It is Sunday morning and Mama has chores to attend to and Dada is working at the dining table on his laptop. It’s hot as hell outside and the babies insist on making conversation with Dada who is groaning at the interruptions and because he cannot go against his own polite, patient nature, he is answering each annoying question.
Not that ejecting them hadn’t been considered. But you throw them out through this door, they come in from the other door. You lock the door, they bang till you let them in. You open the door – they insist on bringing all their toys and piling them in a heap in the middle of the living room. And the chatter won’t stop – Dada, look, this is a Maglev train.. shall I tell you how fast it goes? Dada, will you draw me an elephant?
Finally Mama takes matters into her hands. She comes in, and pretends to take an imaginary hammer and nails and boards up the room between the babies and Dada. ‘Okay babies’, she says, ‘this is a wall and behind it is a big monster. You stay safe that side and don’t cross over. Dada will let you out after he kills the monster. Now shhhh… stay quiet or the monster will come looking for you and eat you up… “‘
For two minutes there is silence as little brains absorb this bit of information and Mama can’t believe her success. Dada nods approvingly at Mama who returns to her chores. But all good things must come to an end and soon there are excited giggles. Whispers. Five minutes later – pandemonium.
The crash of a chair. A door slams somewhere. A maid screams as a bucket of swabbing water is knocked over and there are hysterical shrieks as two little crusaders run around the house combating and slaying imaginary monsters, leaving death and destruction in their wake.
Dada looks at Mama – “Babe, next time you want to help, please don’t!”
Right. Genius is just not appreciated around here.