The next time you smile hugely and tell someone that Tambi is ensuring the family name lives on with Baby Button, I WILL TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB and throw the pieces in the Ganges.
I carry as much blood of your blood as your son does (unless Ma knows something she is not telling us) and I look more like you, have your hothead and your easy smile. I am more you than your stupid son is. Right?
This grandson of yours adores you. This granddaughter of yours thinks the sun shines out of your posterior. Their day begins and ends with ‘G’pa says this..’ and ‘G’pa says that…’ They may be on the other end of the complexion scale but that is the only difference I see! They think you, they breathe you, they talk about you, they carry your genes, they worship you. Anything you say, is the Good Word (which is why I told you to stop bullshitting them about the boa constrictor you escaped).
And you – you’ve pressed my feet when I was pregnant, you’ve fed me by hand, you’ve taken me for walks and begged me to lose the baby weight once it was over, you’ve waited outside the OT, your face grey with worry while I delivered each one of them. You held them within ten minutes of their birth and I saw your heart melt. You talk about them to random strangers who don’t give a shit about your grandkids, you let them sit on your office table and play with your phones, I’ve seen you clean the carpet when they poop on it and glare at me when I scold them for it. I see you rock them to sleep at night, I watch you read to them, I’ve seen you risk your neck hanging upside down from a jungle gym to teach them, I notice you bathe and dry them tenderly, I see you plan your trips around a quick visit to Delhi.
We love Baby Button. We all do. BUT HE IS NOT THE ONLY ONE CARRYING ON YOUR FAMILY NAME. BOTH OF THEM CARRY IT and they do you proud. *koff koff* As do I.
So the next time you come up with something disgustingly patriachal and conservative (which is SO not you) I’m going to come home, rip up every bit of paper connecting you and me, delete your number off my phone and take the two of them to a hypnotist to remove every trace of memory they have of their awful old grandfather who has forgotten that they are his blood and his genes too.
Are we clear then?
Your very respectful, gentle, loving, mild daughter,