Happy Birthday my Darling Bean

My darling little baby,

As I sit to write this post, the pressure gets to me. How do I tell a two year old what she’s done to my life? Will you read this at 15 and roll your eyes in disgust? Or will you read it at 30, which is my age now, and smile fondly? Will you understand why this mad woman has been cranky and fighting with your father for days now? Will you know what it feels like for my little teeny baby to turn into a pre-schooler? I sure hope so. Its been amazing being a young mother and I hope you’ll let me be a young grandmother!! What??? Don’t roll your eyes at me young lady, I did it for your grandmother!

So much is running through my mind as I type this. You’re the baby I planned more than 15 years ago. The one I just knew I would have. The beautiful, spirited little girl who would be everything I was hoping to be and much more. And then when I was expecting the Brat, five years ago I kept wondering. Something deep down told me it would be a boy. Because you see, I knew that I would know when you came. Don’t ask me how, but I would just know.

And I did. I knew the day I was pregnant with you. Without the home test. Unlike others who are nervous right through, I was positive it was a little girl. God could not, in His mercifulness, deny me what I wanted so badly. And when you came out – bawling your head off, red cheeked and angry at being ripped out of your cosy home, I gulped in terror. What had I asked for? A holy terror?!

And then you quietened into this happy little, quiet baby – only bright beady eyes blinking out of a blanket. Fed, burped and put to bed. The Brat was in his element in those days and it was so easy to forget the quiet little newborn. You took your time and then one day you just took over.Β  I don’t know when it happened but before I knew itΒ  – my little star was born.

The last year was spent with you being Daddy’s girl. All the way. It was good because your first year had you being this cranky, clingy child. You’d howl like a baby hyena if anyone other than me touched you and it wasn’t flattering, it was just back breaking, it made me give your brother less time and you were an embarassment to this family of 3 other wildly sociable members (read about it in my old blog when you do!). Your Dada was really upset because the Brat would respond to him beautifully and the daughter everyone promised him would adore him, was shunning him. He tried his best, to give him his due, but you were having none of it. You wanted mama. And since mama had prayed so hard for you – she learnt to rise to the occasion and deal with it.

And then you turned one and like a little thali ka baingan you went over to his side. And I watched, bereft, from the outside. All of this last year you’ve worshipped the ground he walks on. And then, in what seems to be your way of messing with our heads, you’re back to being my little tail.

Which is not to say you’re anti-social/shy again. But that in the last month you’ve favoured me over him. And we’re back to square one, with me being flattered but tired. No problem. I’d like it to stay this way. Every second word is mama, the maid is allowed to do nothing for you (why am I wasting money on her??!). Come to me mama, I want to sleep with you mama, Mama draw for me, Mama I want to sit in your godi, mama, mama, mama. And every time your little voice says my name, I smile. I love it. Being mama to you, has completed my life, completed me. There’s so little else left to ask for.

I’m thinking of stuff you might want to know about yourself and I can’t imagine what would interest a young, smart Bean of 25.

Will I remember to tell you how you insisted on putting everything in your mouth, all of your second year? Or that you spoke so much more than any other kid I’ve ever come across? That you are a gutsy little creature and other parents watched in terror as a one year old you insisted on hitting the bouncy castle with your 3 year old brother and other much older children? That thereafter there was no looking back and you’ve done everything the Brat does, from perfectly executed somersaults toΒ  leaping off the bed to land on a strategically placed bean bag. That you have an elephant’s memory and retain things we mention in passing? That you worship your brother but often discipline him more than we do – ‘Baba – don’t touch anything !! Put that down. Right now. Don’t do naughty, naughty. Okay?’ While your father and I do the guppy act and look on.

So let me ask you – because I doubt much will change in the next 20 years. What is it like to be the centre of attention in this house? To be adored by your brother and worshipped by your parents? Yes, even the old grouch who tries to act like he’s above it all, has been caught looking at you devotedly. As for me, I make no secret of it.

I watch your little skinny baby limbs turn lanky and take shape. They’re no longer just baby limbs.. they’re delicate, girly limbs. I examine your stubby little ugly toes for the nth time and sigh. Maybe this is your father’s blessing. The black mark to take away the evil eye – because other than that, I think you’re perfect! *looking over my shoulder to check if your father is reading this!*

I wonder what kind of girl you will grow to be. You are so at home in the ratty hand me down tees and shorts your brother wore and yet you want to wear a bindi and bangles. Aunty Noon has sent the most gorgeous dress for your birthay. I tried it on you and you took my breath away….

Well, I’ve cried, I’ve laughed, I’ve hugged you, I’ve squeezed the juice out of you and you’ve just tucked your head into my shoulder in that endearing way you have and let me be. It’s almost like your gift to me. Mama can do anything because mama cut her tummy and took you out of there. Oh yes, thats another thing you like to do – lift up my shirt and play with the c-sec scar. And ask me if you came from there. Yes my angel. You did. And now you live a little higher. Right in mama’s heart.

Perhaps the one thing I’ve left out in this post is how you’ve filled a place that lay empty for a while. The place your great grandmother left 3 years ago. You have her tiny build, her ferocious temper, her beautiful delicately shaped face – not the square face that your Nani and I share, her grace, and her way of filling up a room just by being in it. I often believe that she looked down from heaven and saw how much I ached for her and sent you in her own image. Well my baby, if you are half the woman she was – I’ll not need to worry.

God bless you my life, my love, my pride and my joy.

I love you baby…

Mama

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137 thoughts on “Happy Birthday my Darling Bean

  1. Happy Birthday to The Bean!

    Boy… Just yesterday I said she seems so tiny and now I see her β€” two years old, beady eyed, bright, feisty, adorable β€” and I’m sitting here wondering what the heck happened? Did she really grow up THAT much already? And very strangely I’m feeling like something got lost and cannot be retrieved.

    Love.

  2. Dear MM,

    I have been a long time reader here and have always enjoyed your posts.

    This post brought tears to my eyes. Like the bean, my first daughter was someone I was longing to have for a long time and after a difficult pregnancy I delivered a beautiful daughter.

    Every sentence in this post rings with your pride at being the mom to a beautiful daughter. May you enjoy many many birthdays with her and see her blossom in life.

    Lots of birthday wishes to the Bean and hugs to the Brat.

    Lakshmi

  3. alle soo cute!!
    Happy Birthday Beanie! :))
    (((Hugs))to the birthday girl:)

    I just wrote on the previous post after looking at your new header…”arre when did Beanie turn 2?”and then is aw this post…

    this is so touching and so beautiful MM..

    she will love this when she is 15 ,when she is 30 and when she is 80…coz a motehr’s love shines through…

    and look at that sparkle in her eyes.. πŸ™‚

    god bless you and yours MM..and brat and the Beanie are already so special arent they? πŸ™‚

  4. Aww…..you’re going to make the Bean cry when she’s all grown up and reads this post! It’s so beautiful!

    And you’ve posted pics of the Bean after so long and I’m amazed at how ‘grown up’ she looks, especially in the first picture, where I felt like her eyes already have character.

    Well, Happy Birthday Beanie! Have a wonderful and very very safe and happy 2nd year!

  5. happy birthday dear bean…may you bring happiness to all around you…god bless….you look awesome in the blue frock.. a real cinderella in the making

  6. Ohhhh MM – you brought tears to my eyes. What a beautiful baby girl and a beautiful way of celebrating her πŸ™‚

    I hope that not only she is half the woman your grandmother was, but the other half comes straight from you πŸ™‚

    Happy 2nd birthday darling Bean – I wish you all the happiness in the world πŸ™‚

  7. She looks stunning in her blue outfit…oh man I want to wear it! πŸ™‚ She really seems like your grandmother from the way you describe both of them…My heartfelt wishes for her on her birthday – I wish for her the strength and courage your grandmother had…and good health and happiness always.
    Tight hugs to her and her hero brother.

  8. Happy birthday, Beanie rockstar!

    MM, you’ll be the death of me, woman, with your senti posts.. sitting here well past midnight sobbing and sniffly – waaay past ugly cry. I have a milestone coming up soon, (18 months)and this is just too much right now!:(

    the first photo should be blown up like a rock poster and hung up in your living room. BTW, you were a super stunning kid yourself. I remember the picture of you with your grandmother and brother.

  9. Reading this post bought tears to my eyes:) I have a 2 year old daughter too and love her to death too:) Little girls are angels sent from above, they are just the best. Your daughter is super cute and super adorable. May she be blessed with all the happiness in the world.
    You write really well:)

  10. Happy B’day to the Bean ! πŸ™‚ Hope she has a great great one . and did I tell u .. she has pretty big eyes πŸ™‚

    -Aditi

  11. Happy Birthday to Beanie. May her life be full of happiness and cheer and chips:-) (that’s what I remember her eating) Have fun and give her a big smooch on my behalf.

  12. A beautiful post MM .Darling Beanie baby – praying to God that you grow up to be a wonderful young woman .You are a special little baby most special little girl. Lots of love xoxox

  13. Just seems like yesterday when we saw pics of her first πŸ™‚ Wish her a very happy birthday ! The pics are precious – God bless her .

  14. OMG! I see her pics after a few months and she is all grown up and changed into this beautiful little child with the most charming smile! Wow!!!!

    Happy Birthday darling Beanie! I still can’t believe she has changed so much MM! Wow! I can’t stop saying wow…

  15. Happy B’day to the lovely little lady with the prettiest golden curls πŸ™‚

    And what a fantastic treasure-house of gifts you’re leaving her with MM. One of those days when she’s turned old enough to read, she’s going to sniff and bawl on her birthday πŸ˜€

  16. A happy happy happy birthday to the Bean. MM, you are making sure you start every birthday with a post from the past πŸ™‚ and these are the timeless gifts she’ll treasure most.

  17. Happy, happy birthday bean! πŸ™‚

    Here’s to another year of driving your parents crazy! Keep it up! You go, girl. πŸ˜€

    * raises a glass of juice for the toast *

    Have a phataphati year ahead. πŸ˜€

  18. * sniff
    * a quiet happy tear

    takes me back to jia’s second birthday…i can vividly see him standing there…in his benetton tee and shorts set which were made up of all the colours of the rainbow…chocolate cake smeared across your mouth and curls falling across his birthday…

    and today that very same now hulk is most embarrassed when i turn to mush on seeing babies !!!

    lots of love and god bless to bean..and much love to you all…

  19. how i wish i had kept up with that baby diary which is only some 15 pages filled …

    :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

  20. I’ve followed the Bean since her presence was announced…I can’t believe she is TWO full years already!
    here’s to many, many, many more happy years πŸ™‚

  21. Happy Birthday Bean. When you grow up, you sure will make your Momma proud. But this post that your Momma woote will make you proud when you look back in later years.

    Enjoy this life and yes, be good to your Brother.

    God bless you and your family.

  22. Darling little Bean,

    I just wanted to tell you that I love you soooo much, even though I’ve never met you, kissed your cheek, put a finger through your curls or tickled your stomach. And all this is beacuse of your mamma…the way she writes about you, for you. It takes my breath away and one can’t help but fall in love with you and be jealous of your mamma for having you.

    Happy Birthday darling Bean! I wish you so much joy that you can roll in it with much to spare!

    Love,
    Aunty M4

  23. Happy birthday Dear one..A very very happy birthday darling.lots of love and kisses to you.
    And MM,beautiful post..Beanie is going to love it and cherish it,forever.

  24. Happy to you Beanie! πŸ™‚ May you always bring light with those sparkling eyes of yours πŸ™‚

    Lots of love and prayers,
    R!

  25. Happy Birthday Beanie baby! May this year bring fun, frolic and good health πŸ™‚ You have brought sunshine to the lives of more people than you know now!

    Lots of love,

    Munchkin’s Mom, Munchkin’s Dad and the lil Munchkin

  26. Happy birthday Beanie!!! It’s so amazing that you’ve grown up so quickly…. and more amazing that you’ve grown more beautiful with each year πŸ™‚

  27. Happy Birthday…….. Bean…..I am sure these posts will be a treat to eyes and music to ears when we will read them many years hence…

  28. gosh…she is looking so stunning n cute in the blue frock…love the way u have cropped her pic n made the header out of it…

  29. Dear Bean,
    If the amazing year that was belonged to the terrible twos, life can only get more wonderful henceforth. I know you’ve had a rockin’ birthday, because your spirit would not have it any other way (yes, your dancing eyes in a still blog picture gives it away). I hope your mad momma will forgive an old lurker for crashing your party to toast your awesomeness with a warm glass of milk. Happy Birthday!

  30. Dear Bean,
    Many, many happy returns of the day!
    You look beautiful and you will grow up into a stunning young woman.

  31. Happy Birthday Beanie darling!!!

    And God!! She looks like a princess in that blue dress!

    MM, add that nimbu-mirchi pic to this post. πŸ™‚

  32. She looks like a baby doll in the 2nd picture…. oh well, she IS a doll ofcourse πŸ™‚

    And your letter was sooooooooo touching MM… beyond words to say what i felt reading it.

    Happy birthday Beanie baby!! Wish you all the happiness in life !!

  33. Happy birthday to the darling Bean!!
    She looks smashing in the little blue frock!! πŸ˜€ Here’s wishing many many more happy days for her and your family! πŸ™‚

  34. Happy Birthday Beanie darling!!!!
    She looks soooo edible in the pics MM….this is exactly why I have always wanted daughters…atleast one.. so that I can dress her up!! πŸ˜‰ Now please please please pray I have one….. πŸ™‚

  35. Happy birthday Bean baby!! God bless!
    You write beautifully MM, so many emotions that I almost feel like crying myself.
    Hope your baby has a great life ahead..

  36. MM thanks for reminding us what our daughters mean to us, not because we can dress them up, but because they are priceless for just being themselves a refletion of the women in our lives.
    Happy birthday to the beautiful bean….

  37. I thought of her yesterday but could not send any respone as the PC at home has conked off…

    So belated Birthday dear Beanie…. you look so beautiful

  38. Happy Birthday Beanie!

    I started reading your blog just before Beanie was born, and it’s been two years, joining you on your adventures, and making the Mad Family a part of mine too. πŸ™‚ It’s been one helluva ride.

  39. Happy Birthday Beanie Baby. You have brought so many smiles and laughs to many, many people than you would ever know! God bless you and hope you have a blessed year ahead, lil doll. Here’s a prayer for you:

    β€œMay happiness pursue you,
    Catch you often,
    And, should it lose you,
    Be waiting ahead,
    Making a clearing for you.”

    Hugs.

  40. A very happy birthday to little beanie.

    She has lots of ‘adayein’, and yes you have a spirited attractive girl in your hands, MM:)

    When she grows big, she will have lots of admirers πŸ™‚ Lots of love from Anjali masi!

  41. Happy Birthday Bean!

    wishing you a year filled with love, hugs, kisses, cleeps, somersaults, sunshine, hot chocolate in winters, pretty dresses, ratty tees, cute shoes, time with the brat and everything else a two year old wants and needs!

    mmuuaaah!

  42. Happy B’day, dear bright eyed little Beanie.
    God bless that the stars in your eyes never grow less.

    And MM, this was an awwwww…. post!

  43. wow it seems like yesterday she was born and OA did the guest post telling us that the ‘bean has sprouted’!

    Happy Birthday Beanie! you bring smiles to so many people than you know. God bless.

  44. Awww! she has the wisest cute eyes in the whole world..U lucky lucky Momma…Happy birthday Bean…Have lots and lots of such nice, pretty, happy birthdays

  45. I am the 101 commenter!!! wow!

    happy birthday (belated) to your sweet adorable angel…she is absolutely gorgeous MM, and will grow up to be just like you..independent, sensible, charistmatic, sexy and smart!

    Love the pictures…especially the first one!

    hope she had a great bday!

  46. Ahh, happy birthday Beanie. Nothing I can say that your mother hasn’t already, and so beautifully. Wishing you good health, courage, strength and love in your life always.

  47. *tosses self into a duck pond for thinking that the precocious Beanie had already been through her twos – seems unbelievable to think she’s just reached that milestone, given her flair*. I’ll use this as an excuse to say, have a happy birthday and a year filled with twice the laughs and love.

  48. Lots of loving wishes to the little Bean. May she have many more birthdays to celebrate.

    MM,

    Lovely post. Such wonderful writing, your emotions directly hit the paper and then our hearts… keep it coming. Let’s have little Bean’s b’day at every 6 months, so we will see such letters sooner. πŸ™‚

    S.

  49. My dearest Bean,
    Sometimes I just want to put you in a time machine and see you how and what you would be at 25!
    Love, love, much love.

  50. *sob sob* that was great! Hope when she does reach 25 that you wont sit in your room and say ‘I wish she wasn’t like that’. :p

    I’m getting that everyday πŸ˜‰

  51. Oh no! I missed my dollie’s b’day!
    Happy birthday, Beanie, and may you have many many many more. Wish you all the love and laughter in the world. Bless…

  52. MM…ur daughter is quite a head turner…she is going to have a long list of admirers! πŸ™‚
    Fantastic post!

  53. I am sure she would feel as lucky (while reading this blog years later) as you do to have her in your life…

    Hope all of you had a rocking time celebrating the occasion….Belated Birthday wishes to Bean πŸ™‚

  54. Dear Bean,
    Your mama writes what she really means
    Undiscovered admirers line up to cheer
    Goo-goo eyes devoid of fear
    Here’s wishing you heaps of khushi
    Kisses from head to tushy
    You won’t know what you mean
    To people who are yet unseen
    Always on call just for you
    Celebrate we must for you turn two
    Apple of mama and dadda’s eyes
    Brat’s on hand to answer your whats and whys
    We shall raise a toast to you
    Thank you for just being you
    xoxo from baby candy, candy and mars bar

  55. This is a darling post MM. I’ve read it thrice and i still cant get enough.
    I saw the photos too- that dress she wore, wondering if they make stuff like that in my size!!
    i am going to be in delhi 29th april -5 may. I MUST SEE BEANIE and BRATTIE!! MUST MUST MUST

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