Dum ghut raha hai

Dear God,

Knee pain and pain of being absolutely lost in a soul-less suburb – is there more to come?

Beam me up. I’m done.


Little old painful me

PS: Today – no phone or internet all day. My cup overfloweth. Gentle readers, this is where you remind me that there are children starving in, oh.. Africa?

67 thoughts on “Dum ghut raha hai

  1. wish I could run a mgic wand and make it all alright. But I am no pari..have no wand.

    you are in my thoughts and prayers. Take away the knee pain is 1st in the list. not praying to make souless suburb to soulful..that can wait.

    funny I feel the same: about looking at other’s suffering to feel good about our problems. couldn’t do it.

    please get rest. what happened to Tania’s suggestion , you were going to go to the doctor with that information, specially when you have 4 root canals done

    God bless you MM

  2. I really hope and pray that your knee pain disappears soon, but living in suburbs, think about people who are homeless. BTW did you go to doctor to talk about the information you got from Tania? Take good care and rest well.

  3. Look, can’t you make up an elderly relative who needs personal care after a disastrous fall and shift back to the city on sympathetic grounds??? The school can’t kick you out now, can it?

  4. “is there more to come? ”

    Yup… Keep thinking like that and it will. (been there done that cliche inserted).

    With two little ones around, dum nahi ghutna chahiye… Only good part is that you are expressing it.

    Knee pain: have you tried to visit the doctor as suggested by someone? OR have you tried the Kerala ayurvedic massage (it may not cure but I’ve heard it helps)

    Soul-less subarb: Agar Gharonda bhara pura ho to fir ped/shahar ki kisko fikar..

    • i have made an appointment. as for the ayurvedic massage, i am a little worried. i’ve heard good and bad. i know two people who came back worse than they left. the trick is to find a good ayurveda center. and to find someone to stay with my kids if i need to go away for the treatment. and yes, the gharonda is the only thing that keeps me going.

  5. Come on MM … Cheer up. Give it some time … you will start finding some exciting things in your new set up as well.

  6. MM, Life is like that. Sometimes it throws you down a slippery slope and u feel all doomed. It may take 2 months or maybe a whole year. People who make lemonade of lemons survive OR you will be in trouble. I have been there…had to move countries to get over the illness/suffering and to make things okay for the family! Now regret the impulsive decisions that were taken in haste to get over that small problems in life…Hang in there!

  7. this is whr i expect a trollish comment from someone stating that u r exaggerating. would be fun reading the follow up after that. 😀

  8. Dear God,

    Tell MM she’s got like a hundred more years and when she’s fussing over the kids when the kids are in their 70s, she’ll be glad you didn’t take this post very seriously.

    Also pass along our collective “Hmpf!” (and hugs too) while you are at it.

  9. Take rest..and see a good doc.
    Soul-less suburb..Why?? With 2 wonderful kids, OA and friends around why soul-less ?? Cheer up girl.

  10. remember these lines – “to hell and back, and smile happily right through it.”

    hang in there! it’ll get better.
    about the knee, i hope u read my mail.

  11. Take a break girl. Go for a small weekend vacation. Just let go of some things. Visit your parents. You will feel better. Come back recharged. Heard from my parents its been raining there. Just put in some nice music, your favorite songs, make a hot choc milk and some nice pakoras and sing with your kids!
    take care!

    • raining where? gurgaon? yes.. rained two minutes ago too. and i did get hot pakoras and babies yesterday. which was nice 🙂
      but i miss, miss, miss, miss the hustle bustle of a city. any city will do. right now i am willing to take any city.

  12. no phone, no internet ? Sounds like bliss to me . Grab a book , the kids and curl up . Or potter around in the house (errr. maybe not considering the knees )

  13. There are seeds being sown that will grow into good things to come, even if the soil looks like a dirty mess 🙂

    Here’s a story for you:
    There lived an old farmer who had worked on his fields for many, many years. One day, his horse bolted away. His neighbors dropped in to commiserate with him. “What awful luck,” they tut-tutted sympathetically, to which the farmer only replied, “We’ll see.”

    Next morning, to everyone’s surprise, the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. “How amazing is that!” they exclaimed in excitement. The old man replied, “We’ll see.”

    A day later, the farmer’s son tried to mount one of the wild horses. He was thrown on the ground and broke his leg. Once more, the neighbors came by to express their sympathies for this stroke of bad luck. “We’ll see,” said the farmer politely.

    The next day, the village had some visitors – military officers who had come with the purpose of drafting young men into the army. They passed over the farmer’s son, thanks to his broken leg. The neighbors patted the farmer on his back – how lucky he was to not have his son join the army! “We’ll see,” was all that the farmer said!

    In the seed of a mishap lies the potential tree of good fortune.

    Take care MM…stop paying attention to your troubles and visualise the good times as you want them, feel the joy actually, and it will happen. Meanwhile express gratitude and make affirmations…it really works. If you’re taking treatment, imagine the medicine/oils/massage healing, rejeuvenating and strengthening you…medicine can’t work with a negative mindset.

    Sorry to preach…I go thru hard times too, and staying positive (when you just want to throw everything and wail) actually helps swing things the right way again.

    • sigh. you’re right. the nice part about whining online is that it gets out of your system and you get such positive suggestions. till last night all i wanted to do was fetch the OA a tight rap, not because the poor man had done anything, but because i’m just so cranky and he seemed the most conveniently located.

    • This one is sooo nice. I’ll keep this in mind to be reminded of when I want to disappear from the face of earth. Which is what I guess MM wants to do right now.
      Hang in there MM, we’ll see…
      And while you hang, can you make some extra hot chocolate? 🙂

  14. Errr….Don’t do sympathy that well, so don’t know what to say!
    But if the brat is up for adoption where do i file my claim?
    A big HUG. Missing you Lots!

    • 🙂 right here. next to my book shelf. did i mention i’ve been yelling at people who want to borrow books because i am terrified of you yelling at me for messing up the way you arranged them?

  15. Oh MM, you of the tireless hand and boundless blog. If the suburbs are grinding you down what of us mere mortals. Have a house in Gurgaon. If we came back that would be the natural place to go. Feels scary.

    As others have said – this too shall pass.

    • 🙂 i guess it only happens to people like me. you know, life kicking me in the butt. taking me down a few pegs for turning my nose up at this. well now it shall be my life for the next 13 years. as for why its grinding me down, its because i lost my driver without whom i am blind. and lame. and because its threatening to take my job away.

  16. MM
    I will quote my favorite Dr.Seuss for you.
    “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself, any direction you choose. ”
    “From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere. ”
    And finally about leaving Delhi
    “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened. “

    • ohmigod… its amazing what Dr Seuss can cure. Tania, you’ve been popping up at the most troubled parts of my life and helping me along. thank you for every single comment.

  17. Sending my prayers and best wishes to you, MM. And here’s something just for you.

    When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
    When the road you’re trudging seems all up hill,
    When the funds are low and the debts are high
    And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
    When care is pressing you down a bit,
    Rest, if you must, but don’t quit.

    I read it long time back and it has always given me the courage to struggle and go on. Just slow down a bit and try not to worry too much.

    Take care and cheer up now.

  18. Dear MM


    Lets handle the issue that is easy to handle 1st..that is moving to a suburb from a city. It does suck. I’m sure there are several several things u miss. But every place has something good about it. Its just that one has to force themselves to see it.
    I was In the same shoes as you in 2008. Moved from MD to Vermont. VT is such a small place. Hardly any city-fun hppng. To visit an Indian temple, I have to travel 3 hrs. Doesn’t have a cultural balance..it is predominantly whites. We moved here…’coz we were done with the routine of me travelling on work on a weekly basis and us meeting only over the wknd. In VT..we live together on a day-to-day basis..like any regular couple. To gain something..we had to lose something. After the initial frustration…I really put in effort towards seeing the positive things abt this place…n now I have made peace with being here..tho I hope that someday..i will get out. But being content temporarily has really resulted in me being able to enjoy life more.

    N then the more scary n complicated prob. The health!…. Hmm..I know the contacts of this homeopathic doctor, that I can give u if ur interested. Homeopathy cure is slow, but as far as my experience goes..the cure is permanent and definite.

    Last year..my mother had to have the surgery for getting her uterus removed. After that surgery ur suppose to get ample rest, n at that time she cldnt have afforded that ‘coz my sis’s baby was due around then. So, she chose to see this homeopathic Dr..and has taken the meds for a li’l over a year now. 2 mths back when she got her uterus scanned…the allopathy docs told her that she is fine and doesn’t need a surgery anymore. She is doing perfectly fine now.
    Rishab(sis’s son) used to keep getting these white patches on his skin. Agn..he has been taking homeopathic meds since recently..and they can see improvement in him.

    With homeopathy..u need lots of patience..but it can do wonders. Let me know if ur interested and I can send u her email ID and website.

    **sorry this is such a long comment..but just sharing what I know**

  19. Aw come on MM! Most cities were towns or suburbs once.. even South Delhi was a suburb of the real “Dilli” not so long ago.

    Give Gurgaon a chance. Isnt it nicer to make a city than come to it when others have made it one?

    Give us some happies now!

    • 🙂 maybe. but i HATE this fenced in gated community with guests having to park outside and walk in. to me its just rude to make your guests park in the dust and heat and walk half a kilometre in the heat/rain/cold. i hate the dreary sameness of the homes. i dislike the fact that there is no personal garden but a shared space that you have to make your peace with. i know this is nitpicking, but its just an opinion. the entire area is dusty, grey, devoid of any greenery and full of ugly shiny buildings that have been inspired by Ayn Rand.

  20. I agree completely. I hate Gurgaon too. Grey and plastic and glassy. and has no character.

    Noida’s wayyyy better, as suburbs go. But that’s off the point. Let’s take what we got and do the best we can with it. And you, with your green thumb, can make even a dreary top floor come alive. Amen.

    • sigh. i’m going to have to. but if i dont vent here, i might explode like a pressure cooker gone wrong. and noida is greener but not half as geared to working couples. both have their pros and cons.

  21. Hey MM! Hope you are feeling a little better now. More advice from me – Mom says this is the age to be careful before small health problems become life long issues.So, be careful and take care!

    Hoping to see a happy post from you soon 🙂

  22. oh why dint you move to a locality like South City? You would have got a teeny weeny city-ish feel there.
    Are you allowed to go out and eat? Gurgaon has some fantabulous restaurants. 🙂

  23. Trust you to poke at perfection! You bring the higgledy-piggledy, the slapdash and the quilted effect, dont you? Why go looking for it elsewhere too? In all the chaos and shite, someone decided to plonk you in the middle of perfect surroundings. Breathe, woman!

  24. Hey MM,
    I am also in Gurgaon…shifted here 2 months back… loathed it for a month, but slowly getting used to it. The absolute lack of any sort of public transport made it inbearable. I had to rely on the shared autorickshaws for my daily commute to office. Seaching for a house in the middle of May was a huge task.

    I can understand how you must be feeling dear. Just hang on for some time, it’ll be better as time will pass. Once the metro line till central secretariat starts, commuting to delhi will become easier. you’ll not have to be totally dependent on your driver then.

    Take care dear

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