The OA is travelling

… and I am running errands in the local market after work. Thanks to the bum knee I need to do everything once and for all before I trudge three floors up to my house.

The kids are home and I am eager to see them, but something is missing. That little tug that makes me skip coffee breaks at work and soldier on through work for the last 6 years… that’s what is missing.

The bleddy man has killed the urge to go home if he’s not there. Home is all four of us. Even one less, particularly if it’s the other adult in the equation and it’s not home.

I wander around listlessly picking up a pair of blue sneakers here, a pretty dupattta there and consider trying them on. Then I lose that urge too.

Finally I do something that never fails. I dial home and ask to speak to the kids. The maid puts them on…

I walk the short distance home, chatting with them. Their excited voices reel me in like an invisible thread. I reach home and walk in, surprising them. Once back home the evening passes in a flash with them.

As night falls and they go to bed I sit down to type this post and heave a sigh of relief. I’ve made it through the day without him.I shake my head in irritation at the mush, but I can’t help the way I feel.

Thank God he isn’t a consultant spending weeks on end away from home…. Tomorrow is another day and he’ll be home. And then it will feel more like home.

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25 thoughts on “The OA is travelling

  1. girl, dont even go there. i’d rather your dont put this comment up, but its your choice. i have to, have to tell somebody. you’re post got me crying. no, it’s not THAT mushy. it’s just that i know almost what you feel.
    my boyfriend and i were best friends at university and he graduated a year before i did, (in tamil nadu) and moved to gurgaon to work. THEN another year later, the bugger realizes he’s in love with me and asks me out. I had graduated by then. so we had exactly 4 days together before I left for for my masters.
    oh god, this is so so difficult. i swear i’m going crazy. living alone and missing him and i hate to cry, but i read your post and i cant help it.

    Me: okay i took out your name… so that I dont look like the only idiot crying πŸ™‚ chin up. it gets over soon. the OA and I were apart while he did his MBA and it wasnt fun that time either 😦 but more bearable that the 22 month apart relationship. atleast this time there were phones!!

  2. Yeah, home! I feel that is what is incomplete in my life and I hope to be “complete” with errands, excited voices and someone waiting for me in 2009. Great post, TC and make sure you show your knee to your doctor again.

  3. Know the feeling. And I sometimes hate myself for missing The Guy so much even if he’s out for a single day – makes me realise how emotionally dependant I’ve grown on him!

  4. πŸ™‚ Imagine if you had to stay away for 8 months! I did! 😦 But Thank God that`s phase has gone..
    I can so totally understand the sentiment..

    Me: There was an ex I didnt see for 22 months. well that explains why he is an ex.

  5. Oh dear, I am the odd one out here. Honestly speaking, I am relieved for the first three days when my demanding hubby leaves town. Its on the fourth day that I call him and ask, ‘When did you say you are coming back?’

    And to prove that I do love him, I will add a mushy secret here. I don’t wash the last shirt he wore till he comes back.

  6. πŸ™‚ I can totally identify with what you have written sans the kids for me, as of now!

    I can never understand how married couples ( I say married here, coz when you are single you do stay separately anyway) stay in different cities or countries…I don’t just see the point of being married in the first place!! I know, to each his own…just something I don’t get…

  7. Awwwww! πŸ™‚ Mushy, mushy!

    But don’t you feel like getting away and being alone sometimes? I love being around the husband but crave some alone-time once in a while. (Which is when I subconsciously pick a fight I think.) But this might be because we are together ALL the time – same workplace too! AND we don’t have kids yet!!!

  8. I hear you, MM. P took off for a week to Japan for a conference and it was so not fun. I promised myself that when he got back I was NEVER going to nag him about helping out more at home. Because when I had to do his share as well as mine, I realized how much he did contribute. Of course, that resolution didn’t last long! πŸ™‚

  9. What would you say to a 3yr long distance relationship – US and India!! It was HARD!! Now, if he goes for even a day I feel so lost! Even he does not like to leave us for a day. I so agree with your last line about home not feeling like home without him!!

  10. I could relate to what you said,MM.When my husband is travelling,I find it much easier to pass my days,what with my daughter keeping me always on my toes.Its the nights that are the most difficult to pass.I just keep tossing from side to side.They just seem endless.
    When he is back,I’m the most dutiful,loving,caring and ‘pati-vrata’ wife for the first two days and the third day I’m back to my ‘chandaal’ self! As a result my husband realises he should be touring more often.It is the only way,as per him,he can get me to value him more.
    As I post this comment,the OA would probably be back.Yet I wanted to share my take on the subject.
    Have a good weekend:)

  11. Pingback: Your typical LDR « Back to blogging

  12. And the emptiness of the bed, neat on his side … haven’t you hugged that emptiness at night and cried and felt stupid and angry with yourself for loving someone so much?

    Me: *whispers back* psstt… yes, but dont tell anyone. I think there are enough people laughing at me already πŸ™‚

  13. ” And the emptiness of the bed, neat on his side … haven’t you hugged that emptiness at night and cried and felt stupid and angry with yourself for loving someone so much?” –

    One of the most beautiful comments here…. It does happen, isn’t it?

  14. πŸ™‚

    i so know what you mean! i am lost even with my parents even M isnt around! its like i am cluless about everything i usually do pretty much on my own incluidng msiling a lot!

    its good to have experienced such love! πŸ™‚

    cheers!

  15. i just can NOT sleep in our home if he is not next to me. But if i go to my mom’s home i can sleep alone. But at our place.. the rule is simple, “to sleep in our home, i need him next to me.”

    i felt stupid when i had to share this with him too and i am not sure, why i am telling u this either πŸ™‚ may be just so that you feel that there are more people stupids in this world

    **btw ‘stupid’ is a mean word (as per the movie Game Plan) thats one more of the baby talk we have picked at home πŸ˜‰

  16. Loved this post. Hit home so acutely. 12 years into the marriage and I still sob when he leaves for the airport for his many official trips.
    πŸ™‚ He gets it. Others don’t. Call me pagal. Let em talk, what do they know…it’s good to know that you do. πŸ™‚

  17. Pingback: A rose is a rose is a bloody rose. Okay? Okay « The Mad Momma

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