Apparently I’ve been had

I’m glad Amrita drew my attention to Love Jihad. It’s an evil, depraved, low scheme. I’ve been married almost 7 years now but it’s never too late to be given a heads up.  I’m so glad I caught on to the OA’s downright execrable agenda! I plan to take this to court too.

Not just the OA but my other brothers in law will be sued.  We’re 7 or 8 Christian girls from, get this – the SAME family – all married to non-Christian guys from different parts of the country and the world. But I am positive it’s a conspiracy. And I’m going to rope Jawahara in to help me although I am convinced that she’d be a useless ally considering her own plan flopped so miserably! Actually any other women in inter-religious marriages who would like to sign up? And don’t listen to this lady either – she’s not rabid enough a fanatic to be on our side.

And thats not all – our husbands are going to try and get us to bear non-Christian children from our ‘Christian’ wombs. I assure you  – my womb is a very Christian one – it even has a cross tattooed on it and I am horrified at what it has been victim to. The OA has successfully got two specimens from my womb.

But it will have to end with me. I’m going to be sending bags of condoms to my aunts and cousins – all blessed by …errr (damn, the Pope won’t be blessing them, seeing that they’re condoms – and I’m not Catholic so I doubt I’d get his blessings on any of my wild schemes anyway)  – well, blessed by me then, so that their heinous plot is fouled.  Apparently some priests are also on to this scummy scheme and have commented in – hold your breath – the Mid-day, that upholder of all that is true and well-researched!

The Hindu of course is talking through its hat! As is expected. I prefer to trust this “Omniscient” gentleman (gotta love the handle!) who has among other things made a blanket statement on the Hindu girls coming from richer families than the Muslim boys. And the boys coming from suffocating Islamic backgrounds. Wow – even my sarcasm is ill-equipped to deal with this. No more cracks at the poor OA are forthcoming. Sheer outrage at the idiocy of some of the commenters.

When I read shit like this it depresses me beyond measure. For every step forward that I imagine we’ve taken, there’s an idiot somewhere dragging us back by about 500 years and then some. For instance, here’s an adult woman admitting to have willingly converted and married her lover – who are we to jump in and tell her she’s mistaken and actually, without her knowledge, been forced into a larger, foul scheme? I’m thinking of calling up all the women I know who have made free choices for the sake of love – be it conversion, switching to vegetarianism or non-vegetarianism, moving cities or countries, learning a new language, taking their husband’s surname, taking on old and infirm in-laws or any of a 100 other things that you do for love – and informing them that they’ve been had. That this was not something they wanted to do. Oh no – something foul is afoot – and it’s a man who is messing with your head and you are nothing but a link in a larger evil plan. Capisce?

He couldn’t possibly have fallen in love with you for the person you are. Oh no – you’re certainly not worthy of his love. Now get the eff out of his way and let him get on with his plan. And there is certainly no credit due to you for being a thinking, intelligent woman who might have chosen to do something for the sake of your man, your marriage and your future life together. And no, we’re certainly not going to stop and ask what he might have done for your sake. No sirree, we have better things to do and snappier judgments to make.

And the cheek of it! The unmitigated gall… The parents are being given “custody” of their adult daughters. I’m just thinking my father wouldn’t live to see the next day if he ever tried something like that on me. It also amazes me that the courts don’t realise that at this point, the unhappy family will accuse the other of just about anything if their child marries against their wishes (speaking from personal experience here!). And religion, sadly, just walks neatly into that trap.

Just when I think we can raise our heads after the shame of the Rizwanur case (speaking of which, there seems to be no new development in the last year, although I did find this) we make a public ass of ourselves by coining such phrases, letting them go on record in a court of law *shudder,* oh the shame and ugh – people over the world watching us make a spectacle of ourselves over what is a private matter between a man and a woman.

When will we learn not to allow our lives and our loves to be manipulated by those with political ulterior motives.

Getting back to the matter at hand, my cousins shall be intimated tomorrow and we shall go to court against all the men who have married us against our wills, and made us pawns in their evil game. And custody of our poor weak minds and bodies shall be returned to our parents (I can see my parents packing their bags and heading off indefinitely to destinations unknown, at the thought of me being returned to them). See you on the other side of the court case then.

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34 thoughts on “Apparently I’ve been had

  1. And the best part of it is NONE of these idiots have the least idea why their POV is offensive to women. Like, not even the glimmer of an inkling.

    Anyhoo, best of luck with all your litigation! I shall be at home stitching proverbs to hang on my wall as befits a decent young unmarried ladies.

  2. I am tired of the drivel that people keep coming up with. Don’t they have lives of their own or are they trying to compensate for something inadequate? I wish, that someone will just make these people shut up. There are people dying everyday of starvation, disease and other horrible things, and yet, yet these people choose to focus on meaningless things. I know its better to ignore such people and their stupid belief’s but, it just makes me want to scream in frustration. Bah

  3. ah so much anchoring..sometimes i think all these shit are brought by the media just to get some new sellable shit into the stream.. othertimes i think we are all quire sane according to mr.insane…you can make it ms.insane if you want..free

  4. The infantilisation of women…who’re called girls even at age 30…they’re ‘allowed’ to make their own decisions occasionally…but basically considered brainless possessions of their families…and then their in-laws.

    Loved your rant MM…you’re a voice of reason in this.

  5. This reminds me of a line from Madagascar 2, where the mad lemur tells the crowd of animals that if they throw one of the animals into the volcano as sacrifice, then he can convince the rain god to bring rain. All the animals go crazy and start screaming when the giraffe(in love with a hippo and heartbroken, poor thing) offers himself up, the crowd goes willld and the lemur says ” let’s do it quickly before everyone comes to their senses”.

    • Okay you just made me smile in the middle of my rant. Yes. I recall that. Its amazing – the kind of stuff they come up with in the middle of a so called kiddy cartoon.

  6. heh! it’s funny and so very very sad at the same time! ONE crazy and yet, verrry sane guy (cos he knows exxxxactly what he’s doing)… controlling the rest of them just cos they don’t have common sense!

    • there’re plenty of those you know. just read Amrita’s comments for a reality check. I keep wondering if people are making it up and when I realise that even the ‘learned’ courts are sending adult women back to their parents – I give up all hope. Thanks again for reminding me of that scene. Mob hysteria takes things to a different level

  7. Whenever I even think of this love-jihad crap I can’t figure out whether I should be depressed, enraged, or amused. It’s sickening, isn’t it?

    I guess in my case I did the love-jihad. What does that make me? I trapped this poor, unsuspecting, nice Hindu boy. Now I will make him do evil, Islamic deeds. Muaaa haaaa…muaaah haaaa. Oh wait….no one can hear me because of my hijab, and crawl out of my repressive home. I’m a Muslim woman, ya know. I *have* to live up to *all* my stereotypes.

    The saddest part is that people like us who are conduits between different religions/castes/regions/countries get trapped in these strange no-man’s lands. We’re the targets of the crazies from all sides.

    You know how I wasn’t sure what to feel? Well, right now, the depression is winning.

    All we needed was this dumb movie because the movies are all based on reality you know.

    • come on J, we can’t let these idiots get us down. I suggest we send our nice Hindu husbands to do some love jihad on our behalf and beat the idiots up. They only seem to understand violence. Rational dialogue of any sort won’t make any impact!

  8. My friend’s sister(a Muslim) eloped and married a Hindu guy, went to the police and then informed parents. Both the families accepted them without much ado, and (here’s the best part) the guy converted into Islam willingly by his own choice. His parents supported his decision even if he is the only son (they were pretty civil). Now the couple has been blessed with 2 kids, both the families are happy, they meet regularly to celebrate birthdays and both Hindu and Muslim festivals.

    Love Jihad eh? Ask those twits to figure this one out!

  9. We in India face no shortage of other people telling us they know better.

    Parents telling their adult sons and daughters they know better about their marriage partners, Religious people claiming that people are being “duped” into converting, or the government banning movies and books saying it’ll “hurt the sentiments of others”.

    And you’re right to observe that no one seems to find any of this insulting! I wonder why? Does it not occur to them? If they’re told it’s insulting, do they believe it? If not why not?

  10. I was wondering when you were going to write about this!

    I’m the victim of a kind of love jihad myself…I let this boy from another caste drag me down from my Brahmin perch and lower me, knowing fully well that by allowing him to do so meant my father losing his Brahminhood and starting the cycle of life all over…

    Shame on him. And shame on me for allowing him to do so!

  11. There might be tonnes of more important cases pending for those courts and yet here they are focusing on something this comical!

  12. On a different note, I was going through the comments on Amrita’s blog. I was looking at the first two lines of your argument mad momma and was like “seriously you can come with better arguments than this”. But only when I finished reading the entire comment of yours did I realize that your argument was laced with sarcasm.

  13. Subah ka bhoola shaam ko ghar aa jaye, to woh boola nahi kahlata…

    Der aayad(?), durust aayad(?)

    Trying to visualize OA as Prem Chopra…
    You help me here 🙂

    If the courts can reduce punishment or set free the rapist, if he *aggrees* to marry the victim, then what is happening here is just candy floss romance

  14. “I assure you – my womb is a very Christian one – it even has a cross tattooed on it” — Me too, me too. Thanks to C-for Christ-section, LOL!!

    Loved your post as I’d alluded to, over at Amrita’s. I’m the resident babbling-baboon over on her blog, btw (in the off chance you haven’t divined that by now), speaking of which I too loved Sonia’s M2 reference. Apropos!

    And here’s one for you and Jawahara and all the others who made the Mega Mistake of falling in love. It’s a line from the movie Paycheck I saw last night. Uma Thurman says to her lover, Ben Affleck, “Some of the best things in life are total mistakes.” May you enjoy your “mistakes” for ever and ever! 😀

  15. oh! i think most of us have been had!!

    i mean if thackrey can raise objection about tendulkar saying Mumbai belongs to all, am sure he is maha upset about losing marathi speaking zealot that our son could have been! IF i ahdnt married a north indian and not cared a damn about what language he speaks as long as he is understood! gah!

    we just keep coming up with most ridiculous stuff!

  16. Count me in. My ‘non-brahmin’ womb is not yet welcome at the “chaste, brahm, snooty” in laws, and my mom would have a heart attack if I was sent back. She did planted the ‘elope if the in laws yap’ germ in my mind!

    Oh and we’re both hindus. And yet my marriage is considered wrong. Can you imagine what’s wrong with the world!!!

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