Amnesia

Last night we went for a wedding reception. It was late and today is a school day but the couple are close friends and I thought it would be fun for the kids because the guest list was small and intimate and the venue beautiful. Things began to go wrong within ten minutes of leaving home but clearly we can’t take a hint. We were stuck in the mother of all jams. The kids began to whine after a while, sitting in the dark and irritating each other. I kept threatening  scolding to throw them out of the door. I’m glad I didn’t have to act upon that threat because the traffic was too heavy for me to even crack open a door.

An hour and a half of being in traffic and the Bean began to say she was feeling pukey. I took her in my lap and rolled down the window for some fresh air. Unlikely that there’d be any fresh air, stuck in the midst of traffic and fumes as we were. And then as we sat there cursing, there was a sound behind us and the Brat threw up all over himself and the car. I took one look at my peacock blue kanjeevaram and mentally kissed it goodbye. The OA pulled over and we hopped out and I begged a bottle of  water off a kind driver somewhere (Salaam driversaab, I’m sorry we left you waterless). We tried to wash him out but he was beyond repair. His shoes, socks, pajama, everything was caked in puke (I don’t think we feed him as much as he expelled). We cleaned him as best as we could only to realise that now he was freezing to death.

So we pulled off his by now sopping wet but still miraculously puke-encrusted pajama and the OA put his waistcoat on him. It went down to his knees and stiffly stuck out a good foot on either side of his shoulders.  The poor child was wet and shivering in the nippy early winter night and the OA and I were this close to smacking him for not warning us. He can talk ad nauseum about blue whales and stingrays, but can’t tell us he’s feeling like vomiting?! At this point he decided to break the ice by pointing out that the moon was blue and moving. Argh.

At this point I had what I like to think of, as my brain wave. The  Bean was in a brand new anarkali crushed kurta and churidar – I took off her churidar and I made him wear it. It just about went up his legs and left him unable to walk. The Bean didn’t object but looked rather sad. And then the OA and I surveyed the situation and laughed. Our son was in a maroon kurta with his sister’s purple and gold churidar, minus his socks, and floating in the OA’s large oversize waistcoat. The Bean was in a pretty purple and red crushed cotton anarkali kurta with a chiffon dupatta, ending in a pair of black skull and cross bone socks and Mary Janes – what? I hadn’t anticipated her having to take her churidar off!

We walked into the wedding looking bedraggled and smelling of puke (what? we couldn’t have bunked it – the couple were too dear to us and we were starving and in no position to drive another 2 hours back home) . The bride and groom were gracious and laughed with us. We figured the kindest thing we could do to them was to stay away from them and not pose for the mandatory picture. Fortunately some kind souls lent us some clothes and we put the Brat into a pair of tracks under his kurta, took off his thermal and wrapped him in my shawl, and returned the Bean’s churidar and her dignity to her.

By the time we were ready to eat, the OA and my sanity was hanging by a thread. The kids had forgotten the ordeal and were running around happily after eating a good meal. The entire evening had got derailed and it was way past their bed time. We finally left, dragging them behind us, back into our car that was stinking of puke. We got some paper from the caterers and cleaned up the floor as best as we could. Then we laid out fresh paper and made them sit down quietly, telling them they were not to move an inch or they’d know the reason why.

We’d barely driven for two minutes when I realised they’d both fallen asleep in the back seat. We haven’t carried a baby bag in 2 years or more and these are the times that I suppose we should have one. On the other hand, it’s good for the kids to rough it out and not take themselves too seriously. I wish I’d had a camera to record the moment we walked into the wedding venue, looking like a bunch of castaways.

The roads were empty, the night RJ was playing some good music and the OA and I were soon smiling and laughing over the kids’ antics. Mimicking them, discussing their temperaments and so on. He often asks me how women go through a second pregnancy and delivery after the discomfort and pain of the first one. So I gently asked him if he was still exhausted and annoyed.  He looked surprised – Of course not. He’d forgotten all about it. And there you have it, I said. That is how it works. Where your children are concerned, it’s so easy to forget the trouble and only focus on the joy they bring. Do you agree?

As to the songs that put us in a good mood (yes, it’s always about the music…)

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51 thoughts on “Amnesia

  1. It’s so true that you soon forget all the trouble when it comes to children. I sometimes try to recollect the contractions, without success.

  2. I am amazed you still made it to the wedding and did not just turn right back for home after bratty boy puked. But all turned out well in the end. 🙂

    And I don’t know if I agree with your statement as I am still waiting to have kids of my own, but after last night’s tiff with hubby, I can say that it is true for other babies in your life as well.. 😛

    Also, you must really like “sama hai suhana suhana” It is included twice in the playlist 😀

  3. I couldn’t help laughing at the adorable situation.. Sorry MM. I am still laughing! 2 little jokers for bachchas. I also want!!

    Hope Brattie is doing fine.

  4. I agree and with respect to the pregnancy there’s a study that claims women actually do forget within two years of giving birth and some sooner. It’s funny how you said OA and you laugh and recount some of their antics. We tend to do that over dinner while A is in her crib (usually). I will tell him how she was looking for attention, he will tell me what she did in the car 🙂
    Children are SO amazing!

  5. Wow! You still made it to the wedding 🙂 Really sweet 🙂

    And the second baby part is something I have always wondered about too..
    p.s: I still haven’t even had one ..lol!
    Good to know that children make the labour pains worth it 🙂

  6. ohhhh Lil p is a puke machine!!!! The poor kid gets really car sick if car travel extends beyond 10 secs .. we have a plastic mug, 5 toilet rolls, an emergency change of clothes for her , n me n if its a marriage for hubby too. We have a room freshener, strong deo for me and lollipops..

    sucking on something kinda helps her..
    But hey! we do tend to forget it all the next moment.. 🙂 Its amazing to have a kid.

  7. So true, we hardly ever carry the change of clothes these days. Still they drop stuff, puke and go jump in puddles. Even if we carry the blasted extra clothes, son whines about his wet sandals…aaaargh!

    But you’re right, stained clothes and smelly car just aren’t even a blip on our radar of catastrophes how. Come to think of it, even blood spurting out of wounds and dashes to the ER are commonplace.

    It’s very easy to focus on the joy they bring when they’re adorably asleep…I agree 😈

  8. Can’t believe u still went to the wedding.. we’d have turned back for sure. Love your attitude. I do wish you’d have had that camera. Kids really do make everything worthwhile.

    • haha. the OA refused to drive back 2 hours without eating. And the brat who had emptied the contents of his stomach was all set to eat
      necessity is the mother of accepting invitations.

  9. Dear mm,
    All I can say is I laughed and laughed till I was totally out of breath.OMG, you are such a funny mummy!!!I could literally visualise the scenario by the side of Delhi pavement. you have a comic presence for all life’s unexpected moments.God bless you sweet people.

  10. *silent lurker*

    I just felt bad for poor Bean…Imagine making an entrance at a wedding with socks under a kurta and a dopatta! Thank God u guys didn’t have the camera; she might not have forgiven u for that! =)

    • LOL! yeah – another year or two and she’d have hated me. but right now, she didnt think it was a big deal to wear a kurta with no churidar. thankfully it was a long anarkali one so she wasnt cold, but boy did she look comical!

  11. Hey MM,

    I am a regular reader of your blog and i admire ur sweet family
    I always keep waiting for your post
    I am usually lazy to comment but reading this post i couldnt stop laughing
    You and the OA always inspire me with your attitude and zeal towards life

    I really didnt expect you to go to the wedding reception but i was hoping you should to go. There is a reason to it. I have seen many parents who fuss about how their children look in social gatherings. They force them to wear weird outfits and make them so uncomfortable to move and run around. Worse is that they keep telling them dont run ur dress will be spoilt etc,etc.I always wanted to say to them chill it they are just kids. Let them be them and enjoy the time.

    You are always my inspiration

    • 🙂 thanks. I dont bother with kids at big parties because i think its torturous for them to be there in the first place! as long as they dont interfere/upset the wedding procedures or do something like bring the food tables down, i let them run around and have fun.

  12. You must be getting old – that explains both the title of the post and the fact that nothing you say anymore (even puke-caked stories), is going to put me and my sisterhood (single women who unfailingly drop by here), from wishing for them babies 😛
    I wish there was a pic of the babies. And your saree. Sounds gorgeous.

  13. put me and my sisterhood off them babies*

    In my defense, my English teacher never taught me how to deal well with the parentheses. 🙂

  14. Dude – you have the patience of a saint! Like everyone else, I am amazed you made it. I’d have

    a) CRIED
    b) Yelled at the husband, coz of course, he is the root cause of all problems. Always.
    c) Gone back home and cleaned up

    and then, perhaps, laughed! 🙂

    But you are right, there can be no other excuse than amnesia for having another of those walking catastrophes that are my children.

  15. 🙂
    This post reminds me of the time I had to be hospitalised (for the first time) during the first trimester. I generally do not like hospitals and I told husband that we are not gonna have a second child. I do not want to go through this again.. Lets see how I feel in another couple of years.. 🙂

    And the two of you are so PATIENT!!!!!!!!
    In your situation I would have yelled at the babies, yelled at husband and gone back home..
    OMG.. I am gonna be a terrible mom..

  16. This is why i read your blog. I love these stories, these impressions and these happy thoughts. Used to comfort me a lot when I was in London missing home.
    This blog has become like a virtual home for me 🙂

  17. You know why i am writing this? Just that I want to make my presence on this space, to be a part of it..selfish but I am “mad” about it, MM!

    You were in my dreams last night (ofcourse faceless..grrrrrrrr, i hate u for this!) We were at the same wedding reception!!!! I know brat n bean and I was all looking around for their mom (and hence spying on them so that I don’t miss it when they run to you!)

    I want to work it out some way..Want to get connected to you. (Now that I am married and so is your bro that’s out of question! ROFL) Can I interest you with my charming lil one for the bean? lol (can u get a jamai who is potty trained at 2??)

  18. This reminds me of an incident where i went for a wedding with a 2yr old firstborn in a temple. It was a beautiful old temple with a small crowd. Everything went well..until the kid got hungry. Well i waited for the food to arrive, and the moment it did..i went and filled up the plate for him and the left overs for myslef (lazy as i am cant get in line for the second time). This was a very informal gathering, no tables..just a few chairs. I sat down, kept the food on my lap and was helping him sit. Next thing i know..a big pat on the plate from the kid..hot food thrown on his face and my saree..i couldn’t care abt the saree..whatever water was in the sipper was not enough to wash him down and being an old temple..no wash rooms either. There was a watchman who was kind enough to get me a bucket of water. Washed him down..his eyes and face was burining for quite some time. Poor fellow fell asleep crying. 😦

    That said, you guys are the epitome of patience to me. I would have yelled at the kids, probably cried and gone back home.

  19. the good first – Lovely lovely songs 🙂 And yes – you do forget all the bad and remember only the happiness.

    And the puke – similar situation for me last week – Son had ear infection and high temperature and on the way to the hospital threw up all over me,himself and the car. And I didnt have a spare set of clothes 😦 Cleaned him,wrapped him in his wrap and I just wore hubby’s coat that covered me up to the hospital. And people gave me cold stares and stayed a mile away – I stank that bad! Embarassing for a fee minutes but then I didnt care after that – My baby was sick with 104deg fever and getting him well was all I had in my mind…

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