Baharon phool barsao…

… mera mehboob aaya hai…

I have always loved this song. The sentiment is beautiful isn’t it? Asking spring to shower flowers on your lover as he arrives.

Maybe it’s just me but love consumes me and takes over my life. And I’ve always noticed a lot of similarities in the relationship with a child and a lover. From the way there is a strong physical urge to hold and loveĀ  – to the urge to mother, to nurture, to give your all for…

The Brat and Bean come back tomorrow morning. I miscalculated and am regretting it now. Partly because I had so much planned that isn’t ready yet and also because I’ve been torturing myself imagining there was a day more to get through without them.

But they’re on their way as you read this. On their way back to Mama and Dada.

We’ve had a good break and while we’ve missed them, we’ve achieved so much more with our time. We’d forgotten what it is like to just be a couple in a home. We’ve curled into bed with a packet of chips and watched movies. We’ve taken late night shows and drives. We’ve partied without worrying about little people asleep at home. We’ve opened bank accounts, filled forms, done yoga, tidied up the house, had pest control done. All this in just one week! Now I see why DINK couples choose to stay that way! We were into the baby business so early in the marriage that we were still struggling to make ends meet and didnt get to see this side of life. Where you’re well settled, financially stable, have time and househelp and are generally in too comfy a place to shift.

Well anyway – we thought we were okay. But our actions spoke otherwise. In the last two days we’ve been working nonstop. Doing up the house. Yes, our kids are 23 months and 3.5 years old, but we’re so excited that we’ve done up their room, hung up cute new coat pegs, new name plates on their door, posters on their cupboards, and pulled out all their toys and fitted new batteries, chucked the older toys and got them a new basket ball, foot ball and frisbee. And I’ve gone and picked up new pots and decorated the entire stairway with flowering pots, hanging baskets of flowers and much more nonsense. I’ve put a fish bowl full of orchids on the coffee table and a very contemporary steel vase full of pink liles on the dining table.

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I don’t think the kids will notice any of it. But it was just something I wanted to do. Flowers are so beautiful. They are a way of celebrating. And I’ve been so miserable without them that my heart lifted as the days of separation came to an end. I just instinctively picked up flowers and did up the house, the way I’d do it if anyone else I cared for was coming home. I didn’t do it consciously. Just went to the market and picked up the pots. And as I limped home, lugging up the pots it struck me I was buying it for the kids and how foolish I was being. Maybe someday they will laugh at their foolish mother, for now, I’ll just revel in the excitement of their homecoming and the beauty of the flowers.

And oh – here’s proof that I painted the garden furniture until an hour ago – out in the dark and cold Delhi winter night.

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I’d been planning to do it for a while and then realised this is the perfect time, with the kids out of the way. The OA raised one big-city-boy eyebrow, wanted to know why we couldn’t just pay someone to do it and got back to his laptop. I settled down with the tin of paint and began. I ended up covered in paint and with a backache, but with this sense of satisfaction that I realise I only seem to get from physical work and never at the end of an article well written.

So now that it’s done I’m ready to apply for my H1B. Hell, if I can do my own painting why shouldn’t I move to the US? Oh right, I forgot the little matter of cooking my own meals. Alright, here’s the dealĀ  – Will paint for food. Any takers?!

Anyway – am off to get more tidying done so that the Brats can come and have something to mess up tomorrow!

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49 thoughts on “Baharon phool barsao…

  1. Dear MM,

    Please put up pictures of your beautiful kids once they are back. Pictures of the strairway and the furniture and the pots and ofcourse the kids room are most welcome too!

    You write so wonderfully, I wander about in your house (and your life) as I read your posts, and your pictures will make the images in my mind more complete.

    S.

  2. hey how was ur valentines day ..
    i was looking forward to some awwwww post describing something romantic that OA had done ..

    ( please note – am not complaining abt this post..)

    but do post ur Vday story soon :-)

    love

    Me: LOL! am not really a Valentine’s person – so no, no post on that at all!

  3. the flowers r gorrrgeous! i once sent lillies to a friend on his birthday and was told that it’s like cancer watching them die. how awful! i love the gorgeous orchids… they r too pretty

    give the beanie and the brat a big big hug!

    i painted one of the walls of my hostel room a bright bright yellow :D i must show u pics now!

    doing up the house is like feeding a small puppy… makes u all warm on the inside!
    hai na?

  4. You’re crazy – but you knew that! :-) No, not at the flowers/doing up the kids’ room, but at painting furniture at night! Why wasn’t the daytime a good time to paint?

    (and no, no H1 for you lady, plenty of people aleady available to paint! :-))

    M

  5. How wonderful…of course you should do flowers and whatever else u like for them. And I am sure they will notice it. Cheers to your happy reunion. You writing makes me wait with bated breath for the post where we find out how it went.

    I noticed you have your long nails back :)

    Me: you noticed!!! Yeah. They’re nice and long and I chopped them just before I started painting … so this is shorter than they were yesterday morning!

    You finally ready for H1B? Move to Texas. Food and evenings/weekend baby sitting anytime for you. My fence and swing set needs a touch up :)

    Me: LOL! done.

  6. Amazing !! They flowers look beutiful. More so because around me right now everything is dull and grey and I just cant wait for spring. The boys have been down with cold and have not been the brats that they usually are. So I miss them too:) Strange na .. Do you have any home remedies for quick releif from cold so that they can be back to their bratty selves. The house is too tidy and quiet with them sick.

    Me: one thing that really works is putting the steamer next to them at night with eucalyptus oil. They sleep better, the cold gets better and they wake up feeling healthier and rested. tried it?

  7. Yes, do post more pics MM. You are such a wonderful mother honestly…I can feel the excitement of the kids coming back…and I totally know what you mean..without the home feels so incomplete.

  8. Dear MM,

    Waiting to see and read the kids latest pics and updates after they are back from Nani and Gpa’s house :-) As for the H1B,you’re always welcome at our place he he ;-)

  9. Will you let me play with the kids for food? Then we can strike a deal

    Me: you are on too! the more helpers, the better!

  10. The whole place sounds so beautiful :) Pots and vases and flowers. Coat pegs and name plates for the Brat and Bean!

    I am gonna pick up loads of flowers today on my way back from office:D

  11. Such a wonderful post!! I totally understand the way you feel and you have written it so beautifully…. ok, words can’t do justice to the beauty of this post. This will go to my list of most favorite posts on your blog :)

  12. Please adopt me, MM!
    From as far back as i can remember, i’ve got flowers – for myself, for friends, even for random people i know – its the best ‘cheer-me-upper’ i know!
    Give me a bunch of wildflowers (tho my favorites are the smaller tiger lilies – the ones called Alstroemeria) and i will love you for life! i LOVE the flowers on ur table.. have i asked you to adopt me, already? :)

    Me: If you will babysit ;) thats the best use of older kids!

  13. to prepare for someone homecoming is full of so much excitement and fun, isnt it.. baharo phool barsao is just so apt!

    first timer as in commenting, hv been reading ur posts for some time & happy to keep visiting again..

  14. Beautiful post. Really heartwarming. Some day your kids must read these posts. I feel the same about flowers, and also about physical work, though i really marvel at how much you covered in just one week!

  15. My neighbour painted his gate with his new Aquaguard dry and wet vacuum cleaner..with the attachment that sprays liquids..he was very happy with it..t

  16. Obvious personality-quiz style question everybody seems to be too polite to ask (and you know that’s not me) -
    If you could, would you have waited before having had your kids (given hindsight etc)?

    Me: Nope. I find my body and mind are getting worse as I age. The body weaker, the mind more rigid. I’m happier to give my kids a younger body and more fun mind. Maybe others age better! That said, money is always welcome – but then I also want my kids to know want and see their parents struggle. Not be born into a home with every single comfort. although comfort is relative. we have everything a family should have so …. i’m rambling. ignore. i’m happy this way. keeps the spark alive to have to sneak away from the kids ;) i know too many other couples who have no kids and have to turn to props :D

    Also, painting furniture? Is it wood? If it isn’t, then go for it. If it is, then…..Naaaaaaahiiiiiin. Why do people torment wood thus? Wood should be gently sanded, lovingly polished, and fondly varnished. Nothing more. No paint.

    Me: painting wood is sacrilege. this is outdoor bamboo furniture though and getting ruined so after months of clear varnish i am resorting to paint.

    And don’t listen to Roop and Anamika – I can cook AND garden. Plus I’m an expert on Bean’s problems. Come to the UK…you know you want to.

    Me: I do so!! I enjoyed my trip there though walking while i was hugely pregnant and unused to it was a pain. in december too!

  17. This post is a mirror of what I am going throu. Tonight i was to leave alone for the launch of my novel in Chennai. My kid has been after me to let him come with me, but hubby said , no, he will be too much trouble. So I bought some pretty curtains for his room as compensation and then Hubby said, What the heck, take him along. And I am so happy, I don’t know how I am going to give that ‘I will take you only if you behave ‘ talk convincingly to him.

  18. I love the song too… but not as much as I used to. Not after hearing an acquaintance “sing” it at a party. Not once, but twice! And now I cant listen to the song without that wobbly-voiced out-of-tune caterwauling voice overlaying Rafi sahab’s dulcet tones… *sighhhhhh*

    I’ll never forgive that so-called singer…

  19. Hey, if it is not already too late, will u click a snap of the kids when they see the flowers all over and post it on the blog?

  20. flowers are Gorgeous with a capital G! i’d do anything to have them everyday! n yet i know ppl who go ‘eer… wat r those?’

    painting in winter would have been much better than painting a swing in the porch at 29 degrees in d afternoon! haahha… i stubbornly took it upon me n did a lousy job towards d end. my only benefit was that i was smart enough to choose black paint cos it didnt show so badly! LOL

  21. It’s one of my all-time favorite songs! Rafi’s voice and the lyrics are a heady combo. I usually spend a lot more on flowers than I should be, but nothing peps a space up better than the splash of color and the freshness that comes from flowers.

    Me: alright imposter. who are you and what are you doing here? will the real altoid please stand up? :p

  22. What H-1 B – unfortunately it’s exactly those boring desk jobs that get you H1Bs.
    I know totally the feeling of satisfaction from physical labour. I am married to a aerospace engineer but more than his day job, it’s his handy work from painting to door-fixing to even earring fixing is what is most attractive to me. Not in a stereotypical macho man-with-tools kind of way but knowing that someone has the exactness, the patience to create something physically. There is an intelligence to it easily dismissed because it’s physical which I’ve always thought ridiculous. The roads around us, public transportation, beautiful architecture..every convenience in our life is a result of smart, committed physical labour and needs to be appreciated more.
    I don’t hang up things as much because I’m not so tall but I do make things with my hands for anniversaries, birthdays etc. I do it as much for myself as for him!

    Me: :) I’m so glad you said that. Too many physical jobs are dismissed as brainless… has anyone stopped to pay attention to the uneducated sculpture sitting by the roadside, churning out perfection?

  23. I remember how you had converted an old CD stand into an all purpose shelf for the bathroom. Pure genius…why painter? Go for interior design…more money in it!The flowers look lovely, you must be relieved to have the kids back. All the best.

  24. Thanks for the tip. Yes I am a firm beleiver in natural oils and thats the first thing I usually do. This time it seems like they caught a strong bug( plus being preemies their immunity is not as strong) Had to give them cold medication. My home is still clean and quiet.

  25. Lovely flowers. So you are barsao-ing flowers on the kids on their arrival? Such a cute thought.

    I agree about similarities in love between lover and child. I’ve realised that songs professing love fit beautifully for a child. Lovely post.

  26. Dear MM,
    Patiently awaiting the Bean’s 23rd month post.

    Priya

    Me: none this time Priya. was most miserable since she was away. will do a big bang birthday one :)

  27. Loved this post, MM. Bit weepy though.Am struggling with separation pangs as I write from a hotel room in St. Petersburg where I’m on a work-related trip. Wrenched that I’ve left my molar-teething darling who is clingy and calling out to me. I can’t describe that knife through my heart:-(

    loved your flower arrangements. I’m a total fresh flower freak myself and get the greatest joy from trawling the markets for the perfect bunches every sunday. Its so true – they are a celebration of life!Do you like lilies?

  28. :O :O :O! I did this too.. same song too. N visited his parents in India last year for a week. For his homecoming the decorated the stairs with flowers with the words “baharon phool barsao….” on every step of the stairs!!
    I know the feeling MM. You are awesome. Just like me :P

    Hugs!!

  29. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! i am squealing because your steel vase is exactly like the one i bought on my last trip to india!! is yours from Magpie too? and eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee again, just last week, i put lillies in mine too- but the smaller, less fragrant version because hubby is allergic to the lovely big fragrant ones! eeeeeeeeeeee. more sqealing!
    also beanie’s 2 birthday is only a month away- am coming home at the end of april! i am so dying to see her!!

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