A milestone met

.. by mama.

As luck would have it, I needed to travel for work for the first time since I started working, this week, missing the OA’s birthday, yesterday. *rolls eyes*

I got plenty of pep talk from friends. On how I needed to do this, my kids were 3 and 5 and old enough to stay without me, that my husband is brilliant with them and there was nothing to worry about. That was all very well. It was myself that I worried about. I didn’t know how I would react to leaving my kids and going on work. I found out soon enough.

I spent 2 weeks getting tense over a 2 and a half day trip. I’d feel my chest constrict and my breathing get laboured each time I thought of leaving my precious brats for something as trivial as a job. And it would bother me hugely. But what must be done, must be done. And I’d remind myself to breathe and get on with the day.

Two days before I left I’d laid out clothes for them for each day, sorted out their meals and snacks and basically done all that I could to feel that I was still in charge of their lives.

And then another something started to happen. I began to panic and imagine the worst. After the Mangalore crash there have been a few more near disasters like this and this. I was just not in the frame of mind where I wanted to travel at all.

I told the Brat I was going and he nodded casually and told the OA – “So we’ll go swimming when mama is away.”

The Bean ignored me.

I packed, I am proud to say, really well. All my stuff came into a biggish handbag I own, including a change of footwear, toiletries and gifts for friends. I felt quite professional πŸ˜€

And then the morning of my departure dawned bright and clear and I began to get nervous about everything. Basically transferring my misery over leaving the kids to everything else. Thankfully the kids were asleep when I left and that was one less thing to worry about. “What if I lose my ticket? What if I get onto the wrong aircraft?” I asked the OA who grinned, remembering the girl he married, who would travel ticketless, hop off trains and on to running trains, fly around on work and do all of that without a thought, until she gave birth to her brats!

I reached the airport and felt rather lost. I had barely any luggage and my hands felt weird. I gave it some thought and realised what was missing – the kids! I am so used to holding two little hands as I check in that I didn’t know what to do with mine! I looked at my reflection in the window and the girl who looked back at me in black tights, a loose grey shirt and gladiators on her feet didn’t look incomplete at all. She looked just fine.

Reassured, I continued on my way, picked up a book at the airport and plugged in my iPod and gave myself up to the pleasures of Van Morrison’s music. Almost missing my flight. My colleague who was late herself, frantically called me to say she was clearing security and running to the departure gate. They were announcing for us and I of course had missed all the announcements! Damnit Β – to arrive an hour early and still almost miss your flight is a bit much! We made it just in the nick of time.

I landed in Bombay and my cousin picked me up and took over where the OA leaves off so that I didn’t need to do anything but get out of the humidity, settle into air conditioned comfort and go back to having someone take care of me! Β I had mailed him my tickets and copied him on all mails to friends so he just took me from one venue to another and indulged me while I caught up with college friends I hadn’t met in ages. Ah- this is what family is all about!

The thing with meeting college friends is that you just go back in time and you’re back to cursing that bitch of a professor who flunked your entire batch, the class ice queen, the joker who made it big and so on and so forth. Not too many of my friends are married and its always nice to have them look at me approvingly and say – “Thank God, you’re not like those mothers who can’t stop talking about their kids!” At which point I mentally thank my lucky stars that I have my blog to vent about my kids and my real life conversation is pretty much sanitised of all mommy-talk.

Two days were spent on office work and the nights spent partying it up from one restaurant to another and spending time with my cousin and his friends. I think I needed this. Simply because in Bombay, I was just a woman who was down from Delhi on work. Which means the single men are a little more charming than they would be, should you mention that you’re a mother of two. And other girls chat about everything under the sun, unhindered by the assumption that you are incapable of talking about anything beyond your spawn! I Β guess 31 isn’t all that old since they kind of assumed I was single too! And I nervously checked my forehead to see if the tattoo saying MOTHER was still there. It seems to have disappeared.

The kids were fine. I thought they’d miss me but the Brat spoke to me very sweetly on the phone. “It’s not Bombay, it’s Mumbai,” he corrected me, little Shiv Sena brat! The Bean refused to talk . “Are you angry, darling?” I asked. No, she said, “I’m not angry, I’m sad.” It’s amazing how early women are in touch with their emotions and how clear they are. The night I left though, was a bad one for the OA. The Brat had a terrible ear ache and it took 3 people to hold him down for the drops. He fell asleep whimpering and soon was out of his pain. At which point the Bean figured it was time to show her father what her mother often has to go through, by throwing up all over the bed. When I called the OA at 1 am, back from the partying, he whispered into the phone ‘Shhh… I’ve just put them both to sleep, cleaned them up, changed the sheets, and now I am pooped.” Β I grinned into the phone. The kids have this knack of falling ill each time the OA travels and I go nuts handling them both through the night. It’s good to see they didn’t discriminate!

The trip back was uneventful until the cabin crew locked the door and the captain announced that we were going to be flying lower because of a ‘technical problem’. If I weren’t strapped in and the doors not armed, I’d have bolted right then. What kind of sadist tells you there is a technical problem, as he starts taxi-ing?!

The OA was picking me up and I was hoping to land in Delhi before midnight to atleast wish him in person before his birthday got over. It was not to be. I missed his birthday by a half hour and now I am thinking of ways to make it up to him. Suggestions are welcome.


50 thoughts on “A milestone met

  1. If you find any awesome ideas, pass them on. R’s birthday on 23rd, so.. :))

    And hawwww you left Bean and Brat behind and went off to Bombay? :O Next time let me baby sit them please please! πŸ˜€

  2. Whats with you both…OA missed your B’day coz he was travelling and you missed his b’day coz you were travelling πŸ˜‰

    BTW i second ritu on how to make up for the lost day πŸ˜‰

    • hah! i KNEW he had missed mine. Did I blog about it? The man gave me so much grief and I could swear he missed my birthday but I couldn’t remember. I love you!!!

  3. Aww.. I remember feeling the same way when I was in Gurgaon ( and you didnt meet me – insert sad smiley here) But then, I had an MIL, FIL and a P taking care of her. I soo agree!!

  4. The kids didn’t discriminate and fell ill when u were traveling too! *grin*

    Traveling for work suckkkks big time. I have to leave the country at least once a month, and nowadays i end up packing only about a half hour before i have to leave and reach the airport in the nick of time, every time!

    And I like the negligee idea. Though clichΓ©d, it works every time! ;o)

  5. Missed hubby’s B’day and then asking friends/followers for suggestions to make up.. you are in for some trouble MM πŸ™‚

  6. Proud of u gurl…u started travellin’… that too you missed the OA ka Happy wala b’day…make it up, make it up…and do let us know how….

    • arre no. i have a gift for him. gifts were all arranged. and one more to come in a few days…
      but i wanted to do something to make up for not being there. now that i realise he was missing on my birthday too, he can go jump!

  7. Wicked cool!

    Borrowing from a certain Mr. Adams, if you were any more cool, I’d be sorely tempted to store a side of meat inside you!

    Tell the OA he is one lucky guy to have you! And yes, many, many happy returns to him!


  8. Sounds like a wonderful trip! Good to find the inner non-mommy part of you:)
    I think every woman needs a trip like this once in a while.

    • ahem. you really want to go down that road? remember we were supposed to meet and you ran away?!
      anyway this time you’d have felt very out of place because i had only late nights ( post 9) to meet friends and it was college friends and family. i’ll tell you next time and you better not run away then!

      • totally below the belt that was…*sulk*. just ‘cos we don’t do crowds well – doesn’t mean you couldn’t have ruined your two days of “freedom” being with my kids. der hi sahi – can always land up at my place na? (don’t forget the advance notice – so you don’t feel like you need to wear a bio-hazard suit to live here).

  9. I love travelling especially to places where I have friends.. As someone on the other side of the marriage line, it feels ‘xxx’ (can’t describe how it feels. Perhaps Beanie can help) simply different with meeting the girls u knew at college. I have always felt that the passage of time affects girls more than boys.what do u think? BTW u should get out on trips like this more often.

    • you’re right. i think time affects women more. men stay boys at heart. i wonder why.
      as for more trips… πŸ™‚ I think the pleasure of this one was simply because its rare!

  10. oh, btw, HAPPY B’DAY OA πŸ˜€

    we all get so caught up in your wife’s narrative – that we sometimes miss the obvious.

  11. Thats certainly a biiiiiiiiig milestone MM !
    How did the kids react next day morning when they saw you?

    Most of your friends are unmarried ??? Almost all from my class are married and we are almost the same age πŸ™‚ (ok .. I am a year older)

    • πŸ™‚ yeah but mine are all media friends from big cities. two factors that indicate late marriages!
      when i had the brat one of my friends went into shock and couldnt speak for a while.

      both kids reacted quite happily. not one minute of reproach. so i guess all is well πŸ™‚

  12. Ahhh you mommy bloggers are supposed to ASSUAGE not pile on the mommy guilt. You met your milestone after 5 years??? I am getting ready for a work trip in 2 weeks leaving my eight month old. Kill me now. Besides pumping enough milk to flood aarey milk colony I don’t know what else to do. Again, yes, I am concerned about me. Mostly because I think she will not recognize me when I return. Aisa hota hai kya? How would you know. Milestone indeed.

    • err.. WE mommy bloggers? you’re one too!
      They always recognise us. dont worry πŸ™‚
      and if you ask me, I’d not have done this trip till they were 8 atleast. so I’m obviously not the right person to ask!

  13. You missed it!!!! After all that juggling around!! Alas and alack. I say a weekend away without the kids. And lots of sexy negligees should make up…..

  14. It’s good to see they didn’t discriminate! – “Evil Woman”

    Do you welcome naughty naughty ideas????? πŸ™‚

  15. Well for starters … it was not his Birthday yet in many parts of the world. So technically you did not really miss it…you were a slightly relocated …time zone wise. A big fat breakfast is probably a good start !! πŸ™‚

  16. Hey MM, I was wondering if parents all over are so cool with children puking and being ill, that they don’t rush to the doctor at the first symptom. I ask this because my sis and brother-in-law are also like this.

    I would have been rushing to the doctor! May be I am being just paranoid.

    And you were almost about to miss the flight! Haha, i have been there, that too in a foreign land, i was busy shopping and forgot to hear the announcements. But usually i swing from extreme to extreme, either asking the crew when do we check in, way before time or almost being the last one!

    BTW, hope the shifting is a smooth one, and that you are able to rest for at least a day after that.

  17. these days i enjoy getting away (in short bursts). i especially like going to mumbai! good job girl! travel to chennai next. go on, you can do it.

  18. the first time i was away from arhaan i was just happy that I had my breasts to myself (obviously I was not travelling in a bombay local or a delhi bus to work!! hee hee they would have made me feel right at home) but I have yet to do the overnight trip sigh…just wathcing a movie on my own and coming out to see the dad and son waiting for me has me all ” welled up”

  19. awww… so sweet… glad you had a nice time with your friends πŸ™‚

    i know that feeling – feeling lost when someone you are used to is not around you.

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