More Taurean stubbornness

With the househelp  issues in Gurgaon, the OA and I are doing dishes, washing clothes, sweeping, scrubbing kitchen cabinets and what not. All this along with our dayjobs and child rearing and socialising. And this is not a good time for anyone to idiotically mention what they do in the West because I swear I’ll rip you to pieces and feed you to vultures.

As a result we’re short on patience and time and temper. We’re also having a huge problem now that we live in a  complex and kids keep dropping in to play. Toys are scattered all over the nursery and the house. The Brat and Bean are regular babies who scatter toys around the house, yes, but this is unbelievable. So here is question number one, wise internets – How do I tell other children that they have to put back stuff they pull out? Even though they come with maids, they walk away leaving the nursery looking like a battlefield. Is it rude and unhostessly?

Anyway, so while the Brat and Bean are mostly cooperative in putting their toys away unlike most of our little sahibs and memsahibs who are used to maids cleaning up behind them, there are off days too. This morning the OA and I cleaned up the entire house and came back to flop onto our bed, only to realise it was covered with toys. The OA told the kids to clear up and the Brat who was caught deep in prehistoric times, couldn’t snap out of his time warp and get back to 2010.

He refused to take his stuff away in spite of many warnings and finally the OA swept everything into two little baskets and told them it would go into the dustbin if it wasn’t taken back to the nursery. The Bean grabbed one and but the Brat’s legendary Taurean stubbornness struck and he refused to budge. I was loathe to interfere so I just watched. The Bean who was struggling to carry one, tried to take the other too, but the patient OA snapped too.  No – the Brat must carry his share of stuff, failing which it would go in the dustbin. I don’t really blame the OA. I don’t know any other I-bankers in India who work the hours he works and then come back to housework and childcare and tension. This was a situation waiting to explode.

Two minutes of father and son staring each other down and then the OA took the stuff and dumped it in a dustbin. Higgledy piggledy, Bean’s Dora binoculars and a bunch of little elephant pictures too went in. The Bean crying that it was her stuff. The father firm that it didn’t matter. And the Brat watching with teary eyes but refusing to budge. I tried to reason with him, then drag him after his father to rescue the basket, but he stubbornly curled his fingers into little fists and refused to hold the basket. I gave up. He’s walked out of our room. The toys are in the bin and will stay there until the garbage guy comes tomorrow. I wonder whether he’ll bend and come and rescue them or not…


109 thoughts on “More Taurean stubbornness

  1. Oops… bad scene. With the maid away we’re struggling with the same situation. And it’s NOT rude to ask other kids to put away stuff.. let their maids help out too.
    Poor Bean got the worst of it.

  2. I do not at all feel shy of asking the kids who come to play to clean up for two reasons:
    a) I live in the West (sorry 🙂 and have to clean up if the tots don’t and
    b) I strongly feel that the same rules should apply to kids who come over for play dates as to my own kids. If I don’t ask all kids involved to clean up, I can’t ask my own to. They will scream about unfair treatment. So I’ll have to do it all which is undesirable 🙂
    Also, I have noticed that being a bit firm and very clear on what’s expected with hyper kids usually makes them behave better.

  3. Please keep me posted on the developments in the matter or I’ll be losing sleep.

    Just BTW, my daughter turned a teenager yesterday. All of 13 !!!!

  4. Poor Bean..its just not fair to her. Dont you think you can just pick out her stuff alone for her?

    After all , poor thing was ready to carry even both baskets..

  5. If the maids are accompanying the kids, then you can ask the maids to clean up after them. However, it would not be a bad idea to let the kids in only after you reinforce that they should pick up whatever they leave scattered.

    • tell me a polite way to do it. the kids dont seem to be bothered. they dont listen to their own parents i suppose, because they look at me in shock. they’ve never heard such a request before.

      • We have a rule. No new toys until the old toys that you have played with have been put away.
        The kids know this rule and tell them to their kids.

        I know my friend’s make their kids do it before they leave and/or help clean up.

      • MM,

        There is no polite way with kids like the way with adults. I am usually firm but talk in a polite tone that they must clear up before they leave. And the kids usually chip in. Sometimes, I also make it a little game- lets see how quickly you can do this. Another one that works is allocation- No. 1- cars, No 2- all crayons, No 3- dolls and so on . Its a winner

  6. You go Brat! Don’t give into police brutality! 😉 We’re with all the way! Your brother here will send you more prehistoric pals – but don’t give in buddy!

  7. Oh jeez ! I am a Taurean too, and its so sad to see him suffer like that. But we are known for our stubbornness 😦 Do tell me how it ended, I think Taureans listen to logic (a sweeping statement, I know)and so hope brat does not take it to heart, and this never gets repeated.

    Worried me. My nephew gets into similar situations too. I think its a part of growing up. But my heart goes out to the kids, I am a very doting mausi.

    • but we did appeal to logic. pointed out that he has his own room. that we dont want to be tripping over toys and that his toys are his responsibility.

      its pretty hard for us too 😦
      but times are changing. we grew up with so much house help. by the time he is older we may not have any and its just good for him to learn to clean up after himself.

      • Awww i’m a taurean too.. n stubborn and unreasonable as a mule when i want it.
        Maybe if u threatened him that if he doesn’t clear in 10 mins and left the room [most imp part]. he would have cleared it. Don’t ask me why..its a taurean thing..
        We like to please.. but not bossed over. so….

        • I second Shruti’s advice. I am a Taurean too, so let me inform you that the more you tell me to do something,I’ll dig in my heels and wont do it. On the other hand,tell me to do something and leave me alone,it’ll get done even if I’m in the middle of 10 other things 🙂 Its been this way since I was a kid so I guess its a Taurean thing after all!

          • crazy na? we often do leave him to his pace, but i think sometimes they have to learn that there are consequences. in this case, our bed was covered with toys and there was nowhere to lie down.

  8. uff forget action replay, not when we have Shakti Part 2 developing right now. I would say keep the dustbin (with toys) in the cupboard for now (this is the one in the room right? not the one with trash?)

    re: the visitors. I would say dont keep all the toys out for them, just some and ask them to help Brat and Bean in putting them away as Last Night their Baba Threw Out Toys Left Outside their Boxes.

    • actually it was the one in the bathroom and normally would have trash in it. just their good fortune that it had been cleaned and had fresh lining. else… ugh. i am not sure i want to think about it.

  9. Is there a single basket or something you can point to and tell the kids to use when they’re done? May be easier for them to grasp than a general “put things back”.

  10. want to know how the Brat is going to handle/end this..

    btw.. if he sticks to his stubbornness, he loses the toys. But then some day you got to buy him new ones, right?

    • no. we’ve not bought them toys in atleast 3 years. they only get toys from us on their birthdays. other than that its mostly gifts and kids these days get gifts like nobody’s business!

      • Well, my point wasn’t toys. with this, would he learn to never abandon his things and feel responsible?
        I know, the parents do what’s best for their kids.

          • I think I know what myth means because I had a similar discussion with someone a while back… what happened was this… one evening a maidless me had a exact same conversation threat with Ojas… just that instead of dustbin I told him I will give away ur toys to someone and I did that…(he has started arranging them perfectly post that BTW) when I told this to one of my friends they were like ok so what happens after u throw/giveaway the toy? I said thats the punishment which makes him realise that if he doesnt take care of his things they will be taken away… but what she said was that do u think it really matters to the kids? either u will buy them a new toy soon or someone will gift it to them and hence the loss of one toy wont really make any difference… they will soon forget it… she said there should rather be a way to encourage the sense of responsibilty and ownership by rewards rather than punishment

            she made some sense but I think thats what we all do start with… I mean its not that we like to shout at our kids or throw their toys away just because we were itchy and angry…

  11. Im a taurean, and i can SO relate to that stubbornness. Let me tell you something, it doesnt change even as you grow up 😉

    I find myself STILL being stubborn about so many things..with the parents, with the sibling, with the work..some things just dont change and taurean traits sure are one of those things!

  12. married to a taurean and while they can be totally darling, i often maintain that they r rebels without a cause! Let us know what happens. Am sure brat will come to the rescue of beanie baby’s toys

  13. Perhaps you could say something like – “Lets all clean up together and leave the room as we found it. Coz otherwise, next time we cannot take things out.” It might mean getting down on your fours to demo initially, but eventually it *might* work out.

    And my older one lost her favorite toy for a week when she broke the safety gate at the bottom of the stairs. All she cared about was her dad’s threat that he would take the cash out of her first paycheck when she got it 😛 “Daddddda.. tell me what a paycheck is and don’t take mine!!!”

  14. My son is a Taurean too. A whack on the back generally works. Not always though.

    But look here, woman! If Beanie doesn’t get her elephants back I’m calling the child-unfairly-punished-by-mean-parents helpline. If one doesn’t exist I’m launching one. Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.

  15. hey MM…this is one issue we used to have a lot! And somehow, it just doesn’t seem fair to expect the child to replace his will with that of the adult, does it? Days like this will happen…and I am glad the Brat stuck it out!!! Sorry, OA!

    • bah. wait. i’ll send them to cover your bed with toys! its not about our will against his. say like wearing purple socks instead of brown. its about him being 5 and being responsible for his own stuff and not being inconsiderate by messing up our room

      • I know exactly what you mean!! And I know the Brat as the sensitive, kind and very considerate child. I just meant that the best of the best kid goes off into a tangent like this once in a while!!! And I keep reminding myself that they are not like this always! (Happens a lot with my boys too)
        ..My child development paper says that this phase will pass by 6 yipee..just another couple of years to go (you believe it??)

  16. Hugs. It’s battle that’s ongoing with us. Seem to have found a few solutions that work pretty well, if we avoid losing our temper.

    1. Before they start playing, tell them the time they’re expected to start cleaning up.
    2. 5-10 minutes before clean-up time, announce it. If the child dawdles, put on a timer.
    3. If the child is trying hard to clean up, and the timer rings, we don’t do anything and let him finish. If they finish before it rings, big applause and admiration 🙂
    4. If he/she refuses to clean up, the toys or books go above the cupboard, for a week. This works well, if it’s a favorite toy.
    Another option is, if you clean it up the child loses the privilege of playing with it for a week (or whatever length of time sounds reasonable to you)
    5. Before anything else, you HAVE to train them on how to clean up, several times, and progressively stop helping, as they learn it. Taught Dhruv to keep ironed clothes in his cupboard today instead of yelling at him when I found them all flung around, realised I’d never ever trained him. He got it.
    6. Warn them that if you find their stuff lying around, you will point to it wordlessly and they can clean it up, or else it goes up.

    Maybe I should post on this sometime 🙂 Oh and if you find a solution for visiting kids, I wanna know! I insist that they clean up at least one set or game…I do come across as rude to some, and their moms raise eyebrows, but I’m burnt out. And my kids are pretty good at tidying up, why should other kids get away scot-free???

    btw, I have thrown toy parts in a real stinky dustbin, and the shock of losing it worked well for a long while for them, but I feel bad that I did it so angrily 😦 Those were cheap plastic crap, though.

    • with visiting kids what I usually do is just before they are going to leave I tell ojas to clean up, most of the times the visiting maids and mum take a clue and start helping him… and the times they dont I actually ask the child… u played with ojas didnt u so why dont u help him pack?

  17. funny story here MM – my sis in law has the neighbouring apartments kids come over to play with her only son…she actually made a 6 yr old go home unwashed after pooping bcos she was so mad that he hadnt learned to do it himself. so the poor kid actually walked home (ack i know!) like that! lesson learned though bcos now when nature calls, he runs back to his own home and maybe his mom realised she better get cracking too.
    Toys – I know its very inconsiderate when they just leave but maybe you need to lay down rules for your own sanity…ask them to clean up or they cant play together (God knows if it will work) It is for this same reason that Im not a big fan of playdates bcos I cant get aggressive (you know what I mean) with other people’s kids.
    I did the same thing OA did with Reh…little did he know that I took the toys out when he wasnt looking. He assumed they did go out with the trash until I gave them back to him months later. He did realise though that I was serious about him cleaning up when I asked him to. And has more or less remembered that lesson.

  18. Thanks for this post.. I was always thinking that I am the mean Dad.

    Have done it twice.. picking up things and putting them in garbage.. wifey watching silently.. while the kids stubborn.. but in long term it works.. Now I only have to snap my fingers and point to garbage can.. no words needed.

    Yup, it is true when you say that we grew with so many household help.. but at the same time we did not had so many toys and I do remember that my parents always made it a point to take care of my shoes.. that is putting them properly, polishing etc.

    But it doesn’t matter how we grew up.. what matters is how and where they are growing up..

  19. I have a technical question. How did you manage to click away in the middle of this situation :). I was literally praying this post doesn’t end with the toys in the garbage can as I was reading.

    Hugs to the brat and poor lil beanie.

  20. I’ve done it. Made guest kids keep the stuff back in its place. Else they are not allowed to play with those again. My house , my rules ! And I do the dustbin trick too. That is not so effective , but I purge toys away at a high place where son can see but not reach
    My taurean son eventually comes around 🙂

  21. Ah.. tell me about it..
    When we take all the pains to discipline our children and find that there can be some who just wouldn’t lend a ear to you it can be quite shocking.

    I have this neighbor whose son is the same age as my son..So initially I let this kid into my house. But I just didn’t know how to discipline him and eventually stopped opening the door when he rang the doorbell.

    This kid would come to my house and jump on the couches, pull the wall hangings from the hooks and throw them on the floor, climb on all possible tables/shelves, take fruits from the dining table and have a bite or two and leave them unfinished.
    I hadn’t experienced any of this with my son and just didn’t know how to react.

    Then one day he was banging something on the couch. His mother was very quietly watching it. I asked him a couple of times not to do it.. He wouldn’t stop and his mother would not utter a word. Finally I could take it no more and I said if you spoil my couch I am going to come to your house and break all your toys..
    I just didn’t care what that lady thought.. It was just too much for me to sit there and watch this kind of behavior. And then he stopped. The other day he would pull the leaves of plants. Again my pleading fell on deaf ears.. And his mother was not bothered to stop him. I warned that if he pulled another leaf I am going to pull his hair out. He still didn’t stop. He finally got really scared when I actually went to pull his hair.
    Now what I do is I only let those kids inside my house who are ready to obey certain basic rules. All these rules apply to my son also. I don’t care if certain unruly kids ( and their mothers ) think of me as the meanie aunty 🙂

  22. It’s perfectly okay being the bitch aunt. In your house, your rules apply.
    I wish the Brat would miss stuff, though- no fun throwing it out if it doesn’t bother him.
    Poor Beanie- aatey key saath ghun bhi pis jaatey hain:(

  23. Kids who come to our home are expected to clean up after they play… and I am not afraid to say so. Infact I have drilled into my girl’s head that she asks her friends to clean up … if not she will be the one who is cleaning everything. She can chose to get help from friends or end up cleaning herself. Also, anything lying on the floor after clean up is deemed unnecessary and depending on my mood and the toy in question its either trashed or made unavailable for the kid for certain time. There are times when the parent of the visiting kid come to pick up the kid and the kid is ready to leave when I cleverly ask “Kids are you done clean up?” The visiting parents have no choice but to ask their kid to help clean up.
    I strongly believe in following what I expect. I always …always make sure Cantaloupe helps in cleaning up when she visits her friends.

    • I completely agree! My son is 2 years old and his friends come to play. At the end of it I give them a 5 minute heads up before they are supposed to leave that “the room must be cleaned up”.
      But then there are kids who are tricky to handle and so are their parents. Then I ask the kids in front of the parents “Kids did you clean up and put all the toys back?” that does the trick! Like some ppl said “My house my rules”.
      And when i go over to someone’s place with N, I make sure he cleans up and I even model it for him if he doesn’t. I think you should just try to make a fun game out of it when other kids come. And if they don’t get it well the next play date is going to be very very long time away 🙂

  24. \m/ ..Go Brat..!! \m/ 🙂

    Feel bad for Beanie though, poor girl… can’t you steal her toys from the dust-bin and give it to her later.. maybe, after a few days? You may score some browny points, next time.. you might be the one in the photo, face covered by a snotty handkerchief and not behind the camera getting jealous 😉

  25. MM,

    I make it clear to the kids who enter my home that I expect them to “help” pick up the stuff. yes, at the door. But I also make sure that my son helps clean when he’s over at his friend’s home ( very pointed, loud remark so that the mommy of the house knows where I’m coming from, and is not offended by my having her kid help with pick up.)Yes, it works for (most) desis as well. The two that it didn’t work for were dropped like hot potatoes (I’d rather live and die in seclusion… 🙂 I don’t think you’ll miss having the bratty ones around anyway!

    So here’s how it works–I start making “playdate over” noises about 15 minutes before time is up, and then ask them all to chime with barney’s clean up tune….most of the mess gets sorted out, but yes, it needs constant supervision. In part, I know, it works because we’re in the west. I don’t think I’d be very popular back in the desh. 😦

    PS: Just read CA’s comment —pretty much my MO.

    Oh and the OA can put the toys away next time,(like in on top of a cupboard–just have them out of commission for about two weeks) much less drastic than trashing them(tho I have flushed away a playmobil gun once, and am certainly no saint here!).

  26. Did he ? Did he come and collect the toys? I’ve had this done to me as a kid and it’s worked sometimes . Not always 😐

  27. You broke my heart with this post, but I guess I will see your point when I become mommy too. I still side with the Brat. He looks so adorably lost, in that pic with his dinosaur toys.
    Give the Bean back her toys, please? I can’t imagine her beeg eyes all welling up. 😦
    The poor baby.

  28. Delurking ! couldn’t help get give my 2 paise on this 😉 have seen this amazing technique work with my SIL and her 4 year old. He is a Taurean too…and she makes everything sound like a game. If he doesn’t switch off the TV after the allotted 30 minutes…she goes “i want to be the FIRST one to switch off the TV”….the lil guy can’t bear to lose in he grabs the remote ,switches off the TV and declares that he came first in the switch-off-the-TV-competition! and it always works with everything!! 🙂

  29. will it be idiotic to crib about househelp in blore and neighbour kids from big complexes in bangalore who make my house look like a tornado hit it?
    we have rules too – even for neighbour kids. play with toys – put them back. but they just shove things back and unless i am actually there all the time and watching every single time (which is not only not possible, but will drive me more nuts than the house being a mess) toys will never be put away the way they are supposed to (i dont care about most plasticky things but with board games and puzzles and that sort of stuff if the parts are lost then the whole game is useless. again i don’t really care on a day to day basis, but overall i don’t think it is right.
    also the other big hassle is our rules always seem more stringent than the others, and so my kids always crave the lifestyle of the others. we explain to them, they get it most times, but other parents’ policies always end up making it more difficult for me.
    of course being exposed to so many kids in the colony has its advantages and my kids are more well equipped with basic social skills (it is just one of those things that is important to me i don’t know why).
    i could go on…

      • firstly i have one maid, not two.
        secondly i have one after months of not having anyone and years of suffering.
        thirdly i have no idea how long this will last therefore do not put nazar.
        fourthly i still have to do the cooking (for the maid included), and cleaning up after the kids and neighbour kids, cleaning up after the maid too (apart from the million other jobs that the maids in back of beyond bangalore do not do)
        so, no, not really better off here.

        • i think the number of maids is not the issue as much as the size and type of household you run. some people microwave everything, order takeaway for parties and have barely any possessions. they also just might have good help.
          i never order for a party, its all homecooked, i have 1000s of books and furniture and knickknacks, its a high maintenance home. some might say why have a high maintenance home? well that is a person’s choice. as long as you treat your help well and pay them a fair wage and dont ask the person questionning you to do your work, all is well. its like running a bigger business as opposed to a one man show – entirely your call.

  30. I expect kids to put toys away when they come over, at least back in the room if not in the cupboard/shelves. And i always make sure my boys do the same. It’s okay to verbalise this before your little guests are ready to leave.

    Anxiously waiting to find out what happens…so tempted to call!

  31. ours kids are responsible for cleaning up after themselves. we also tell them that toys left on the den floor when they go to bed will be put in the trash but are usually packed away in the garage until they ask about them a few weeks later. as for guests, if the place is clean when they arrive they are asked to clean before they leave. if they do not help then they usually aren’t invited back.

  32. my baby – all of 6 moths old – is a taurean. I can see that stubborness emrging even now. She’s generally a happy baby and not much trouble. But if we try to force her to do something then boy can she scream. Please please please tell me it will get better. But reading this post i really don’t think so 😦

      • are so welcome. I look up these for my nephew and niece and pata brat and bean are not too far in my mind..soo..

        Will love to see your garden. Its Christmas again, and I am still to deliver on my promise of sending you a keepsake(A christmas decoration) It will come to you some day 🙂 Love.

  33. Please update post..what happened?? Did it go in the garbage van..did he/you pick it up later.
    Off topic, my son got a remote bulldozer/earthmover for his previous B’day. As usual both the boys were warring over it a couple of months ago. Neither willing to give up. I gave them enough warning to stop fighting else i will break it into pieces and neither will have it. Like ever it just went over their heads. I wanted to stick to my guns and show them i mean business, i snatched it from it and wanted to dump it back in the toy basket. I missed the basket and the truck had a bad fall and eventually broke. Not that i wanted to do happened. Now..they dont let go of the broken toy. They just bring out now and then to show me I BROKE IT. bah!!!!!!!

  34. Doll it gets worse as he grows up… seriously. at 30 i am more stubborn and pigheaded than i was at six, and that’s saying a lot.

    also.. i am expecting my first in end May 2011, and Lord knows i am going to do any damn thing to keep the child inside of me till then and not pop out a week earlier. one taurean is more than enough in a household. though friends and family say it’ll be a fitting punishment.

    Poor Brat. Us taureans are often misunderstood. Bratty you have a sympathetic listener here. I know love, it happens.

    • you having a baby? little Stu having a baby? how fun. congratulations!

      the biggest prob i have with the brat is his nature combined with his dreaming. you have no idea how frustrating it is to deal with a stubborn child who is also a dreamer. he ends up floating around vaguely. not sure of what he is doing. but adamant that it is the only way!

  35. I checked for the umpteenth time today to see if there were any updates. So, what was the outcome? Did the brat cave? Did the OA cave? Did the Bean just bonk everyone on their respective heads and get her elephants back?

    p.s. I am firmly rooting for Bean in this situation btw.

  36. I completely second what you and the OA did. I believe that kids need to be disciplined where there is a need. I love kids, but I am also the first one to discipline them. I believe these need to be 2 sides of the same coin.

    In all this I only feel bad for Beanie. But in way even that is ok. Isnt she part of the good things that come Brat’s way, so why not the bad ones? They need to be partner in everything.

    Sorry if it sounds rude. (a lot of my friends have said this before to me)

  37. Telling some of the kids to clear up does not work. I have had kids come home who slip away when i am not looking without putting away the toys and this has happened more than once with the same set of kids. I have also seen my kids put away toys in other kids homes when even those kids dont do it 😦 I am almost tempted to tell my kids not to do it but i know i wont 😦

  38. Even though you have got lots of suggestions, I would like to add a few things. These may not work all the time :).

    1. If you directly tell visiting kids that they have to clean before they leave, it may not work. I always suggest a mid-play break for snack/drink, and mention to kids to make ample room for sitting where ever they are playing(idea is to get them to clean). Assign tasks – blocks to one kid , crayons to other etc. etc. Repeat the action before they are ready to leave.

    2. If kids are not cooperating, gently ask mothers and maids for help…while doing this, if you break into a rant of “aaj kal ke bachche” , it works well…. 🙂 🙂 .

    3. With my own kids, without specifically pointing out to them, I read to them books which talk abt sharing, doing chores etc.

    4. Please don’t misunderstand, but when you mention that brat is stubborn, why mention that it is because he’s a Taurean ? Isn’t this like excusing his (mis) behavior? It seems to me that even grown ups use it as an excuse – Yes, I’m stubborn since I’m a Taurean!!

    I agree with what you did with brat, but I have realized that when my kids are busy in their play, if I ask them to clean their stuff , they think that it will take lots of time. At such times, I ask them to take a 5 min break from their play , and help me, then get back to their play. I even put a 5-min timer. This assures them that their playing will not be stopped.

    Oops…such a story I wrote. Now to the disclaimer part – I live in the West :).

    • No I dont use it as an excuse. not at all. I completely understand what you mean. But I notice Taureans ARE far more stubborn. however it doesnt excuse them from doing their share of chores. its just a well… pop culture zodiac reference. taurean or not, kids have to learn to do their share of work at home.

  39. Acho!! So complicated.

    The brat and I share our B’days…so I can completely fathom why he won’t budge. And As an adult I u’stand where u n the OA come from. Its hard to be patient when one is that drained out.

    When I was in 3rd standard..i blv I was chewing my hair-band. So my teacher called me out and I apparently immediately said ‘Sorry’. She asked me to stand in a corner of the classroom as a punishment. So I took my hairband, put it right back in my mouth and stood in the corner. She asked me to take it out a zillion times and I refused to and she go so mad that each of the teachers who came in for the next period, was told to keep me standing. It was noon, time for lunch, 3 hrs since I was punished n there I ws yet with hairband in my mouth and unwilling to cry or beg or listen.
    The a teacher who I was very fond of ..came to talk to me and ask me why I’m being this way, and I believe I said “I told ma’am, Sorry. Why should she punish me? If she wants to punish me in front of the full class( guess my ego was at stake?)then why should i take the band out of my mouth?” That teacher asked me to go back to my desk..which is when I took the band out of my mouth and since then NEVER chewed on it.
    This incident is document in my 3rd grade report card.

    We taureans are just that way ! My nanaji( an astrologer by profession) always tells people that to get me to do something, the stick won’t work..what will work is a pat my back, words of praise and lots of love. [ tho’ I completely u’stand that parents can’t always be that way]

    n at the risk of fellow taureans disowning me I must admit, as I’ve sobered down so much as I’ve grown up. I’m no more that stubborn.

    Have u tried sweet talking to the brat after the tension in the air about the incident cleared off? Good luck to u all for this to get sorted out.

  40. We Taureans prefer to call it ‘persistence’ or even ‘determination’. And since we are so sweet other than this perfectionist persistence, we are totally worth it! What do you say?! 😀

    I tell my kids’ friends all the time to clean up. Even given them 10 minute warnings. And as the kids grow up, even their friends know the house rules and don’t bring everything out. Because it’s too much of a pain otherwise. Unhostessy? I don’t think so (nor particularly care, to tell you the truth!).

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