It’s all about respecting your wife!

I thought I was done with Sanjay Dutt. A wise friend who is so much more zen than me is constantly counselling me to –  and I quote her in all caps –  “IGNORE.” But I can’t. I can’t ignore. For one, that would mean shutting down this blog 😀 For another, silence means consent. It means none of us mind. And that isn’t true.

A few days ago Goofy Mumma wrote this post and asked me to link up. Stop Sanjay Dutt from winning, she said. I thought about it. Is Sanjay Dutt really the worst of our lot of politicians? Enough for a campaign? Enough to take seriously?

I mean he was a druggie, was accused in an illegal possession of arms case, said to have abandoned a cancer -ridden wife, and then child, married again (or didn’t he?!) and now again. Hardly the poster child for Indian politics – who the hell would vote for him? And then you realise – bloody shit – he is the best we have!!! Look at all our other uneducated, goonda raj politicians who have scores of murder cases against them. If that isn’t pathetic, I don’t know what is. And then again- there is the whole bunch of young turks like Sachin Pilot, Rahul Gandhi, Jyotiraditya Scindia, Milind Deora, Omar Abdullah and many more. They seem slightly cleaner than the others. Give one a little hope.

And so that is where I was, believing that nobody educated or in their right senses would vote for him…. But oh how wrong I was. And oh how right she is. We really seem to need to tell the idiots out there, not to vote for him. To stop making a mockery of our political system.

Today I was sitting somewhere when I overheard this conversation where this lady who was discussing Obama and his inaugural speech went on to in the same breath say that it’s good that Sanjay Dutt is getting into politics because we need some young blood. Young? At 50 plus??

I choked on my cup of tea. She sounded quite nice and educated and aware and was discussing GDP and Satyam’s fudged accounts until then. And then she ruined it all by saying she thought Sanjay Dutt was a suitable candidate? Based on what?!!!!

I didn’t think we’d need campaigns against some idiot filmstar  – look at the number who came and went – Big B, Jaya Prada, Govinda. But I slowly feel the solid earth beneath my feet give way. This is educated India. And it is in favour of voting for an uneducated,criminal junkie who has no political background just because he is a filmstar. A regressive, chauvinistic man and his little star(t)let of a wife who wants to lecture us on what an Indian woman’s role is…

Man, we’re really scraping the bottom of the barrel if we want to compare him to Obama and call him our next hope. Somebody lock me in that barrel and throw it into the sea. It sounds like a better option than knowing that he might be one of the hands that rules our country.

The surname controversy is snowballing. Yes, taking your husband’s surname is tradition. But the growing furore among women signals change. That should say something. The fact that more of us choose to speak up about it, even those who took their husband’s name, says something. I’m tired of the stale old argument against it that even your father’s name is a man’s name – patriachal.

Yes, it is my father’s name, but it is the name I was christened with. I love it as instinctively and unconditionally as I love my father. It’s as much a part of me as my first name and my food habits. Something I grew up with and something that slowly became a part of my identity. Because unfortunately, 30 years ago, my mother didn’t have the strength to stand up for her name and neither could she make it a part of a name. I guess it doesn’t matter because I’m a carbon copy of her – a name wouldn’t matter.

My surname was a choice my parents made for me just like the many other choices that they made for me when I was too young to make my own. I respect that, just as the rest of the choices they made for me, to raise me in a particular religion, tradition and with certain food habits. But today as an adult, I get to make the next set for all my living days. My husband is not my father, and he and his family don’t have the right to over rule and dismiss my past or my identity and change my present and future. The one I am slowly building.

My husband’s name, just like my husband, is something I need to gradually grow to love. If at all. Otherwise my name is a part of my identity and I refuse to shrug it off. Yes, it’s tradition. A tradition that is a hangover from the days when a woman was just another of a man’s belongings, like his farmland. It wasn’t tradition for women to work in those days either. It was a man’s job to keep the home fires burning. But I notice more and more men want a wife who will go out and work, which is not traditional – but she must take your name because that is traditional?!  The money she earns is not bad, but the name she wants to retain is disrespectful?

In fact its not just about work. Housewives and SAHMs have as much of an identity as anyone else  – the choice as to father’s name, mother’s name, husband’s name or the next door neighbour’s name is entirely up to them. Heck – women have a right to make up surnames as they go along and it’s still nobody’s bloody business. This is not just about women. This is about men too. It’s about them fighting for a woman’s rights to keep her name. To have an identity. Give her respect and she’ll return it. Dutt says, taking your husband’s name is respecting him. I say, leaving that choice to her is respecting her.

I think the reason for the outrage over Sanjay and then Manyata’s statement is the hypocrisy of this couple. There they are one moment, whooping it up like decadent Bollywood is known to –  doing drugs, posessing illegal weapons, changing their names like its going out of fashion, marrying, divorcing… doing all the things that traditionally wouldn’t be acceptable.

And the next moment calling upon tradition and the role of an India woman. Saat sau chuhe kha kar, billi chali haj ko. WTF? Who do they think they’re fooling?  Oh right – us. We, the foolish people of India.

I’m not one for going all moral – but here you have Manyata with her underwear on display, telling us the role of a woman is to keep house for man and take his surname? I’d say it’s also to keep your underwear, UNDER neath your outer WEAR. And to save the skin show for the husband, since you’re going all traditional – don’t you agree?

A friend who watched her on an interview yesterday says said something to this effect – I am his woman, I don’t even go out for a coffee without his permission. Thats how much I respect him.

The words may not be exact but you get the picture…

Right. So respect = permission for a cup of coffee.

As this generation of struggles to find a balance between the modern and the traditional, between a woman’s right to her personal choices and still being ‘Indian’ (whatever that might mean to you)  – it’s unnerving to have to accept such people as our leaders.

Apparently the woman has changed her name a couple of times too – from Sara Khan to Dilnavaz Sheikh, to  Manyata now. How nice to be able to wipe out your past with a new name and a few statements aimed at the masses like – If you can’t accept your husband’s name and family then why marry?

I’m not really as livid as I was earlier because I look at it this way – What can you really expect from a two bit starlet looking for easy fame? I’m sure this is her understanding of marriage – taking some man’s name. Because of course that is all that marriage is about. Finding a famous surname – Bachchan, Gandhi, Dutt, Ambani – and latching on to it for what it’s worth.

I don’t think she understands that marriage is about mutual respect and understanding and has nothing to do with your name or his. It’s probably too deep a concept for a person shaking her booty to a bunch of catcalls and ‘alhar mast jawani…’ Actually how can taking on a famous star’s surname be a big deal to someone who has happily changed her name twice to become Manyata?!

May you fare well Manyata. And may you learn that marriage is a little more than latching on to a famous family’s coat tails. And taking ‘permission’ to go for a cup of coffee. May you also learn that a man living in a woman’s home is no less than a woman living in a man’s home. It takes a lot more to make a man than bulging muscles, drugs and illegal possession of AK 47s.

Anyway – getting back to Goofy Mumma’s post – do read all the posts she linked up to. Most interesting. Also read Nino’s mum’s post here. And oh – put up this badge if you like. I don’t know if it will help. But since I really don’t know what will help – I am willing to do anything anyone suggests.

final_m

Write about it. Spread the news. It’s not about Sanjay Dutt. It’s about aspiring to a clean political system. About aspiring to a leader like Obama who seems to have reached out and made even us Indians so far away feel hopeful. It’s about caring enough to make a difference. Talk about it in your daily life. Politics seems to have descended to a place where only the filthy are willing to touch it. Thats not right. It belongs to us. We need to speak up. Have an opinion. Vote. Care. Reclaim it. And if you haven’t registered to vote – go here.

Argh. Look what you two did, Sanjay and Manyata – made me break my resolution of not posting more than once in two days. Argh.

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52 thoughts on “It’s all about respecting your wife!

  1. Another round of applause! I am with you all the way through this Sanjay Dutt bashing. He is a criminal, even an anti-social element…. and he is speaking about moral responsibility of women after marriage… particularly his own sister, who (even though corrupt as usual) didnt mind placing her own political career in jeopardy to support her criminal brother through his court trial…. not that this brings out any greatness out of her… but atleast it shows what a ch***** Sanjay Dutt is!

  2. Man!! It is so easy to annoy you! 🙂

    Me: totally! 🙂 if i didnt get annoyed I’d have nothing to post about!

    Some observations:

    1) All these talks about marriage/surname blah blah can easily be attributed to Amar Singh ji. These 2 *kids* 🙂 , i.e. Sanju and Mannu, do not have the brains to come up with it and neither they have experienced a proper married life. Sri Amar Singh ji migh be planning him to contest from Malihabaad/Sultanpur/Amroah.. or even from Lko. Just imagine, this kind of talk, and the kind of love/vote it will generate from the *real* voting public…

    Me: see – that is the scary thing. Sultanpaur Malihabad mein aise log toh chha jayenge…

    2)I almost choked on glass of water when I read that you were drinking tea. For some reason, I always thought that you’d be into Hot Chocolate/Horlicks things. 🙂

    3)Since when have the numbers of ‘chuhe’ been reduced to 700? I always thought the minimum requirement for a Billi to do a Haj was ‘Nau-so’, i.e. 900
    P.S: Given that the rat population is increasing as compared to cats, I would have thought that the number will increase, say ‘Barah-sau’

    Me: really?! nau sau?! LOL! sorry. nau sau then. and why on earth would you imagine me drinking Horlicks?! although i admit to drinking two cups of milk a day 😀 and you choked on water? i always thought you’d be into single malts 😀

  3. I think I understand your outrage at people like Sanjay Dutt entering politics. I wrote abt it in my blog a couple of days back. So sick it is…

  4. “I am his woman, I don’t even go out for a coffee without his permission. Thats how much I respect him.”

    Excuse me while I barf.

    My father says he IS a criminal so he joined politics. It becomes difficult for our country to indict politicians and even more so, elected officials. So he is doing it to escape his conviction, not inspite of it.

    What do you think of that!

  5. First of all, being a father of a 18 year old daughter hardly qualifies you for being a “youth”. Wearing tight pants on screen does not reduce your age!

    Secondly, Manyata seriously needs to learn the difference between marriage and prostitution. If she feels she has to do certain things because he is providing for her, the lady clearly does not know one from the other.

  6. Pingback: Feminism and Post-marital Name Change « banalities of my life

  7. The nicest thing about this post is the link to register your voter status. Since I have been moving city every two years, I have given up my voting rights since ages.
    Thank you, MM.

  8. yeah I saw that interview too… the exact Q & A went like this:

    the anchor: Manyata, the court’s order might not allow Sanjay to contest in the elections, in that case, will you be contesting on his behalf?
    Manyata – Even if I have to go out for a cup of coffee with friends, I call him up and tell him where I’m going and with whom – whether it is a movie or a lunch or anything I always take his permission before going. So this being a major decision, it will be totally taken by him.

    I was like, is this woman for real? she is saying this on national TV in today’s date?
    I was so disgusted that I didnt want to hear any more of it!

  9. Yesterday in PuneTimes there was a poll asking people who they thought would be a Obama like orator in India. 60% voted Narendra Modi. Makes me think if its some kind of a joke. And its alarming to see how many educated people get a lot of social issues really twisted.

  10. I don’t take my husband’s permission for going out for coffee. I haven’t taken his surname. I don’t …
    Oh, that’s only because my husband isn’t a criminal!
    Good luck to them, the idiot and the idiot-wife of an idiot!

    Me: ROFLMAO…. *wipes tears* Sumana – you’ll be the death of me…. cartoon.

  11. I so completely agree with each and every word of this post. firstly i was so annoyed to read all that stuff about surname in the news paper… in today’s times is that really so important to discuss? Surname is a personal choice. whether you stick to your father’s or husband’s… your choice clearly.

    why don’t we discuss about potential candidates whom we can demand to be in politics? who can really bring about changes in the country? and then all this Sanjay-Manyata issue. looks like every political party is trying to get worst criminal in their party… i know there might be arguments that there are worse criminals than Sanjay but then we have to put a Stop somewhere… why not Sanjay? what credentials does he have? every time i have to vote i am confused.. whom should i vote? everyone seems to have a criminal background. and the young blood is just shying away from politics.

  12. I read about the not going out for coffee without permission bit & linking it with respect .But then what else can be expected of someone like her who needs to hang on to someone to live the lifestyle she could not perhaps sustain on her own earnings?Both SD & his wife need to get their heads checked before opening their mouths again.And yes the thought that there are people ready to vote for the likes of them is scary.

  13. wrote something about this a few days earlier:
    http://theninoeffect.blogspot.com/2009/01/mr-roncon-take-bow.html

    The media has also milked this for all its’ worth, swamping newspapers with stories of women who haven’t changed their name. I know, I was featured too. The thing they should be doing, is feature men and families who are home to independent women. That would be the correct quid pro quo. And that will send a bigger message. For every sanjay dutt, There are atleast a few OA and Nino’s Dad around.

    Me: you’re right. Here’s a tag – why dont we ask the husbands to go a guest post. i know mine will just write a one-liner! but its a nice idea… you clever girl!!!

  14. Sorry sweetheart for the first time i could not bear to read it till end. i could somehow manage to reach the line which stated Manyata takes her husband’s permission to go out for a cup of coffee. and my reaction is a big bold WTF!!! Does she take his permission to even use the loo???

    forget it, they are not even worth my anger. but yeah the whole debate about earning and surname hit a wrong nerve 🙂 . my in laws think they are not “liberal” enough to let me go for office outings and parties, but the money i earn is an extra bonus for their son. They can boast about their “bahu” earning such and such a figure. It is ok for their sweet sons to go enjoy parties, but their “bahu” no ways. my husband is out of his mind to ALLOW me to do such stuff.

    i am so happy we live seperate now… and i am attending my office party today. atleast do not have to worry about going home and seeing faces that have suddenly got mums for a week

  15. Sanjay Dutt would urely know what he’s talking about as the self-appointed guardian of married women’s morals. After all, he’s been married so many times and involved with women outside wedlock even more number of times. How can we just trash his authority on the issue? 😛

  16. yes yes baba. janata should go and kick butt of mr and mrs. dutt. agreed agreed.

    but in the momentum you went a little overboard about her choice(s) of religion. thoda zyada personal ho gaya i think.

    Me: Well of course. that is the entire point!!! its all personal – choice of name as well as religion.

    she went from sanya to dilnavaz to maanyata – definitely Muslim sounding names, to a nice little Hindu homemaker. this dropping off identity and all that it carries might be okay to someone like her – but to wax eloquent on those who dont discard their names like yesterday’s underwear.. is sad.

    i’ve retained my surname but i dont go around saying that those who take their husbands names are regressive or backward. where the hell does she get off, saying stuff like that?!

    i mean she changed her first name for something as small as a non-existent movie career – a little cheap item number and some b-grade movie that was so disgusting that her husband bought the rights and pulled it off video stores. so taking on her husbands surname for the infinitely more substantial benefits and power it brings, must come easy

  17. Dear MM,

    I read in your response to someone’s comment that you drink 2 cups of milk everyday. I remembered that you mention that you dont know why your knee is paining. May I suggest that you just check if you have too much calcium in your body?According to my knowledge, when there is a excess of calcium in your body, it tends to create calcium deposits which then become painful. Might be worth checking. Just trying to be helpful.
    Cheers,

    Nivi

    Me: 😦 oh my god. now too much calcium could be a problem too ?? thanks so much for the thoughtful suggestion. i’ll get it checked. as a matter of fact all the damn doctors have made me take another 500 mg of calcium a day saying it may be a deficiency. hmm.. damn. thanks so much for this info… will go back to the drawing board with it.

  18. Dear MM,
    Hey, you are most welcome!What are friends for otherwise:)
    Ofcourse, I guess I come under the acquaintance category right now:):)

    If you dont mind, will you just let me know if my analysis is right?
    Just for my knowledge:)
    Take care,

    Nivi

    Me: 🙂 I sure will. thanks so much again!

  19. Thanks MM, really. A superbly done post as always. Have linked this up in my post too. Loved reading it. We should get BEWARE/DARO tattooed in caps on this man’s forehead.

  20. its just ridiculous whats going on! its like they have an incurable foot-in-mouth disease! and they are just making everyone angrier and angrier!

    but what scares me is that majority of people still actually think that what the “couple” said is right!

    i think name change is SUCH a personal issue. no one has a right to comment on it eitherways!

    and times our husbands learnt how to keep us in control so that we seek permission n all that jazz?! nahi?! aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrggghhh!!

    cheers!

  21. This husband surname issue is such a huge pain. I had a man in my life who would go berserk whenever I mentioned I did not want to take his surname or for that matter wear a mangalsutra as I am not used to it. Thankfully the relationship never lasted and when I met my husband, this issue never came up. It was perfectly natural for him that I retain my surname. I also respect women who changed theirs for whatever reasons except coercion. I bless Sanjay and Manyata though…at least they made u do a post today :)…keep the good work flowing in….

  22. hi MM,
    I’m a regular reader of your blog….hope you never stop wriing….I came across the posthumuseditorial by Wickramatunga in which he talks about the role of media and jounalists, thought you’d like to hear it:
    “The free media serve as a mirror in which the public can see itself sans mascara and styling gel. From us you learn the state of your nation, and especially its management by the people you elected to give your children a better future. Sometimes the image you see in that mirror is not a pleasant one. But while you may grumble in the privacy of your armchair, the journalists who hold the mirror up to you do so publicly and at great risk to themselves. That is our calling, and we do not shirk it.”

  23. As long as we’re talkign about your knee problem, it could be asked by Uric Acid deposits in your knee that is leading to the gout.

    One of my aunts had a terrible problem with it. She couldn’t walk for a while. Apparently it could be caused by meats like beef, pork et all. And she was asked to lay off them for a while.

    Look into it. And let us know what’s the cause.

    Me: nope. checked it out. had the tests. no uric acid. no gout. and i barely eat red meat. more of a white meat person.

  24. Wouldnt it be more helpful if these messages reached out to the actual voters in UP? Whoever has any relative/friend/acquaintance in Uttar Pradesh should reach out and spread the message and hope that it trickles down to as many people as possible. I will update my Facebook status to that effect.

    If I am not mistaken, I read somewhere that he was going to contest from LKO. That gives me some hope as opposed to the rural interiors.
    Btw, he is going to be 50 soon so young politician tag is a gross misfit, if he tries to use it.

    Finally, if SD himself were to read this post (yeah yeah, I know its in English and more than several paragraphs long) then he would perhaps try to point out that he has been acquitted of the TADA charges. He still has a case on weapons possession pending. But no matter what, I think he is a useless idiot at best and a certified criminal at worst.

    Me: You know.. a lot of people get acquitted here. we’ve sort of lost respect for the whole legal system 😦

  25. Pingback: What’s in a name anyway? | Musings

  26. Hi MM,

    First time commenting.

    Love u’r blog & the style of writing.

    I believe myself to be a feminist(u too). After marriage, i have also kept my father’s name as surname. ( but love to have my mom’s name, but that’s a long process). And for our only son, we have given a first & last name that is completely his. so we have 3 different surnames for a family of 3:)

    Agree with u’r post, but with a small hitch.
    it’s taking after u’r husband’s name. U have mentioned when u grow to love the OA’s surname, u may have it (if at all). But the point is will the OA have u’rs if he grows to love it?. I feel that we, husband & wife are equals. As Equals, we keep to our identities. Nothing (even love) can change that.

    Hope u don’t take offence & get what i mean.

    Me: no offence taken at all. I hope I’ve married a man who would feel enough love to do that. but i also know we are socially conditioned very differently – for this day and age, we need to start with baby steps. if not my husband, i hope my son is enough of a feminist as well as manly enough to be able to take his wife’s name and live with it. 🙂

    Take care of u’r knee

    Warm Regards,
    Nirmala

  27. I’m feeling better only now, after you’ve done the ranting for me. Thanks, girl. The coffee and permission thing was pretty accurately quoted to you, by the way. Saw it in the ToI yesterday and barfed into my coffee.
    That’s it. She’s getting bumped off into the Persian Gulf. We’re evil, independent women with the audacity to have our own minds and permission-free lives. Might as well add her elimination to our laundry list of crimes.

  28. I so agree with you. I was speechless with disgust after I read about him comparing himself with Obama.
    He calls himself a family man and all that ..bull shit…and I am fuming right now, totally mad. I share the same opinion about all these crooks Sanjay, Manyata & specially Amar Singh. Seems like Amar Singh’s group does not have any merit/good quality of work/good ethics based on which they can ask for vote… and so he is trying to rope in “famous” people, the good ones will not join him ( While I say this I have my fingers crossed), so the crooks, criminals as long as they are famous will work. Is it really so easy to fool we Indians??Hopeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee not.

    Check this out
    –On her supposed ex- husband casting all sorts of allegations she asserted , “I would like to clear this and ask the media and all the people watching this show. How can they believe a con man that has 365 cases pending on him, almost one case a day?”–
    source–http://movies.indiatimes.com/News__Gossip/News/Sanjay_Dutt-Maanyata_The_Real_Love_Story/articleshow/msid-4020237,curpg-6.cms

    Exactly my question for Manyata: How can we trust our country with you both??

    MM, Take care and hope your knee trouble goes away soon.

  29. That was a hilarious piece and I am glad to see more people joining the campaign.

    BTW don’t forget to watch Dutt’s next film
    Chala Munna Neta banne

  30. OMG I read that comment too yesterday and thought I mis-read at first.. maybe she was trying to be cute-sy and say HE takes my permission.. you know something like that (also until yesterday I had little idea of who she was – thanking TOI.com for putting her in the top stories.. bah!). But then realized.. THAT is what she was saying! I think what she really meant was “I take his permission to go for coffee before he rolls out of the bed and leaves exact change for me”. Both Mr. and Mrs. gross me out.. God lock them up somewhere – literally too.

  31. Dear Momma,

    Great post! I really liked that “Argh” in the end. 🙂 I simply wish we have more things happening everyday to inpire up a post from you everday! I completely agree with you. We should simply not allow Sanjay Dutt to be anywhere near the parliament. I’ve borrowed your, “say no to criminals in politics” badge. I was also inspired to write about the “surname” controversy boiling all over in your post.

    Do comment please!

    Here’s the link:

    http://www.venusmoonboy.blogspot.com

  32. From what i know from the blog, the OA is capable of doing that.And yes, there is always a middle ground. Let’s hope our son’s go a step above their fathers:)

  33. I almost choked on the water I was drinking myself when I read that part about the “educated” woman talking about Obama and Sanjay Dutt in the same breath. Oh My God.

  34. one of my friend..happens to name her child after her…and having the father’s name as well! i find that very interesting and innovative..whereas she has retained her maiden name.so her initial goes mother.father.baby’s name..:)

    btw i still officially go only by my maiden name…and Mr is absly fine with it.pratically speaking.i have to change every damn record if i have to take hisname..and i dont have time nor keen on doing that 🙂

  35. MM,
    Did you watch her on NDTV Good times – First Wives last night? you would have gone ahead and murdered her…. Such lies and c**p….
    God,such people do exist, eh?

  36. this post had me laughing on the ground MM..

    especially the “And then you realise – bloody shit – he is the best we have!!! ” part..

    then the rest of the post was sad..

    I read Sauvik’s blog regularly.. you have increasingly started sounding like him..

    Delhi Delhi Liberty Liberty?

    btw, you mentioned the young Scindia.. years ago when I happened to be on Stanford Campus, me and San were walking by and a sports car revved up at 50+ mph on a dormitory road (where the speed is supposed to be 10mph max!).. we were just zapped. we were later told by a friend that the “prince of gwalior” was driving that car..

    somehow cannot imagine a person who has no respect for rules and law (even in a foreign land where you are the benchmark by which your entire people will be seen) take over the rule of law! Scary.. very scary!

    saw the final banner and laughed. It is the same story in most countries. If you stop criminals from current politics, you will have to stop politics!

    Me: Hey – no, I havent read Sauvik. I shall check up the link. As to Scindia – I am sure you’re right. But look at our other options – Modi and Patnaik who sit by watching genocide, Laloo who is a joke and sends his wife in to bat when he is considered a criminal, I could go on… and then Sanjay Dutt the latest joke… corruption, scams, bribery, murder, booth capturing – our politicians stop at nothing.

    i have no love lost for Scindia – the only plus is that as of now he’s not involved in anything scandalous. as for speeding, drunk driving, smoking grass – i think all of us have done a little of that in our college days. not to be encouraged no doubt – but not a huge deal at that stage, IMHO

  37. okayyyy, i read this one second so now i am slightly more clued up about what happened to the woman i thought sunny boy married. the twat abandoned her. and married manyata ( is that her real name, not that i have anything against it, it sounds like a made up name). obviously manyata doesnt even go out for coffee before she has sanju’s permission. she must have his blessing for that tasteful little item number ( i saw the link). and obviously sanju baba is smiling down at her if she wishes to run for political office. oh wait, maybe she by her ownrespectfulself is going to be his little marionetten theatre. and he is going to be amar singh’s. This country has well and truly gone to the proverbial dogs. actually the dogs have ceased to be proverbial.

  38. “I thought I was done with Sanjay Dutt. A wise friend who is so much more zen than me is constantly counselling me to – and I quote her in all caps – “IGNORE.” But I can’t. I can’t ignore. For one, that would mean shutting down this blog For another, silence means consent. It means none of us mind. And that isn’t true”

    //this is exactly why I love reading you. The drive to make a difference. And oh yeah, the age old debate about taking your husband’s name. Never-ending that is.

  39. Pingback: A rose is a rose is a bloody rose. Okay? Okay « The Mad Momma

  40. Pingback: What’s in a name anyway? « Musings

  41. Pingback: What’s in a name anyway? – Lakshmi

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