What’s the plan?

Since I began my notice period and began to tell people that I was quitting, I’ve had to deal with one question on a regular basis – What’s the plan? What next?

I don’t have one. I got a couple of job offers within days of putting in my papers (the grapevine is really efficient!) and regretfully turned them down. I really don’t feel up to it right now. My knee is a mess, my skin looks like a nuclear testing site and ย various joints just go pop as I twist and turn. But most of all, it is in the head. I don’t feel like committing. On the first day of being unemployed I got a desperate freelance request from a publication and did the story out of a sense of honour. But as I rushed around making calls and trying to make appointments I suddenly realised it was not what I wanted. Oh I wanted to work alright, but not like this. Then how? I really don’t know.

A lot has happened in the last two weeks that I shall later blog about. Suffice to say I’ve been travelling, I’ve lost weight and have rediscovered my collarbones (yayy!!), the knee is uncertain, the skin is worse, the kids school is off for almost 3 weeks thanks to the CWG and that gives me a lot of flexibility.

The only thing I’ve realised is that I want the next month or so off to revisit my life and my health situation. That, and the fact that I don’t want to commit to anyone other than family. For work, deadlines, anything. Nothing. I’ve had a hellish two years trying to keep every ball up in the air, spend time with the kids, do a good job at work, entertain, socialise, make sure the fans are clean and the corners well dusted. But now I’m just going to sit back and let it all go for a while.

So for now, the plan is that there is no plan.

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46 thoughts on “What’s the plan?

  1. I just love the way you are so clear in your mind what you want and then follow right through it even if it means I don’t want a plan.

    I just keep thinking forever.

  2. ‘Let it all go for a while”. Right! Right?

    I bet if you see a smudge of dust of the top right corner of the glass fronted shelf (i swear i did not put it there), you’ll be rushing off to get a stool and rag…

    You, child, are anal. incapable of letting go. that is actually going to the hardest lesson to learn from all this stress and quitting. if you can actually learn to not WANT TO keep all the balls up in the air – you’ll get better. promote yourself and delegate – and stick to it. relax and really really do nothing for a while that is physically or mentally stressful.

    all the best for getting better. you deserve it.

    PS: i hate you!!! for the collarbones and losing weight ….booohooooooo…let me go drown my sorrow in a bowl of chips.

    • MM, how well we know you! I logged into comments to post exactly this: that the day YOU let the fans go undusted is the day I quit my job and stay home! ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

      But wanted to point out, that you DO have a plan – to recharge/get your health taken care of etc.

      And can I add that I hate you too? HOW can you lose weight so easily? I don’t even overindulge in junk (triggers my asthma ๐Ÿ˜ฆ ) One of those times when the unfairness of life just hits home HARD! ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

      M

  3. Yes MM…i think women have a tendency to try and do everything to their best of their abilities – too many balls in the area. I remember when i got married i was so intent on having the best kept house, being the best cook, getting a promotion at work and living it up socially…it was too much for me. I ended up being stressed – hormones all warped – excessive weight which i am still trying to loose!!! and the best part is i never realized i was stressed until much later!

  4. Take care, MM. Take some time to think of yourself first. Take care of your health. Take some time off. Spend your day playing with the kids, reading, having tea by the window. I have done it, and much as I love my job now – that sense of having all the time in the world is something I miss.

  5. I also want a variation of this. What I want is a tall glass of something rather potent and illegal, comfy PJs, an engaging fat book and silence. I’m so done with this (and to think I have no kids yet) ๐Ÿ˜€

    All the best. I hope your knee feels better soon ๐Ÿ™‚ And yayyy for collarbones (though I hope you’re not starving yourself for them *grandmother glasses on nose bridge*)

  6. Kno whatโ€ฆu remind me of my mom. Mabbe Iโ€™ve uโ€™stood ur personality wrong but I feel She was n to some extent is like that . Apologies upfront if the comparison is incorrect.

    She wanted/had control over everything. Our home used to be spic n span when we were children. She had zero tolerance for untidiness. All my life Iโ€™ve seen her run from one pillar to another completing task after task struggling to live upto her expectations. When I hear children talk abt leaving behind their bags n clothes in the living room as soon as they return from school..I find it so hard to comprehend โ€˜coz even tho my mom was a working woman and my sis n I came back home to an empty homeโ€ฆwe were very disciplined. Our bags, clothes would be put away, lunch box put in the sink / washed once we became oldโ€™ enuf to do that etc etcโ€ฆu get the picture. My mom will tell everyone stories abt how as soon as my sis woke upโ€ฆthe 1st thing she wld do is complain abt things thrown abt on the center table in the living room n clean it up..with her eyes half-closed.

    U remem the Q I asked u in the post that u had put up a picture of ur childrenโ€™s adda below the staircase? That place reminded me of us when we were tiny tots.

    Over the years with age n life catching up..she is learning to loosen up . I know this has taken a lot of effort from her end..to let things be n just sit back n relax, to sometimes..think about herself. โ€˜coz of financial reasons she cldnโ€™t quit her job then and now Iโ€™m not sure she has the courage to quit her job, not yet.

    That being said..my sis and I are very thankful for this kinda discipline instilled in us at that early age โ€˜coz then the lesson stays with us for life. From we have learnt to pay attention to detail but at the same time to a break when we must.

    Good Luck MM! I hope you enjoy the process of learning to let go

    • ๐Ÿ™‚ i sound like your mom. the only difference is, that all the discipline is mine alone. i dont enforce it on anyone else rigorously. its also why i have stayed home to take care of the kids instead of doing as other suggest, and sharing the work load with the OA. if I want something – I must work for it. its not anyone else’s job to run my house the way i want it. and that is the teeny difference ๐Ÿ™‚
      that said, i really must learn to let go on all the little little things that i insist on doing my way.
      PS: that pic under the staircase? its usually tidy because there isnt much lying there. the kids have a nursery AND a separate playroom in this house so the house doesnt really get very untidy

      • @MM: These things don’t have to be enforced, at such a young age they just rub off on the children n sometimes at others who stay around for that long. n THAT is a good thing!

    • PV, your mom sounds like an amazing woman and yeah, much like MM. Sounds a lot like my dad too.. he’s the tidiest and most organized person I’ve ever met, so for a long time I used to wonder why women crib about men being lazy or disorganized.. well then I got married and the bubble burst ๐Ÿ˜€

      • @adarkcomedycalledlife : Thank You. she really is! A very strong woman!Sometimes all i aspire is to be like her.
        oh god, now i’m crying just thinking of her…sorry i have been very very homesick for the last few days n this post didnt help.

        n wooooooow..an organized man…thats a first!

  7. Yay for the no plan!!!! There are only few times in life that you can say that, so enjoy it at its best now! I strongly advise you to see a PT – maybe you already have , but as a PT in research I suggest doing quad and hip exercise which take some pressure of the joint.

  8. Good for you. Having no plan is the best plan. We live but once. Might as well live it on your own terms.

  9. That is nice to hear. But is blogging part of the plan, it looks like it is, but would like to confirm ๐Ÿ™‚

    I agree with you though, letting go (of anything) is the hardest thing and hope you are successful at that and also, reach where you want to be in life!

  10. You know what you need don’t ya…Remember my offer to drop of the brats with me in sunny california while I pack you and OA off with a picnic basket to guzzle chardonnays in NAPA valley?

    Well…..baby….nows the time to do it:-) Best of all another month or so of sunny-ish weather and your favorite season will hit Bay Area…overcast skies, chill in the air, a drizzle.

    So whatcha waiting for!!

  11. That’s great MM! I love the sound of that plan. And I totally get what you’re saying about letting it all go for awhile and just keeping a single focus and priority of yourself and family. A month from now, will give a lot more perspective, even if it is just to say that you need more of this downtime.

  12. And THAT sounds like an excellent plan. Enjoy it, rejuvenate, and when you’re ready to scale the walls, you’ll know you’re ready to take on work.

    ๐Ÿ™‚

  13. *But now Iโ€™m just going to sit back and let it all go for a while.*

    And OJ drags a stool and a bowl of popcorn to watch that episode of Ripley’s Believe It or Not! ๐Ÿ˜›

  14. Yay to that. Sometimes it’s good to have no plan, and to just sit back and enjoy life as it passes by. ๐Ÿ™‚

  15. good good goodd!!!!!
    exactly what I thought you’d need, and how I wondered why you weren’t planning to quit!! ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ™‚

    wish you slow, but happy days ahead!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  16. It’s great that you don’t have a plan. Sometimes, that’s the best way thing you need. You need a break from all the planning and executing and everything, to recharge your batteries and just be.
    So go on, and BE. ๐Ÿ˜€

  17. Its good to not have a plan once in a while :)Enjoy this time! and hurrah for rediscovering the collarbones, when I find mine again I’m going to take them out for a drink. Hope that knee gets better soon too!

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