At a loss for words

Now I’ve seen it all. I can die in peace.

Please look at that child’s face. I’m too shocked to say much more. The picture of him feeding the baby…kills me.

Edited to add: Here’s more on it. NOW we can stone the parents! Link via Shyam.

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49 thoughts on “At a loss for words

  1. Why no outrage at the grandparents, I wonder.

    Me: umm… because they’re not having sex at 13 while looking like 8 year olds? come on P – you cant blame the parents if the kids are old enough to have sex. that 15 year old girl needs a tight slep. she seems old enough to know better.

  2. Everytime I look at the picture I see my baby boy who is 8 but about the same size as this kid and can’t even imagine the scenario. What a pity!

  3. OMG…..WTF is going on? First its the octuplets and now this??? No wonder the economy is this bad…..obviously they are living out of tax payer’s money…..well, they certainly do contribute towards the current state of financial matters! dont mean to sound too materialistic, but what is wrong with people? i wonder what interest will remain when they grow older! PHEW

  4. Scary.. I have nieces that age, and many friends have kids that age… when will this kid ever have a childhood himself? And the baby? ugh!

  5. Where do we begin? At the negligence of a society to teach its kids restraint? Or the over-hyped, mis-designed sex education? At the terrible communication between parents and children?
    We dont get sex education in india – at least I dint, but we had a social system (now on overkill mode) which at least made us toe a line!
    I dont know – that system has so many gray areas but there has to be some kind of mechanism in a society to protect kids from sad life-changing incidents like this!
    Again, from the indian perspective, I guess child marriages face the same thing – they lose their childhood.
    What a way to wake you up to your blessings.

  6. LOL @ OJ’s comment ๐Ÿ™‚

    But really, what’s with teenagers having sex with no clue whatsoever of protection ??? Brickbats are in order for parents as well (grandparents in this case).
    The father proudly admits that he’s yet to have a ‘b &b’ talk with his son & will have one in future… err isn’t 13 too late for that ?

  7. I can not imagine something like that happening, but with a 13 year old (looking like a 8 year old) holding a baby and feeding her milk, I have no choice but to believe!

    I can not imagine they thought it was perfectly OK to have sex at 13 … and what was tat 15 year old girl thinking!

  8. If I die now, it shall not be in peace. I suddenly had this realisation that a guy more than 10 years younger to me thinks it’s okay to have a baby and I don’t! I must die, even if without my peace!

  9. I don’t understand all this fuss. We are how many billions on this planet? Survival is the purpose (or so it seems) of our race. So such accidents are bound to happen, every once in a while, in ALL countries. Probably, Indians are better at hiding and camouflaging such incidents. We would have probably gotten the girl married off to some unsuspecting creature.

    Me: EXACTLY. It happens here all the time. And in villages too. And most of our great-grandparents were parents by this age too. Not so long ago you know!

    When I was looking at the photos, my kid comes and says, ‘Aai, let us get a baby too no please. It will be so nice to have a small baby at home.’

    For once I am happy he doesn’t read, only looks at pictures. ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. Shocking. And yet not.
    Gradma was 13 when she had my dad. That’s just the way it was in those days. And its still not-so-rare in villages and amongst the not-so-privileged classes.

    But I’d think, in today’s world, with sex education, in ‘the developed nations’, they’d have more sense. Guess I thought wrong.

  11. something’s wrong in that picture, he’s too small for a 12 yr old and she’s too big for a 15 yr old!!I know i shouldn’t think abt this but i’m wondering which one of them initiated the whole thing in the first place.

    Me: LOL! Now that you mention it…!!

  12. i dont agree with your view that parents cant be blamed if the kids are old enough to have sex. i believe that grandparents in this case have a major responsibility for such a colossal mistake. and since when did 13 and 15 become old enough to have sex?.

    Me: actually Nidhi – if you’re biologically old enough to do it, you are old enough to do it. period. the moment you hit puberty – your body is ready for sex. whether society agrees or nor and the entire issue of understanding what it entails is different, isnt it?

    So i dont think you can really arbitrarily put an age on how old you should be to have sex or kids. the reason why our forefathers got us married off so early is because they were smart enough to know that there are urges that need to be dealt with. you cant just tell 13 year olds abt the birds and bees and expect them not to have sex. our villages are overflowing with 13 year old mothers, let me tell you. talk to anyone who works in the social sector.

    and finally – unlike a gun or a car – that the parents can lock up and keep under control – sex is something they have no control over unless we like muthalik support talibanisation. Sure, they should have had the birds and bees chat with their children – but look at the number of abortions by adults. birds and bees chats dont prevent babies. what if they’d had the chat, the kids used precautions and then still got knocked up due to contraception failure? is it still the parents fault? i dont think so.

  13. I can’t understand why the parents didn’t make the girl abort the child. It’s nice that children are allowed to think for themselves and make their own decisions but this is a bit much. I know kids who got pregnant (obviously much, much older) and not getting an abortion has never entered anybody’s head.

  14. This might be a strange question, but did they have a paternity test done? I mean, look at the boy! His voice apparently hasn’t “broken”, he does not have facial hair et al, and looks just like a baby! I wonder if he has reached puberty at all.

  15. First thing that struck me when i saw abortion should be made mandatory under suhc circumstances. You ought to grab a copy of freakanomics to understand how this kind of children often end up in streets and become a menace to the society.

    “if youโ€™re biologically old enough to do it, you are old enough to do it. ”

    If you cant understand the consequences or the significance of it, you shouldn’t be allowed to do it. Ofcourse, theere will always be one off cases in which abortion must be extremely encouraged.

    Me: You’re mixing issues. You can *be* old enough to do it, but it might be illegal – as in the case of voting or alcohol or marriage. Laws can be made. But that doesnt mean you’re physically incapable of doing it or that you understand the consequences naturally. at no point did i make that claim. So what you are responding to is my response to someone saying “are they old enough to have sex?” obviously they are – if they ended up pregnant. Should they be allowed to have sex – is a whole other question. I dont need Freakonomics to tell me that such children end up on the streets – although i have read it.

    And this my grandmother did it and so what is wrong if i can do it, doesnt cut it. Grandmothers ended up having 16 kids because of this, pushing the family from a well-to do to a poverty position almost. Unlike my grandmother, our times, we have got extended childhood(in india), spilling upto sometimes 14. To top it, Society is such that the a 15 year old today doesnt even have the maturity as the same as 15 year old of a century ago.

    Me: ROFL!! You think teenagers today arent as mature as teenagers a 100 years ago? You’re kidding me. They’re far more worldly wise. Maturity is hard to quantify or qualify isnt it? nobody said that its right because your grandmother did it. I said your body is ready for it – which is what that generation recognised – while we go all moralistic and muthalik on it. so all this middle class shock and awe is quite hypocritical. instead, we need to understand it and work with it.

    There are lot of things we can learn from western civilization, but this one i have my own doubts. If as a society you dont actively encourage it at that young age, it would be good.


    Me: errr…. Western civilization taught us about child marriage????????? Or did Western civilization go to our villages and tell them to get knocked up early? There are a lot of things we can blame western civilization for – having kids or sex at an early age isnt one of them. Its only in the last 50 years that we’ve started to get married later. Otherwise marriage, children and sex didnt wait as long as today. Lets not fool ourselves… I dont understand why we blame the west for our problems. they take responsibility for their own issues without blaming the east.

    “our villages are overflowing with 13 year old mothers, let me tell you.” I dont like such blanket statements. Because some one is going to read that and quote you know what indian villages are brimming with 13 year old mothers. The villages I have visited/hear of dont have this problem. I am not denying that there could be 13 year old mothers. I hear the practice of child marriages is still rampant in rajasthani villages that obv. shows they are still in 18th century. So, you are pretty much quoting from 18th century.

    Me: Actually I’m not. You and I dont have to visit the same village. I’m afraid someone will read your comment and say that India doesnt have premarital sex or children – which is also false!
    If the villages in Rajasthan are practicing child marriage – as you say – then obviously you cant wish it away and say “oh thats so 18th century.” and even if it were happening as you claim, only until the 18th century – its because that is how early people felt the sexual urge. on the other hand it *is* happening today. 21st century. and you’re contradicting yourself. Let alone villages – the number of teens going in for abortions in metros is on the rise. Are they living in the 18th century too?
    I’ve worked with organisations. and you need to only pick up the latest figures to see the rising number of teen abortions. Again – lets not whitewash. we need all the awareness we can get.

    In this case, it is parent’s failure not to advice abortion. They are kids who got scared to tlak about their pregenancy to parents, they would hvae easily listened to the abortion advice.

    “what if theyโ€™d had the chat, the kids used precautions and then still got knocked up due to contraception failure?” atleast then we know we attempts are made to prevent it.


    Me: Sure – parents need to have the talk and insist on an abortion but that opens the whole can of rights to your own body argument doesnt it? That was their only mistake. But to blame them entirely, is also wrong. I’d blame the parents of a 14 year old driving a car rashly – but I’d blame the 14 year old too. same logic applies here.

    At the end of this all – I hope you appreciate that I dont condone it – I just dont find it shocking that a 13 year old had sex on his brain.

  16. The world is going back to where it was 100 years back. Child marriages should be legalised I think. I mention marriage as in license for having sex than one man-one woman relnship.

    Poor boy, he looks so terrified!

  17. I just remembered the sex education class from The Wonder Years. At the end of the class, the teacher says…”Kids, now that you know how to do it…please don’t do it”!!!

  18. MM, I’m with you on this. Legal or illegal, young people will be..umm. horny. Sorry. All the value-based sex-ed and pledges of abstinence won’t change that. Pliss to rewind to Bristol Palin debacle.

    Apropos Sachita’s comment, that people will think that our villages are brimming with young teenage mothers. Why should we care what “they” think? Is that a reason to pretend that it doesn’t happen at all?

  19. MM,
    Call it on my ignorance, but a boy of 12, have sex and he can get a girl pregnant? OMG…..!!!!! A look at his face and it is like, omg, i wish i could hold the baby( i mean the father this time) and give him a tight hug…. The girl, as you said, needs a tight slap… she is 15 and shud have been more careful

  20. @ Mom Gone Mad – so you’re saying that The Jonas Brothers example will not work for today’s urban teenagers? He he he. Sorry for making bad jokes, but this is so scary that I just can’t help it…

    Me: LOL! Well who knows. I’d pick them as a better way to go about it than Muthalik!

  21. By the way, interesting developments here regarding this news! Seems another teen claimed to be the father of the baby now! (ok, I was intensively following this news coz its quite interesting! dont judge me for that!)

    So this girl supposedly slept with around 8 teenage boys when she conceived the baby, so there’s gonna be a lot of DNA tests done! All I can say is… What the!!!

    News here:
    http://www.thaindian.com/newsportal/world-news/another-teen-claims-to-be-real-father-of-13yr-old-alfies-daughter_100155296.html

    Also here: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2239272.ece

  22. Ages since I did it, but I read through your entire comments section today. I see you still attract trolls. God! I wish people could just start making sense in their heads and understanding things the way they are meant.

    But the entire issue is really sad. God knows what will happen to the little baby. Wish I could just adopt it!

  23. What on earth would compel a 13 year old to claim to be a baby’s father? I mean, what’s the motivation here?

    Me: yep – this one threw me. Why would a thirteen year old lay claim. Maybe its the cool quotient since its made headlines? its funny how teenagers and their motivations confuse me although its only ten years since I was one…

  24. i think its just ridiculous. its as bad as the woman who gave birth to octuplets with in vitro after having six kids already and having no job or any other security!

  25. I used to have a classmate who was 17 at the time I knew him, and had a 3 year old son. He and his family were bringing up the child, while the mother was back in the US.

    So it happens but OMG!!!

  26. Atleast, child marriages are better in the sense, its community approved and the kids involved would have some sort of guidance. But in this case, obviously the parents have not been keeping a check on these kids.Its probably a one off case, when the girl gets pregnant. There must be so many more out there who indulge in sex when they ought not to. Yes, they are physically ready for it, but not mentally and emotionally! I think this issue only points to lack of a moral structure in society itself.
    ‘Moral policing’ is indeed a not so cool thing these days. But still some sort of a moral consciousness is essential to uphold social fabric.
    This whole thing is just so disgusting.
    (Of course, the first line wasnt intended to defend child marriage.)

    Me: I dont know about a defence of child marriage – but it just makes great sense when you realise that after some point the whole moral argument fails too. a 13 year old is just too young to have much control over his urges in a moral way. the only thing that would deter is fear.. i think. and … oh damn. i really dont have a clue…. i just feel terribly sorry for the whole bunch of them

  27. When they had sex, the boy was 12, the girl 14. Unfortunately, she looks way older than her age, and the boy looks way younger than his – but is that any reason for the majority view of wanting to give HER a “tight slap” and the boy a “tight hug”??? For heaven’s sakes! The boy gets away with it because he is cute and the girl isnt?

    Me: ROFL. Well, for the record I dont think either needs a slap. their punishment is the night feeds and diapers! but that is the way of the world isnt it? he looks like a baby and she doesnt so naturally people respond to that. not saying its right – just understanding why people are reacting that way. she looks atleast 20 and he does look 8!

    Two years gap isnt a huge difference at that age, and as like as not both of them were ignorant of the real pitfalls of having sex. Having an immature mind in a mature body is definitely a problem. Plus there are ADULTS who dont understand about unprotected sex and whine about “I only did it once”, so why should these children be any more knowledgeable?

    Me: agree fully here. said so in a comment too – that there are plenty of adults who get knocked up accidentally – why shouldnt these kids be treated with more generosity of spirit?

    Again, yeah, the girl’s supposedly been promiscuous… but she’s obviously not been taught better about the perils of underage sex. Either both kids are to blame, or neither is. Blame the parents instead.

    me: this one I dont agree with. I know you have sex ed classes abroad. and anyone who knows enough to have sex also knows that having sex makes babies. parents cant be blamed entirely for your raging hormones – if anything – for lack of information. although enough teens with all the sex ed in hand get pregnant to show that it doesnt really help. teenagers will be teenagers.

  28. Nuff jokes,has anyone actually thought what kind of life that baby’s gonna have?Think about it!When that little pink ball of ga-ga’s,goo-goo’s and giggles hits 13 his father will be a year younger than I am now.Now I’ve had a job for 6 years now,went wild for a while,but then settled down.Even now,I can’t imagine being a parent.I’m just not mature enough.These people are teenagers for Pete’s sake!

    @mad momma – what kinda parents you think they’ll make?Think it’ll work out?

    Me: well – you know, i am sure they’re nice enough kids who might have grown up to be decent parents. lots of teenagers are having sex and lots are having abortions. so its not like these two are the scum of the earth. but all this limelight and tamasha so early in life will shape them into very different people. that said i know plenty of adults who want kids, have them after much medical intervention and still end up being terrible parents. i do hope these two make good parents. its really nobody’s fault and i’d hate to see either them or the child suffer…

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