How I got the better of the Brat

The Brat is a gentle child. A gentle but stubborn child. Which makes it very hard to get mad at him. Every few days he throws an almighty tantrum and fighting it back in the way I’ve practiced and patented over the last 30 years doesn’t seem to work – which is to scream right back at the offender.

But motherhood hasย a way of telling you to take your attitude and shove it. Which is what it did to me.

So the latest is the Brat’s notion of ‘never’.

MM: Brat, let’s go for a bath. I’ll let you come back and build your train

Brat: No you won’t. You never let me build trains. NEVERRRRRRRRRR.

At this point it’s my duty to inform you that the ‘never’ is said in the sweet tones of a broken trumpet. Inducing you to cover your ears and run for cover.

MM: Brat, time for school, you can come back and play with water.

Brat: No, I won’t. You never let me play with water. NEVERRRRRRRRRRRRR.

And then recently at baby T’s birthday: I want cake!

OA: Yes, you’ll get cake, hold on. Let Aunty cut a piece and you’ll get some.

Brat: No, she won’t give me any cake. She NEVERRRRRRRRRRRR gives me any cake.

You get the drift, right?

So one evening he was off to the park while I worked and as I fastened his sneakers I had a brainwave.

MM: Brat, you’re going to the park?

Brat: Yes mama.

MM: Don’t leave me. Please don’t go.

Brat: I’ll come back soon, mama.

MM: No you won’t. You always leave me. You NEVERRRRRRRRRRRR come back to me. I am always aloooooooooooone.

A startled Brat. You could almost see the wheels turning ‘ Hey, that’s my line!!’

He rushed to console and hug me. ‘No mama, I’ll come back. Really. Promise.’

MM: I don’t believe you.

Brat: No, you see… I’ll come back soon.

And then he left me, smiling, waving, blowing kisses and promising to come back soon.

An evil mother grinned back at him innocently. ‘Hah! That should give him a taste of his own medicine!’

And err.. I haven’t heard the ‘NEVERRRRRRRRRRRR’ in a while now.

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33 thoughts on “How I got the better of the Brat

  1. good strategy, i shud remember to use that when my time comes! thanks MM for sharing your wonderful tales on parenting! Always wonderful to listen to other mommies!

  2. You wicked woman, trying to get the better of an angel! Bah! NEVERRRRRRRRR try to outwit a child, NEVERRRRRRR!

  3. Oooooooooo!! Loverly! And sneaky too!

    I like! I like very much!

    Am going to use this the next time I hear, “But you NEVERRRRR buy me anything!” or “NEVERRRRRR let me play!” or “NEVERRRRR give me omlettes!” or…sigh, you get the picture, don’t you!

  4. OMG.. what an evil way of screwing with the little guy’s head! Not fair I say.. I hate it when people (read, mom) steal my lines and play them back. ๐Ÿ˜€

  5. My bro’s son also says the same thing. You NEVER let me play gameboy.
    He is allowed to play from 9 AM on Sundays. He wakes up by 6 ( yes he is one of those bratty ones) and asks everyone the time. And the question is like.. is it nine o clock ?
    and if you say no.. he says..many years will pass and it will never be nine o clock..

    I think kids when they are angry do not comprehend time.. and even a minute is like a century to them..

  6. Awww… You shouldn’t have done that! That “NEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR” of his was sounding so cute!

    Don’t you miss his saying it?

  7. “And err.. I havenโ€™t heard the โ€˜NEVERRRRRRRRRRRRโ€™ in a while now.”

    Oh Really ….Never? Neverrr? NEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR????
    Never Ever…..:)huh

  8. Ha.. Look! I am first.. I am First… I am First….. ( Sings Happily in the Tune Hare Ram Hare Raam.. Hare Krishna Hare Raam)

  9. When my girlfriend was a little baby, she apparently used to bite people. She stopped when her mom retaliated by biting her! He he he.

  10. You are really mean, I always wanted to do that but never could find the right moment…you are very clever too…Now I will find ways and strategise so that i can teach a similar lesson to my troublesome duo.

  11. Pingback: Triple S (SSS) Syndrome « Liferightnow

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