What happened next

One child starting big school (needing all sorts of things everyday – labelled clothes, art materials, show and tell stuff, needs someone to ride the bus with him to school while the driver learns where he is to be dropped etc)

One house where none of the stuff from our old house fits. Curtains, furniture, everything the wrong size, hence nothing feels like home

One messed up iPhone


One robbed BlackBerry that didn’t belong to me – means no contacts – friends, family, work

One maid going home since her duty is done

One new maid who can’t speak or understand a word of English including things like ‘bed’

One absent driver who went home to get married and apparently can’t get enough of his new wife, professional duties abandoned. Which means taking a mix of lifts, autos, buses and metro rides that take the commute up to 3 hours of exhaustion one way and a very tired person with aching fever-in-the-bones-knees

One long commute that is 2 hours one way. Unless it rains in which case it goes up to 3 hours

One little girl to be admitted to a new school

One cook who is willing to cook for the maids but cooks absolute crap leaving takeaway as the only option

One flooding house and ruined furniture and carpets. Wooden flooring swollen and uneven and coming apart

One set of facilities to be shifted including gas, phone lines, billing address, bank work, locker…

One set of knees unable to move. Pain on a scale of 1 – 10? About 15.

One case of PCOS acting up and taking the body’s cycle haywire, so that I am now weak and anaemic with the blood loss (apologies Arun, Anand, Devakishor, Alok and the other men, I did try to keep this as polite as possible) resulting in black out and fainting spells. To say nothing of a pimply, oily face that would scare the life out of you if you encountered it in a dark alley at night

One travelling husband

All equals a complete breakdown and a few more blackouts where strangers took me home. So yes, I’m on a week’s leave. My doctor says my knees are degenerating really fast and there is no cure. Which means I will soon be chopped off at the knee and walking around on stumps. Not funny. I’m lying in bed, keeping me knees rested and just moving from room to room and instructing maids in the purest of Bengali on how to order and settle things. I have dug out my old laptop and typing on a tiny little keyboard is no fun so don’t expect to see too much of me.

The only bright side is that the kids are thrilled. They don’t realise I am sick and are thrilled to be able to get into bed with me, cuddle while it rains outside and play games and be read to. The only silver lining to this cloud. Frankly the more I think about it I realise that God sometimes does what is best for you in His wisdom. The only way to take me off my feet and make me rest, was to literally take my legs away from me. Maybe this is time to take stock of my life and slow down.

Stay Β well you all.


147 thoughts on “What happened next

  1. Take care of your health..all else can wait. What happened, i thought a doc diagnosed you of a bone infection in the knees. ?? I remeber an old post of yours where you mentioned this.

    Knee replacements are very painful and NO you don’t deserve it at this age. So put everything aside, see a good doc and take plenty of rest.

  2. hugs MM!

    and LOTSA positive vibes being sent your way! get well soon!

    and even in this day and age there is nothing that can be done to make them knees better? hoping you find some special cure!

    hugs yet again!

  3. OMG! TMM, hugs and take care.

    Btw, here’s unsilicited gyaan…generally knees are considered areas of flexibility…when we get rigid n fearful n stubborn, they tend to act up. I dunno if this sounds like baloney to you, and that knee problems have myriad causes, but certain affirmations and life changes did help the pain n stiffness. Will email you. Mine are much better *runs from plate of cook’s crappy food flung at me*

    And yes your second last line is so true…my mom ended up flat on her back when she was rushing around caring for everyone except herself 😦

      • And you know MM, everytime I travel by bus or auto, my knee starts hurting excruciatingly coz I can’t stretch it out…I’d taken up a writing assignment that reqd me to commute for an hour cramped into the back of an auto (I’d be the woman hanging her leg outside into the traffic just to stretch the damned knee)…and I gave up, coz it wasn’t worth the pain. So imagine what 4 hours can do….no you don’t need to imagine it 😦

        Are you feeling better a bit??

    • too young. the life of a replacement is only 20 years so they dont give it to you unless they figure you dont have too much more than that to live 😦 right now I wonder if i have more than 20 at the rate i am going!

      • oh ok! that makes me scared for the 2 lovely oldies in my life.
        but isn’t there something else you can do? naturopathy or ayurveda?

  4. Next time I feel overwhelmed with the stuff going on in my life, I will just sit down and read this and then see my burdens shrink in comparison.
    But do take it easy MM.I am sure the kids will appreciate a healthy mom better than a perfect home with everything in place.
    take care and get well soon

  5. Oh. This sounds horrible! You take care, work, etc be damned. Hope you get better soon…but I do think you should take some time off even after that! Hugs.

  6. ((HUGS))

    gosh, that’s a lot to handle all together! Big hugs for you dear!

    agree with u on the last line. yep, God has his ways. And if you dont do as you shud, he forces u to. Oh well.

    Hope you get well soon dear. In the meanwhile, enjoy the kids, the rain, some hot pakodas and warm hugs.

  7. Flooding? How did your house flood? What happened? who left the taps on?
    On another note, appreciate the diktat from God and REST. No, fixing the house to make it a home is not the same as resting.
    Damn it, so did not mean to post a reply! All your fault!
    But now that i am here, lots of love too

  8. sounds like a lot to handle. You still having these blackouts – I remember you mentioned long long ago but if you still getting them , you have got to slow down.

    Why are you still reading ? Get offline and go to sleep. And no posting – errrr .. we’ll wait till you’re better (although I will sulk a lil)

  9. My dad used to tell my mom, that if you over work, God has his small ways of making you rest…Guess, this is God’s way of making you rest :):) on a more serious note, please take care of yourself…hugs πŸ™‚

  10. Ouch…lot of prayers for you! Hope you get well soon. Take care of your health..that is most important now. Let everything else take a backseat for a while! All the best!

  11. OH!!! Take care… and to quote my mom… “You cant take care of anyone unless you take care of yourself”.
    Feeling bad for you, but use this rest period to rebound. πŸ˜€

  12. Oh MM,this makes me feel troubled.
    You should get lots of rest.You lovely women,be up and running soon.
    My prayers are for you always,i would not want the knee to be chopped.

  13. Feeling sad after reading this…. I hope you get well really soon.

    Wishing you a speedy recovery, please take care of your health. Hugs to the babies.

  14. OMG, I hope you get better soon MM. Nothing is more valuable that your health, so take care and spend time with the kids, that will definitely perk you up.

  15. Here’s a prayer coming your way. Hugs. I wish I lived in Gurgaon, would have visited you with some food 😦
    I hope the rest helps – both physically and otherwise.

  16. Oh no! Please slow down MM. My mom learnt it the hard way. I thought the bone infection was treated & you were good! May God give you and your family the strength to get better! Hugs to you & the kids!

  17. Take care MM. I don’t comment often (my bad!) but got really scared on reading this. And I don’t know if you have done so but the cure for house flooding is rubber door seal – worked well in our house in GG. We had exactly the same problem of a swollen wooden floor.

  18. Oh Good God! Do get rest..loadssssss of it! We all get soooooooo caught up with wanting to live life n do everything that we have to do ,the very best, that automatically good health takes the last precedence, W/o realizing that that’s what we need to keep doing things. Hope u get well soon.

    Enjoi time with ur babies…n mabbe u can tell the babies that ur not doing so well, so that they can help u in the small ways that children can? W/o the hubby at home, sure u’ll need that.

    Hope u accept hugs from strangers….if Yes, here are some Get Well Soon Hugs for u !

  19. Does it help to know you and your family are remembered in my prayers? Hope you get up and about soon MM. Sending lots of hugs and positive thoughts your way.

  20. Monsoons are a bad season for joint pain. Nice decision to take some time off. Try to rest and take it easy. Prayers sent your way.

  21. Nothing is more important than your health. No one is more important than you. For only if you are fine, so is everthing and everyone else!! Puh-leese take care!! You deserve it you know!! πŸ˜‰

  22. Ouch! MM, what a nightmare in terms of logistics, this move is turning out to be!
    All moves are nightmares IMNSHO, but I think you’ve managed to make the case for NEVER moving anywhere, ever!

    Please do rest up – maybe this is time to reevaluate what you do?


      • Talking of your knee – you were supposed to send me test results to ask my brother abt…what’s the status on that??

  23. MM. please. rest. now. curtains and gas will fix somehow. forget them. read a book and enjoy the babies. the husbands invariably return (just when you think you have a nice life built around their absence).

  24. Oooh! How awful for you. Please remind me again, I must’ve missed the explanation, what exactly is the matter with your knees? Can really nothing be done? Okay don’t answer that now. You’ll feel like killing me for that!!

  25. Oh! Please take care. And give your body and mind some time off. They deserve it.

    *Hugs*. And I am in G’gaon too. So if I could ever be of any help, please feel free to let me know

  26. Okay, panicked, tried calling, couldn’t get through, panicked again and got on here to tell you that.
    If this is bone TB, I sure as hell hope you’re seeing an expert for it. Will try calling again tomorrow.
    REST, for Christ’s sake! Walking from room to room in that football field of a house is still work!

  27. Awww,you take care. Everything will be alright.
    I’m coming here after ages, and I have to clear the MM blog backlog so off I go. BIIIIIIIIG Squishy Hug.

  28. Hey What’s your problem, why can’t you rest? Come on go and sleep now. Remember how active are your parents now helping you out, taking care of your kids etc, you need to do the same thing to your kids, so REST WELL.

  29. Oh MM you have sure been having some serious bad luck! Poor dear, I don’t know what is worse- the knees, the maid crisis, the PCOS flare up(it completely sucks!) or the flooding of the apartment. Sending happy thoughts your way and adding you and yours to my prayers πŸ™‚ Big hug!

  30. Love you heaps and heaps. Reassess, realign and recuperate.

    stay calm and think clearly.

    Stay in the goddamn bed.

    Its all going to get better, baby.

  31. Take good care MM. Really feel bad about what you are going through. Please rest and even if I am going overboard, I am not going to reserve my comment here. Please find a job that is close to your residence or see if WFH will be an option. Commuting 4 hours a day minimum is not going to even maintain your health as it is.

  32. Hi,

    have been regularly reading your blog. Sorry that you are not feeling well. Things will take a turn for the better. Take care


  33. hi,
    first time here..am delurking!!
    I feel you are in urgent need of relaxing your mind and body with meditation, positive affirmations and happy thoughts.
    you obviously sound so overscheduled,overworked,tensed and restless in your mails..Take a chill pill and “don’t sweat the small stuff”.You can unknowingly pass on these traits(the -ve ones we all have)to your kids.
    Enjoy the time with kids.

  34. Sounds awful! Hope there is a better solution to the knee thing; I’m sure all the other things will sort themselves out. Hugs!

  35. Damn! u need some serious help. Pls email me a no. at which you can be reached. You can ignore me after things are better, but right now, am coming over with some stuff, and will take the kids out to the park for a couple of hours. Within your parenting norms, promise. When they are together, it doesnt matter if you are minding one kid or 3. errm.. are your kids allowd to climb trees? Thats the only thing Ishaan and i cannot miss in a park.
    No really, i mean it. Do you need a driver? I have a really gud driver who is looking for a GGN based opening.
    Will email you my no. bcs u have obviously lost all nos too.

  36. Have you considered taking a sabbatical and going with the kids to Nani/G’pa’s place for some much needed R & R ?

    Stress makes you feel pain more acutely – and slows down healing – you need a break !

    Take care. Hugs. Sending positive vibes your way

  37. MM, i say this very very very firmly:

    Pliss become a SAHM again. It works best for you! So so so sorry to hear about your knees. And the general calamities too. Just chuck it yaar!

    Get well soon,Pliss.


  38. i feel ya pain reading this about your knees. i’ve just undergone something similar and, thankfully, knees are feeling better post physiotherapy. i can understand how disheartening it feels when it dawns on you that you can’t do something as simple as walking (that we take for granted). hang in there. there has to be some resolution. it’ll take time of course but you should get better with proper care. do not give up!

  39. This post worries me, i agree with subha you need to find a job close by or WFH. Hope you are using some type of knee support bands or something.
    Jab life ho out of control honto ko kar ke gol, sitti baja ke bol, ALL IS WELL!

  40. MM,
    Hope things get better soon … health wise and with the help around.

    Do take lots of rest and are up and about real soon !

  41. Hey MM…Just throw away all your worries for now and enjoy the unasked for but bountifully given holiday with the children(ofcourse, with a painkiller..though, you being you might decide to brave it off and shove the painkillers under the bed!)
    Take care

  42. MM its okay. The freaking office folks, the blog world (Sorry)no one will be able to help you if you wont be able to help yourself. Please do take care of yourself. SLEEP!! My PCP always says that our bodies recuperate faster when we sleep a lot. The immunity is highes when we are sleeping all the energy goes towards fighting the infections etc. I think, the first thing you should do is, to force yourslef to sleep for 8 hrs atleast. Please do that…we all love you too much and would love to see the mad family happy and healthy!

  43. Ouch!

    Take care and hope everything will get better soon.

    This too shall pass…its nice that you can vent is this space!

  44. Omg, too much going on. Just thinking that you were happier, healthier when you were a SaHM. Why don’t you give it a try. Health comes first!!!!
    Will keep you in my prayers! πŸ™‚

  45. Hope you feel better soon. I always feel that I need to take care of myself first so I can take care of my child. If i am not well who will take care of my son. Even though family help but no one can replace a mother or father. Your children need you and for that you need to be healthy!!!!

  46. Hugs your way, but please slow down and take care of yourself. Saying this is rather easier then getting done. Bone infection, I have heard they use catheter lines with antibiotics to cure this? Is that true? SOmething like that is better then surgery right??

  47. I know you are already re-prioritizing MM … I don’t need to tell you that. I have been through this myself (4 hrs commute … no help and a 3 year old …. not to forget the workaholic husband) Its tough .. makes you want to snap at everyone …. especially the husband.

    Although you are home … don’t strain yourself too much. Take care.

  48. Tried calling today. I thought you would have gotten the old SIM blocked, and your number revived. Doesn’t seem so 😦
    Take care, MM. ((Hugs))

  49. MM,

    Just rest! I don’t know what to say.. except that bone fever cannot be taken lightly.. very worried for you. All the other things can be taken care of later one at a time. Why are husbands always travelling at the wrong time?


  50. While you are slowing down and reevaluating..come back to saddi delhi..am sure school addmission will happen here also..

  51. Take rest, Woman!!! Blackouts, Bone fever etc not to be taken lightly…. Rest and let your body heal… a week is not enough. Pls work out something for the long term…

  52. Am very worried after reading this…take care MM…slow down…and get better soon…you will be in my thoughts and prayers….

  53. So.

    Apparently people think you should get some rest. Tchah. I pity da fools.

    What you should really do is get a cycle and bike your kids to school, then cycle to work, then pick them up and run around with them (on the stairs, in the garden, around the hosue), then maybe wax your wooden floors and repaint your walls, all the while doing ballet.

    Take advantage of all the gullible sappy volunteers commenting on this post, and make them do all the running round. That’s what they were invented for. And give your knees a break. Before they bloody well break up with you.

  54. First, big hugs and lots of good wishes.

    Second, this could very well be a VERY good thing for you – this break, I mean. Get the bone infection treated ASAP, and rest… rest… REST! Even if it means unpaid leave for a month, REST!

    One of my schoolteachers broke her leg, stayed home for three months. I saw her in crutches about a month after the fracture, and she actually looked so much better than she’d been over the past few years. Sometimes, even a forced slowdown can be a huge blessing!

  55. Oki doki- heres something to make thou smile:

    Stay, stay at home, my heart, and rest;
    Home-keeping hearts are happiest,
    For those that wander they know not where
    Are full of trouble and full of care;
    To stay at home is best.

    ~ Henry W Longfellow, πŸ™‚

  56. So I take a year’s break from reading/writing blogs, and come back to an ill madmomma?! What the hell? I hope you are doing okay, considering everything. Knee problems are hellish.

  57. just stopped by to leave a line – if you really love your kids,don’t make them worry for your health.

    my mother has been very ignorant of her health for many years, busy taking care of the family. I’m now 26 and now that I understand what health means, I feel so unhappy and restless about the number of tablets that both my father and mother take.. I sob at nights silently into the pillow, feeling helpless about where to start solving the problem!

    Do not miss to teach your children Health! Live Healthy, and show them what it means.

      • good πŸ™‚ btw MM, off-context, I’m looking for that one post where you mentioned inter-caste marriage is probably not worth the pain that one has to go through in order to get approval from the families – read it long ago,not sure if I got the message right – did you ever mention anything like that?
        I’m surprised by that now, because I do not think that is right, and I cannot imagine that statement actually came from MM – the one who keeps falling in and out of love with the OA, even after 7 years! :-))

          • yes, it was probably painful for a short period, but good things like ‘a lifetime with a loved one’ are not for free πŸ™‚ πŸ˜‰
            So I’d be at peace if you could take those words back :-! because you see,right now I’m going through the same phase as you did, and parents keep telling the same thing – that irrespective of who the partner is, every marriage is the same. I want to tell them MM is happier than any other arranged marriage couple I know. :-! πŸ™‚

            • LOL! I dont know if I want to be beaten up by the arranged marriage walas.
              but i dont want to see any loved one of mine go through what the OA and I did. it left us scarred and showed us that families can have an ugly side. but no, not all marriages are the same. my parents have a brilliant one. i hope to grow into what they have

  58. Hope you get better soon. I’m not sure if any suggestions can be of help. So, I’ll pray and hope you get better soon.
    Take care.

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