, I am usually very dismissive of people who have any sort of fear or phobia. And yet, as his sister and one who has for years seen him react badly to blood and hospital situations, I couldn’t help but want to pat him on the head and say, ‘There, there, baby, I understand.’ Thankfully her parents were going to be there for the delivery and I was very proud of her. I know I’d have not bothered with the OA’s fears or phobias and would have insisted on him coming in with me, dead, comatose or alive and kicking.

So anyway, Tambi was with her through a number of injections and tests but we were all still wondering about labour. When he called to say that she had gone into labour I spent the night praying for her to have the strength to deal with the pain, sending her messages and crying at the thought of how terrifying it must be for her. When it was over I mentally doffed my hat to her and wrote her a note and told her on the phone how proud I was of her. More so because I remembered the terrified girl who only some months ago had asked me to hold her hand through a mere injection.

I am sorry to say, I forgot all about my brother and his phobia of blood. Until this morning. Ma casually mentioned that he cut the baby’s cord. And then it all came back to me. Him rubbing a ball on her back through labour. Holding her hand while she laboured and finally witnessing his son being born. Perhaps I am just a fond sister, but I was so proud of him for putting his own fears aside and going right in there and being with his wife when she needed him.

That long night, both of them conquered their fears. And as they became parents, they also grew just that little bit stronger. Something that will hold them in good stead as parents. I see pictures of the two of them smiling into the camera, protectively holding their son between them and I see two very very strong people. Two young people who are finally worthy of being parents to my beautiful,  bright eyed, alert little nephew. Who, I might tell you, I have fallen deeply in love with. I think he is the most beautiful child on earth and I am considering auctioning off my two children just to buy a one way ticket to see him.

Allow me to present the child we’ve awaited so eagerly …. our little prince. *applause*

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73 thoughts on “Love moves mountains

  1. “And as they became parents, they also grew just that little bit stronger” Love this line…. The baby looks adorable… and aaaah!
    Hoping you can come aroudn soon to hug him@

  2. Good for Thambi! My husband also stepped up to the plate when needed – both times! He’s worse than T when it comes to blood – can’t even stand seeing meat cooking when the blood bubbles up (working in the cafeteria in grad school, cooked chicken breasts on the grill and had to go throw up :))

    I think they just are so besotted with their babies, that it’s fine at the time! 🙂 BTW, were you surprised by how *tough* the cord is? I was – it’s like cutting through a hosepipe! L had to saw away through it!

    M

  3. Truly, perfect love casts out fear!
    Lovely to read of these very real triumphs. God bless them both, and that beautiful bright eyed little baby boy.

  4. Baby button is too cute! Me too, have a low pain tolerance but thank goodness for the epidural. I could have never survived a natural child birth and a pre-mature baby on top of that. Congrats again to all of you.

  5. Congrats!! just tell the parents not to spoil the kid ( it is very easy to do..)

    With our first kid.. it was scary cause he was born very premature (22 weeks of gestation).. so it was more like an accident happening.. me running around to make sure that wife survives (yep.. I was cruel that time).. anyhow.. the time when ‘princes’ was born.. it took my wife about 30 hours (ever since she got admitted) and even the doctors were pissed…. so I went out of the hospital.. went to a bar and had 2 shots.. came back and started giving her headache.. it worked.. and our princess came out crying.. you won’t beleive but the thanks I got from the doctors after that.. I felt like that I delivered..

    About cutting the cord.. man.. that takes some balls.. hats off to him.. out of curisoty.. have they preserved it? It helps in future…

  6. Atleast 3 blog posts on various blogs on babies, 4 people I know who have had babies in the last 2- 3 weeks, a much-awaited baby girl who is on her way, another 22 months- old who has completely stolen my heart – pray, tell me, what is a 27 yr old with no sight of a boy to marry but who is hopelessly in love with all these babies (isn’t it a crime to look this beautiful and cute and cuddly? Just look at this lil Button fellow – one big, completely edible Button, he looks like!), to do? My uterus is doing such crazy flips, I am worried!
    P.S: He looks so much like the Bean in the second pic. Or am I imagining it?

    • no no.. he does look like the brat and the bean. will put up pics of all three of them together.

      wait a while babe. 27 is nothing. atleast you’re seeing life for what it is .. all i’ve done is change diapers 🙂 when i go to heaven that is the only count i will have!

  7. Acho!!cuteness!!! God Bless the button and his family.

    If i collected a dollar for everyone who asks me how i will go thru’ labor when i cry at the sight of an injection, i would be a millionaire. Really. Even i get scared and doubt myself. But the hubby says i’ve been brilliantly supportive of him when he had to give me an injection (and sometimes 2)everyday for over 20 days. He says “You can do it” and I’m going to try beleive him when its time.

  8. Congratulations! He is a real cutie!!! Love those bright curious eyes.

    I was just like your SIL. Would break into a sweat whenever I thought of labor, so I tried not to think of it much in the first few months of pregnancy. And then Baby M made it so much easier for me by coming a month early by emergency c-sec. Then I had no choice or time to get scared – the pain was there, I just had to deal with it!! 🙂

    Your SIL and bro were awfully brave. And they have their prize already! Congratulations to both of them!!!

    • arre everyone breaks into sweat at the thought of labour. dont let any of us fool you. but my SIL was terrified of regular shots and blood tests. stuff that the rest of us don’t even flinch over. which is why I am so proud of her for going through this and never saying a word.

      • LOL! I know what you mean. I guess I didn’t put it right the first time… my mom had to drag me kicking and screaming to the doctor’s for every single injection or blood test I’ve had in my life. And hold my hand through it. And the doctor had to promise it wouldn’t hurt before he could touch me. 😀

        And guess what, during my pregnancy, with no mom around and a husband who couldn’t possibly miss work for an hour twice a week for 6 months (not when we were both working in the same team and the boss was so supportive of my absences) – I took myself chup-chaap to the doctor’s office for my iron infusions twice a week.

        No one around to see my nakhra = no nakhras!!!

  9. long time lurker 🙂
    ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE pics! reminds me of the day when my niece was born. next best thing to becoming a mother (even better,actually. i can spoil her silly without worrying about the consequences :D)
    hope you get to see and hold him before long! much love 🙂

  10. When I saw the photos without reading anything you wrote, my first reaction was, “wow! alert!” 🙂

    Gorgeous little child. May he always be healthy and happy.

    And nope, not looking forward to labor either … whenever it might happen. Like jottingsnmusings says, i guess we’d just deal with it when pain arrives. Until then, we’d pretend labor doesn’t hurt. :p

    Congratulations to the family again. And much power to the parents! for having put their fears aside and for having given birth to a perfect child.

  11. Button seems such an apt name for him. His eyes are just so beautiful and i love the way his hair stands up straight…very cool ishtyle…

    Ummm..what does the auction for the brat and bean start at…off to the bank to count me money!

    • not at all. as it is you need to be brave to be a parent and take on the responsibility for another human being. and my nephew is extra special (obviously!) so not any altu-faltu set of people could have been worthy of such a darling child. and i dont care what they have to say about it. 🙂 in case you have any doubts, they read my blog.

  12. Doesnt he look a wee bit like Bean?Bless the baby Button, he looks so damn cute. And kudos to your Brother and SIL for having been with each other through it all. And he cut the cord?? OMG!! I would’ve fainted.

  13. Aww such an adorable child! 🙂
    Congratulations to your bro and SIL and to you, too. The post left me quite touched, being about conquering fears and all that.

  14. wow! he is sooo cute! such beady alert eyes.. The name Button suits him just right! Congratulations to the proud parents and the doting aunt 🙂

  15. He’s so adorable dear….it takes so much to decide to go through all that pain and fears to produce this lil’ bundle of joy…
    But with all the free floating discussions on epidural, the pain before and after, I just chickened a lil bit more( if that was possible)…I’m a coward like that ( there I said it today)…see and you ask me when why I ask you to gimme one….

  16. Awww… so cute! Maybe love will move the Mad Momma to the US for a visit two. But I know how hard it is to plan a visit when you have young kids yourself. My sis is in the same situation – desperately trying to plan a visit to see me and my little one. Sucks when siblings are separated.

  17. Hey MM,

    Thanks for putting up the pics..the little prince is so adorable.

    My husband was so scared at the thought of being in the labour room that I once asked my doctor if she has ever seen any husband faint during delivery :)) She assured me that everything would be fine. So although my parents were here at that time, my husband let them stay at home and told them that he would take care of everything. I still remember him putting ice-chips in my mouth and saying all the right words though I know that he was way too nervous. But as you say, becoming a parent makes you stronger than you think you could ever be.

    Best,
    AW

  18. MM,
    Congrats on becoming a Mad athai! The Button is such a cutie!!! The blankie that he is snuggled is the exact same one my little one came home in! Does your Thambi and Sil by any chance live in the Midwest?
    If you happen to be in the Midwest, I would so love to meet you. I am almost like a stalker soaking up your blog! 🙂

  19. Congratulations to your sister-in-law, brother and your family. He is quite the alert child, i must say – he looks absolutely lovely. Congratulations, congratulations, congratulations.

  20. Choo cute…. thanks for posting his pics. I am ready to pay for your tickets. When should i come to pick Brat and Bean?

    On a different note, my husband was with me during the labour. And he was singing “Push.. Push” in the same tune as the nurses, without any emotion or regard to the pain I was going through. That was one moment when I felt like kicking him. One incident I clearly remember through all the pain was – My husband was mumbling his “Push Push” chant. Somwhere in between he said “Only two more pushes”. And the only question I asked him was “How do you know it is only 2 when the doctor also does not know that?” The doctors and everyone started laughing out on that.

      • LOL. True! The fact is I was not annoyed when he said “Only two more”. It was basically a no pain phase at that time, so even i was in a mood for humour.

        Thankfully my pregnancy and labour was a pretty easy affair. My labour lasted only 1.5 hrs. Thank god and my son for that (I am not famous for bearing pain)

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