.. if when you shimmy out, dressed to the nines and toss a careless “Baby, I’m off to have coffee with the ex, see you around,” over your shoulder, his only reply is “Take an umbrella, it looks like rain” without even looking up from his damn newspaper.
I’m all dressed up to head out for dinner and he raises an eyebrow at my new blouse – “When did you pick this up. It’s new.”
I am shitting bricks because as usual I overspent on my credit card so I go with offence as the best defence – “It’s a gift from my secret lover.”
“Funny how,” he says… “your lover buys you stuff and our bank balance reduces… ”
I rack my brains to come up with something other than the truth which is, that I am shopping like it’s going out of fashion – “Well that’s because I need to buy him something in return, don’t I?”
Brilliant response, don’t you agree? But damnit, can I never sneak anything new past old eagle eye?