Dear Brat and Bean,
Can I apologise? Apologise for every night that I’ve crawled into your bed when you’re fast asleep, just to bury my nose in your neck and cry? I don’t know why I do it. But sometimes it does seem like the world is getting too much. That I have too much to do and too little time. That you are growing up too fast. That your father doesn’t appreciate me. That the days are too hot and the nights too long. That there’s too much crime in the world that I brought you into and too little hope. It’s mostly pointless so I don’t know why I do it.
Maybe its not that. Maybe its just for that baby powder smell you still carry. Or that slightly spitty smell as you drool in your sleep. Maybe its the softness of the cheeks. Or the warmth in the curve of your neck.
All I know is that when I bury my nose there.. just right there, I am reminded of the story of baby Krishna opening his mouth to show his mother the whole world in there. Well, on those nights, my whole world shrinks and its right there. Right in the curve of your neck.
I love you,