Mummyjaan recently wrote this post and I am so much in agreement with her that I have to jump in.
I am rather tired of people comparing the Bean to their children. So I often get this – Isn’t she really tiny for her age? Or, isn’t she too small?
Err… Too small for what?
It’s usually followed by a sermon on what the right foods to feed a child are. And how I should be taking her to a doctor and feeding her tonics. All then leading to how their own kids are so heavy that they need help carrying them.
Earlier I was apologetic and I’d start explaining how the slim OA and I couldn’t possibly have non-skinny kids. How we have short family on both sides. How her childhood eczema could be a contributing factor. And then one day I just lost it. Why the hell am I apologetic and who the hell gives them the right to imply that there is something lacking in my child? She’s bright, beautiful, gutsy, intelligent, funny and adorable.
I don’t get it. Why are we so obsessed with big, fat kids? They look cute until they’re one and then they’re just unhealthy. Period. Why exactly should I be aiming for that? In fact, it is your poor feeding practices that lead to obesity so err.. lets start on you and your ‘healthy’ baby, shall we?! My ped says that the weight ranges we follow are suitable for babies in the West. Not ours. We’re smaller built compared to them. And their babies are meant to be 12 kgs at 2 years. Ours should be around 10 kgs. More than that is overweight. So lets give that some thought. Obesity is a problem okay? A baby that looks like a pug is only cute on Anne Geddes cards and you’re doing the child a disfavour. There’s a war against obesity in parts of the world but nobody in India seems to have got the news flash.
You lay claim to your body type early and then you stick with it. I can’t imagine a child belonging to the OA and me, being fat anyway! Tall, maybe, but then his family as well as mine have women who are shorter than 5 feet. So she’s just following her genes. How is it anybody’s problem how small she is as long as she is mentally and emotionally fit?
How would they like it if I asked of them –
Isn’t he developing really slow? Shouldn’t he be talking by now?
He doesnt have teeth at 15 months? Mine got them at 4 months.
She still can’t speak sentences at 20 months? Mine counts till ten.
He doesn’t speak 3 languages? I guess you don’t have enough time to speak to him, huh?
He’s not walking yet? At even 13 months? It must be all that weight he’s carrying.
I feel bad getting mad at the parents and taking it out on the children actually, but I’ve noticed loads of parents doing that. Comparing children and not even having the grace to blush. Openly pointing out that there child is soooo much better, and shouldn’t I take my child’s problem more seriously?
Well then, I cancel all previous statements to the kids and here’s my response to the next parent who says ‘Isn’t she too small/thin/tiny for her age?’
– Aren’t you a little too stupid and insensitive for your age? or wait – how about… Aren’t your brains too small for your age?
Yes, I know this is a rant so go read Mummyjaan’s well thought out post instead.
While on the subject of weight – I read this bit of news. A childless couple is not allowed to adopt because the husband is overweight. I am speechless. I understand the court is worried about his health, but what guarantee is there, that I in my size 28 jeans and the OA in size 30, are better parents? Will give a better home? Will live longer? I’m already falling apart at the knees.
Somebody commented that it might be motivation for the man to lose weight. In my experience, having a toddler in the house makes you lose weight!
But going back to the news – it’s a sad, sad day when a childless couple wants to adopt a homeless child and spread some love – but is turned down for such a cosmetic reason. Whats next? The government taking away your children if you’re overweight? And offering them what? A bed in a dormitory and timely meals? Wow. That should make up for love and a family.
As for my little skinny minny Bean – when other girls her age are starving and dieting and she sashays by in her little size 24 jeans (like her mom used to – note past tense!) we’ll see who has the last laugh. For now, come lets go kick some nosy butt!